牧场趣事（2016）
The Ranch
第二季
剧集 | 牧场趣事（2016） | 导航列表
牧场趣事（2016）
The Ranch S02E20
Part 3
June 24, 2021, 11:39 a.m.
是啊 我们没看到他
Yeah, and we couldn't see
因为站在我们前面的家伙不肯放下雨伞
because the guy in front of us wouldn't put down his umbrella,
于是你把伞折成了两截
so you grabbed it and snapped it in half.
雨伞只会妨碍你做个真正的男人
The only thing an umbrella protects you from is being a man.
我以前应该多带你去看演唱会的
I should've taken you to more concerts.
以前很多事我都应该换种做法
I should've done a lot of things differently.
现在说这个也于事无补了
Well, doesn't help us to talk about that now.
我应该当个更好的丈夫的
I should have been a better husband, Mags.
要这么说 有些事还是值得深挖的
Then again, some things are worth exploring.
不 我说真的
No, I mean it.
我把牧场摆在你跟儿子们之前
I put work before you and the boys.
也许要是我不这样 他俩能更出息点
Maybe if I hadn't, they'd have turned out better.
或者至少跟现在不一样
Or at least different.
我以前该找些新爱好的
I should've found some new hobbies,
多读点书 多旅行旅行
read more books, traveled.
真的 旅行吗 我们会去哪儿呢
Really? Travel? Where would we have gone?
你想去哪儿都行
Anywhere you wanted.
夏威夷 - 当然了
Hawaii? - Sure.
只要有烤猪肉吃的地方都不会太差
Any culture that buries a pig over hot coals can't be bad.
那墨西哥呢
What about Mexico?
有何不可呢
Why not?
墨西哥卷饼其实就是个半边汉堡
A taco's basically a sideways hamburger.
巴黎呢
Paris?
夏威夷和墨西哥还行
Hawaii and Mexico would be fine.
听着 现在做点改变还不是太晚
Look, it's not too late to make any changes you want.
我说不好
Nah, I don't know.
我都72岁了
I'm 72 years old.
你今年就做了些改变
You've made some changes this year.
现在有乔安妮在你身边
You have Joanne now.
等你病好了 带她去墨西哥
When you get through this, you should take her to Mexico.
也许你还可以穿短裤试试
Maybe you could wear a pair of shorts
还是那对你来说太暴露了
or is that too revealing for you?
穿短裤只能说明你不是个男人
The only thing that shorts reveal is that you're not a man.
玛利亚
Maria...
给我倒杯酒
give me a shot of
要占边 尊尼获 杰克丹尼尔斯 詹姆森和金快活混的
Jim, Johnnie, Jack, Jameson and Jose all in one glass.
这样 等被警♥察♥拦下时
That way, I ain't lying when the cop pulls me over
我说只喝了一杯就不是撒谎了
and I tell him I only had one drink.
这种喝法叫龙♥卷♥风♥
They call that a tornado.
为什么 因为要这么搅一下吗
Why's that? 'Cause all the drinks swirl together?
不是 是因为这么喝完之后
No, 'cause after you drink it,
你会去拖车住房♥区捣乱
you trash a trailer park.
嘿 柯尔特
Hey, Colt.
嘿 杰瑞
Hey, Jerry.
你♥爸♥的事我很遗憾 他怎么样了
Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your dad. How's he doing?
他没事
He's doing okay.
我爸妈去看心脏科医生了
They met with the cardiologist,
医生说他明早要做血管造影
said he has to get an angiogram in the morning.
你肯定挺担心的
Well, I'm sure you're worried,
但医生们还是很厉害的
but it's amazing the things they can do.
我做过三次支架手术
I've got three stents,
一次猪心脏瓣膜置换手术
a pig valve
还接受了一个23岁女人的肝 做了移植手术
and the liver of a 23-year-old woman.
但我想要的不是她的肝
But it wasn't the part I was after.
你们买♥♥彼得森牧场了吗
So, did you guys close on the Peterson ranch?
没有 我爸去看医生前没签字 所以
No, I, uh, couldn't get my dad to sign before he left, so...
让公鸡签就行了
Well, we'll just get Rooster to do it.
什么
What?
不能伪造我爸的签名
We can't forge my dad's signature.
这可不是申请信♥用♥卡♥
It's not an application for a Discover card.
你♥爸♥的法律文件都是我做的
I did all your dad's legal work,
公鸡可以行使代理权
and Rooster has the power of attorney.
所有有关法律和财务的问题
He can act on behalf of your father
他都可以代表你♥爸♥
in regard to all legal and financial matters.
不用我爸同意就能买♥♥牧场吗
We can buy the Peterson ranch with or without my dad's permission?
柯尔特 作为科罗拉多州的持牌律师
Colt, as an attorney licensed in the state of Colorado,
我不能再透露更多了
I am forbidden to disclose any more information.
我有装在一个阿尔塔伊德罐子里的两克蘑菇
I got two grams of mushrooms in an Altoid tin
公鸡在我车上留下的
that Rooster left in my truck.
你哥想怎么处理都行
Your brother can do whatever the hell he wants to.
妈呀
Shit!
我们要买♥♥彼得森牧场了
We're buying the Peterson ranch.
是啊 太好了 听着
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. Now, listen,
那些蘑菇
the 'shrooms...
是墨西哥货还是金齿蜡伞的
are they Mexican or are they golden cap?
我需要知道自己多久回不了办公室
'Cause I gotta know how long I have to be out of the office.
我们要买♥♥彼得森牧场了
We're buying the Peterson ranch.
你嗨了吗
Are you high?
没有 不过我确实欠你一罐神奇蘑菇
No, although I do owe you a tin of magic mushrooms.
听着 我在酒吧跟杰瑞谈过了
Look, I talked to Jerry at the bar.
你可以行使代理权
He says you have power of attorney.
彼得森说过
And then... and then Peterson said
要是我们明天过去签字
if we come over tomorrow and we sign...
那座牧场就是我们的了
that place is ours.
忍♥者飞镖 砰 我们要买♥♥牧场了
Ninja star! Boom! We're doing this!
砰 我们不买♥♥
Boom! No, we're not.
什么 慢着 为什么 你听见我的话了吗
What? Wait, why? Did you hear what I said?
你可以在文件上签字 你就是新老爸
You can sign the papers. Like, you're the new dad.
你这个笨蛋
You're a fucking idiot.
看到吗 多自然啊
See that? You're a natural.
老爸没给我权利做这种事好吗
Colt, Dad did not give me that authority for some shit like this, okay?
他不想买♥♥那座牧场
He said he doesn't wanna buy the ranch.
不 他想买♥♥
No, no, he does!
因为他心脏病犯了 事情才起了变化
It's just that things changed because he had a heart attack.
是这样 老爸是犯了心脏病
Yeah, man, that's right. Dad had a heart attack.
想知道怎么能让他再犯一次吗
Wanna know a great way to give him another one?
就是让他知道我们背着他
Have him come home, find out we went behind his back,
用他所有的钱买♥♥了他不想买♥♥的牧场
spent every penny he had to buy a ranch he don't want.
既然要这么干
You know what, shit, while we're at it,
不如把他的枪全拿去注册了
why don't we just go ahead and register all his guns?
不是 他之前同意买♥♥牧场了
No, man, no. He already bought into this.
他知道铺管道的钱就要进账了
He knows that pipeline money's coming!
他会生气吗 当然会了
Yeah, is he gonna be mad? Yeah, sure. It's like...
就像当初我们把德拉克带回家一样
It's like when we brought home Drake.
他当时说"不许养狗"
He said, "No dogs."
一星期后 狗就成了他最好的朋友
Then within a week, that dog's his best friend.
带它去钓鱼 跟它玩掷球
Takes him fishing, teaches him how to catch a ball.
狗就好像是他最想要的儿子一般
He was like the son he never had.
老爸会杀了咱俩的
Dad would fucking kill us.
我知道你跟我一样渴望买♥♥下这座牧场
Man, come on, I know for a fact that you want this as much as I do.
也许是这样 行了吗
Yeah, maybe I do, all right?
该死 听着
Fuck! Look...
你确认过吗
you checked into all this?
是的 我在回家的路上跟银行的比尔通了电♥话♥
Yeah. I called Bill from the bank on the way home,
他说只要你签字就可以生效了
and he said all you gotta do is sign and it's on.
可是
But,
听着 要是你不愿意签
look, if you don't wanna do it,
我理解
I get it.
天啊 太愚蠢了
Oh, man. It's really stupid.
好吧 就这么办吧
All right, let's do it.
太他妈棒了
Hell, yeah!
我爱你 老哥
Oh, I love you, man!
天啊 放开我
Jesus, dude, get off me.
你还真有新老爸的样
You really are the new dad.
嘿
Hey.
嗨
Hi.
听着 很抱歉之前我对你发了火
Look, I'm, uh, sorry about blowing up at you before.
我有点
I got some...
大事要说 可能会改变一切
big news, kinda changes everything.
我知道目前有三种尺寸的巨无霸汉堡
Colt, I know there are three sizes of Big Macs now
牧场趣事（2016）
The Ranch
剧集 | 牧场趣事（2016） | 导航列表