开心汉堡店

Bob's Burgers S06E01

Part 3 March 8, 2020, 6:57 p.m.

-眼光剪 -催泪瓦斯
- Eye scissors! - Tear gas!
-臭气眼 -牙签
- Stink eye! - Toothpick!
-粉红眼 -挖球器
- Pink eye! - Melon baller!
但机器胡最终难敌费舍奥德
But Robo couldn't handle the big Fisch.
竟敢以下犯上
The pupil becomes the master!
系统错误
System error.
联♥系♥胡须系统管♥理♥员♥
Contact Mustache Administrator.
大脑马上就会爆♥炸♥
Brain explosion any second...
我好像没...
Actually, I think I'm fi...
哎哟
Oh, God.
大脑爆♥炸♥原来这么疼
Brain explosion hurts so much.
好像从鼻子里灌水比那更糟
It's like getting water up your nose, but worse.
我帮你把它装回去
Let's get this back on.
再来
One more time.
这次可以了
Now I got it.
反了
That's upside down.
你留着吧
How about you just keep it?
我那没地方放
Oh, I don't really have a place for it.
这是我的遗愿
Well, it's my dying wish, so...
那我把它放在我的仙人掌上
I guess I could put it on my pet cactus
让我的仙人掌看起来也像长了胡子
so it looks like my cactus has a mustache.
你能想象出来吗
Can you imagine?!
你已经死了
Oh, you're dead.
老爸死了
Dad was dead.
他的胡须被放在了仙人掌上
And his mustache was on a cactus.
一定会是这样
And that is what would've happened
一定
definitely for sure.
还真是发人深省
It really makes you think about stuff.
不老爸不会死的
No, Dad wouldn't die.
老爸老妈会在一起
Mom and Dad would end up together!
而且如果那些警♥察♥抓了所有人
Also, if they arrested everyone,
谁去游乐园呢
who would go to the amusement park?
德国游客
German tourists.
老爸我找到了些理论
Hey, Dad, I found something here.
"睾丸衰竭可能导致面部毛发减少"
"Loss of facial hair can be caused by testicular failure."
睾丸衰竭
Testicular failure?
天你连睾丸都衰竭[失败]了
Gee, even your testicles are failures.
它们也很努力的好吗
They're trying.
换个话题吧
Let's just change the subject, please.
好聊聊运动运动到底是啥玩意儿
Sure. Sports? What are they?
我知道如果爸妈相遇时
I know what would have happened
老爸没胡子会怎么样
if Dad met Mom without a mustache,
这个故事甚至更悲伤
and it's even more tragic.
我们这是在干什么
Guys, why are we doing this?
老爸老妈最后总会在一起的
Mom and Dad would always, always end up together.
嘘蒂娜
Shh, Tina.
一见钟情对当事人来说
Love at first sight is a powerful thing
是很强大的东西
between two people.
虾得这么扔
This is how you throw a shrimp!
嗨我叫鲍勃
Hi. I'm Bob.
但通常其中一人会没感觉
But usually one of those people will not be into it.
嗨我对你没感觉
Hi. I'm not into it.
这样就一点都不强大了
And then it's not powerful at all.
很悲伤
Just sad.
而且我已经半推半就地订婚了
And I'm semi-happily engaged.
不过至少老妈给了老爸一些建议
But Mom at least had some advice for Dad.
我就直说了
Look, I'm gonna be blunt.
你的嘴太光滑了
You're a butter lip.
-得有点修饰 -可♥卡♥因♥吗
- You need a little face candy. - Cocaine?
不我说的是胡子
No I'm talking about a mustache.
俗话说
You know the saying.
南方来的是绅士有胡子的是坏小子
A gentleman down south, but a bad boy above the mouth?
我没听过这俗话
I don't know that saying,
如果我有胡子了你就有感觉了吗
but if I had a mustache, you'd be into it?
也许吧不过不重要
Yeah, maybe, but it doesn't matter.
我只在这里呆一晚而你绝不可能
I'm only in town for one night, and I'm pretty sure
在一天内蓄起胡须所以拜拜
you can't grow a mustache in 24 hours, so, bye.
明眼的都会知道
A smarter man would have known
这是没戏了
he was getting the brush-off,
但老爸太喜欢她而且也太蠢
but Dad was so hooked on her, and so stupid,
他把这话当成了挑战
he took it as a challenge.
老爸试了各种方法
Dad tried everything.
他擦
He rubbed.
粘
He glued.
喷
He sprayed.
到最后只剩一种方法了
There was only one thing left to try--
许愿
a wish.
我希望我能长胡
I wish I had a must...
-这玩意坏了 -别啊
- Out of order, buddy! - Oh, no!
法师的手出故障了
The swami's hand's on the fritz.
他的中指一直跳起来
His middle finger keeps popping up.
其他人看到不太开心
Not what people are looking for.
那你能准我一个愿望吗
Well, then, can you grant me a wish?
我不是很有资格
I'm not really qualified.
我只是维修员
I mean, I'm just the repair guy. I...
我真的很急
Look, it's an emergency!
好吧那来吧
All right, uh, I'll do it,
但如果你许愿让我脱衣服我会生气的
but if you wish my clothes off, I'm gonna be mad.
我希望我有胡子
I-I wish I had a mustache.
你的心愿实现了
your wish is granted.
太好了谢谢你
Great, thank you.
好啦不能保证成功哦
All right, no guarantees on that.
坏法师
Bad swami.
一开始一切如常
At first, nothing happened.
我在想什么呀
What was I thinking?
之后...
And then...
爱死你了魔力占卜机修理工
You sweet, magical, fortune-teller repairman.
是真的你怎么弄的
It's real. How'd you do it?
过去的事已经不重要了
Don't worry about the past.
我们来谈谈我们的未来
Let's just talk about our future.
你下巴上又长了一小撮
you got a little soul patch, too.
确实是
so I do.
还有点连心眉我刚刚都没发现呢
And kind of a unibrow, how'd I miss that?
巨大的络腮胡爆♥炸♥头
Giant muttonchops and knuckle afros
从耳朵里也在往外冒
and a bushel of hair coming out of both ears.
还有你的鼻子也是
And your nose, too.
好了我们点菜吧
okay, so should we order?
-我要吐了 -什么
- Oh, I'm gonna throw up. - What?
服务员
Waiter!
所以是和狼人差不多吗
So I'm like a werewolf?
还挺有意思挺酷呢
That's kind of fun, kind of cool.
不你只是浑身毛发疯长
No, you just have uncontrollable hair growth everywhere.
并不是...真让人发毛
That's not really... that's just uncomfortable.
-对 -别担心了老爸
- Yeah. - Don't worry, Dad.
当你们命中注定在一起时
When you're destined to be together,
无论头发怎么失控疯长
uncontrollable hair growth
也阻挡不了爱意的滋生
can't stop uncontrollable love growth.
嘘嘘老妈感觉超级恶心
Shush, shush, Mom was super grossed out,
于是老爸就得撤回愿望
so Dad needed to unwish his wish fast,
但是...
but...
我去机器没了
Oh, crap, the machine's gone.
我一辈子都要这副鬼样了
I'm stuck like this forever.
老爸悲痛欲绝
Dad was devastated.
他很失落地带着一身毛走开了
He slumped away, hairily.
鲍勃等等你是个好人
Bob, wait; you're a good man,
你做这一切都是为了我
and you did this for me.
我来帮你
Let's try to make it work.
你还是想吐吗
Are you still gagging?
这才是你
There you are.
你又回来啦
There he is.