开心汉堡店

Bob's Burgers S06E01

Part 4 March 8, 2020, 6:57 p.m.

想看看吗
You want to see?
竟然完全是无用功
Oh, so that was a lot of work for nothing.
抱歉
Sorry.
也许我们该出去走走
Maybe we should just go for a walk.
你想出去走走吗
You wanna go for a walk?
想吗要去吗
Do ya? Do you wanna go?
你能不那样说话吗
Can you not say it like that?
有人兴奋咯
He's excited.
因为听到了"想"字
He heard the "W" Word.
我是有一点点兴奋但求你别那样了
I'm a little excited, but please stop.
有那么一刻
For a moment there,
他们似乎感觉适应了
it seemed like they had it all figured out.
毛球好歹绑个马尾♥行♥吗
Hey, hair ball, put it in a ponytail, right?!
人行道上都全是你掉的毛
You're shedding all over the sidewalk!
别管他们
Shake it off.
我们加快点速度来
Let's pick up the pace a little, come on.
酷
Cool....
你看有人认可呢
You see, that guy gets it.
我很喜欢可社会绝不会接受你的
I love it, but society will never accept you...
他说的对
He's right.
我能给你什么样的未来
What kind of future could I give you?
我这样子生活还有什么指望
What can I do with my life, looking like this?
你可以...
You could,
奇幻码头
所以我认为我很适合
So I thought I would be an excellent freak
出演你的怪咖秀
in your freak show.
你有什么证书吗
Any, uh, qualifications?
我...已经浑身是毛了
I'm... I'm covered in hair.
-学历呢 -什么
- Education? - What?
学历
Education?
我...达特茅斯学院
I... Yes, Dartmouth.
抱歉我骗你的
I'm sorry, I lied.
我很紧张所以说了假话
I panicked and I lied.
-我明白 -其实是哈佛
- I see. - Harvard.
我又说了谎我并没...
Oh. I lied again, I don't...
我没上过大学
I... I didn't go to college.
所以你以为凭着毛发长得快
So you thought you could just grow your hair a little
就能来怪咖秀混了是吗
and jump into the freak business, did you?
我们的人可都是专业的
These people are professionals.
都受过专门训练
They are trained.
你胸口碎大石么
Can you hang bricks from your nipples?
我觉得不太行
I... I-I don't think I can.
不要太快下结论
You would know.
抱歉浪费您时间了
I'm sorry I wasted your time.
不你被录用了
You know what, you're hired.
等下真的...是太棒了
Wait, that's... that's great.
十分钟后上台
You go on in ten minutes.
拿吹风机来给他整个造型
Get the hair dryer! We need a blowout!
老爸就这样当了一辈子怪胎
Dad lived out the rest of his life as a freak.
奇幻码头
野人
老妈出现了过敏离开了他
Mom developed an allergy and left him
成了一个修女她以为
and became a nun, 'cause she thought
自己会像《修女也疯狂》里一样
it would be like Sister Act.
然而并没有他们把她赶了出去
It wasn't, and they kicked her out.
最后她进了监狱全剧终
Now she's in jail. The end.
就是说我在那个故事里更没尊严了
So I have even less dignity in that story.
所以这才更像是真的
So that's the one we'll accept as true.
原本就会这么发展
That's what would have happened.
老爸好消息针对你的中年危机
Dad, great news; there's a treatment
我找到一个应付办法植胡须
for your midlife problems: a mustache transplant.
由我们的植发专家
"Let our talented doctors take follicles
彰显毛发
毛发移植诊所
从你身上毛发较浓密的地方取发
"From a hairier part of your body
用手术种植到你嘴唇上
and surgically implant them on your lip."
我才不做那个
I'm not doing that.
但你是最佳人选
But you're the perfect candidate.
你到处都是毛
You have hair everywhere!
背毛腹毛
Back-stache, belly-stache.
最重要的咋不说屁屁毛
Hello? Butt-stache!
能不能...
Can we just...?
能让蒂娜发言了吗
Let Tina have the floor finally?
好的因为我知道
Yes, because I know that
就算那晚没有胡须
even if there's no mustache that night,
妈和爸仍会在命运的指引下
Mom and Dad would still fall in love
坠入爱河的命运让人幸运记得吗
because of fate, which is great! Remember?!
虾得这么扔
This is how you throw a shrimp!
就这样他们相爱了
Done. They're in love.
大家听懂没有问题吗
Everyone got that? Everyone clear?
这听着不太对
that doesn't sound right.
就是嘛老爸受伤时会发出怪声
Yeah, Dad makes a weird noise when he's hurt,
吸引不了任何人
and it's not attractive to women or anyone.
连猫都会给吓到
It scares cats.
说得对
Yeah.
好吧也许他们一开始有点看对方不顺眼
okay, maybe they start out a little rocky.
你胳膊抽了吧赶紧回去吃药
Hey, crazy arms, take your crazy-arm medication!
我看你才是药吃多了吧
Looks like you took too much of your medication.
如果你有下列症状
Call your doctor
赶紧看医生去吧
if you experience any of these symptoms.
丑脸蠢样口气
Ugly face, dumb face, dumb breath,
驴脖畸形腿
donkey neck, weird legs.
畸形腿吗
Weird legs?
就从你腰部以下算
Only from the waist down.
在他们一吐心中不快后
now that they've gotten all that off their chests,
爱的火花就要开始四溅了
sparks are ready to fly.
我的天
Oh, boy.
我可不认为都这样了还能溅火花蒂娜
I don't think this is getting back on track, T.
怎么不会这是命运是天意
No, it does. Fate! Destiny!
我们结婚吧然后生三个小孩
Let's get married and have three kids
永远幸福地生活在一起
and live together forever!
好呀
Okay.
一点都没说服力
Completely unbelievable.
就是太瞎了蒂娜
Yeah, I don't think so, Tina.
我认识的琳达才不会那样
that's not the Linda I know.
天呐你们说的对
Oh, my God, you're right.
老爸会一走了之
Dad would have walked out,
然后他们会远离彼此的生活
and they would have been out of each other's lives.
-之后... -什么什么
-And then... -Wha-What? What?
咋了
What?!
太糟了糟透了
It's bad! It's bad!
你确定不是你故事讲得太糟么
Maybe you're just telling it bad?
还不明白吗
Don't you see?!
如果老妈和老爸没在一起
If Mom and Dad don't get together,
妈和雨果的订婚就不会告吹
Mom's engagement to Hugo is never broken!
准备好了吗亲爱的
Are we ready, darling?
所以我们真的要结婚了
So, we're actually doing this?
当然
Of course!
不是彩排了吼
This isn't the rehearsal anymore?
这是...真的结婚了
This is the... the thing?
雨果为婚礼蓄了胡须
Hugo grows a mustache for the wedding.
很浓密变很帅气
It's bushy, and it has it going on.
不要
No!
还要更糟
It gets worse.
他们有了三个孩子莫娜
They have three children-- Mona,
迪恩夏丽姿
Dean and Charlize.
因为老妈没和雨果分手
And because Mom never breaks up with Hugo,
所以他不也会承受心碎的打击
he never suffers the tragic heartbreak
成为卫生督察员
that turned him into a health inspector.
现在他很幸福还如愿开了一间
So he's happy, and he pursues his dream of opening...
餐馆
a restaurant.
开心热狗店
今天是个大日子周末啦
Big day today. It's a holiday weekend.