牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E05

Part 1 June 24, 2021, 11:37 a.m.

我不明白我现在在跟达琳交往
Okay, I don't understand. I'm already dating Darlene.
我为什么要睡谁娶谁或杀谁
Why do I have to fuck or marry or kill anyone?
就是个游戏老兄是假设
It's just a game, man. It's a hypothetical.
看着
Watch.
嘿柯尔特睡嫁杀
Hey, Colt. Fuck, marry, or kill,
选<欢乐再满屋>的卡司
cast of Fuller House.
睡约翰斯塔莫斯嫁鲍勃扎格特杀戴夫库里尔
Fuck John Stamos, marry Bob Saget, kill Dave Coulier.
我说的是女人但
I was talking about the women, but...
就是这么个玩法
that's basically how it goes.
不用假设我也想杀了鲍勃扎格特
I don't need a hypothetical to want to kill Bob Saget.
老妈能上点啤酒吗
Hey, Mom, we get a couple beers?
当然你好吗伯托 - 还好
Of course. How you doing, Berto? - Oh, doing just fine.
可我的新老板挺讨厌的这是假想的
Except my new boss is an asshole. Hypothetically.
我觉得你没明白这个游戏怎么玩
I don't think you understand the game.
我觉得我明白
Oh, I think I do.
有空桌子了
Hey, we're gonna get a table.
要一起坐吗
You wanna join us?
妈啤酒记他俩账上
Mom, if you don't mind, just throw these on their tab, please.
记他俩账上你就妄想吧
Their tab. Talk about hypothetical.
怎么样
How's it goin', fellas?
老兄工作快把我逼疯了
Dude,work's kickin' my ass.
我真想赶紧就到周末
I cannot wait for the weekend.
今天才腾出了喝三瓶啤酒的时间
Only had time to drink three beers today.
你喝了六瓶
You had six.
那些是淡啤我那只是喝水而已
They were light beers. I was stayin' hydrated.
塔尼娅肖沃斯在湖边做什么
Ooh, what's Tanya Showers doin' at the lake?
妈呀她在报道冬泳呢
Oh, shit, man, she's coverin' the Polar Bear Plunge.
太棒了
That's awesome.
每年她都会脱去皮草外衣
Every year, she takes off that fur coat,
只穿着比基尼亮相
and she got nothin' on underneath, but a bikini.
你们记得2014年吗
You guys remember 2014?
那套白色比基尼
The white bikini.
是冬泳活动
It's the Polar Bear Plunge.
冰钓赛也是同一个周末吧
Isn't the ice fishin' tournament the same weekend?
我想是的
Yeah, I think so.
我们也该试试
Shit, we should do it.
高中时我们可是所向披靡
We used to own that thing in high school.
我们可以用我叔叔吉米的钓鱼小屋
We can use my uncle Jimmy's fishin' hut.
接下来的三到五年那里他都不用
I mean, he's not gonna need it for the next three to five years.
取决于他在监狱里的表现
Depending on good behavior.
记得你那次在冰上生火的事吗
Remember when you started that bonfire on the ice?
取到暖了
Oh, man, heat rises.
是啊可我们的车沉了
Yeah, well, our truck sank.
你能下班了吗
Hey, can you get off work?
当然了我可是他妈的老板
'Course I can. I'm the fuckin' boss.
他妈的老板去哪儿我就去哪儿
Hey, and I go where my fucking boss goes.
快看
Oh, oh, check it out.
这里真的是世界上最棒的国家
This is truly the greatest country in the world.
好了做个假设 - 好的
All right... got a hypothetical for you. - All right.
科罗拉多公羊和科罗拉多水牛谁能打赢
Who wins in a fight, Colorado State Ram or the CU Buffalo?
它俩打不起来都是温顺的食草动物
Oh, those two wouldn't fight. They're both docile herbivores.
别讲西班牙语了回答问题
Just quit speaking Spanish and answer the question.
嘿两位
Hey, guys.
你好里奇你认识伯托的 - 当然认识
'Sup, Rich? You know Berto. - Of course.
嘿 - 嘿伯托
Hey. - Hey, Berto.
那晚赶上雪崩队的比赛了吗
Catch the Avalanche game the other night?
赶上了我喜欢冰球
Oh, yeah, I'm like you. I love hockey.
要去钓鱼吗 - 对我们参加了比赛
Goin' fishing? -Yeah, man, we entered the tournament.
有次我弟吐在了冰洞里创了纪录
One year, my brother threw up down the hole... set a record.
谁能想到鳟鱼喜欢吃呕吐物
Who knew? Trout love vomit.
你有好多故事都讲到呕吐的事
You know a lot of your stories involve people throwin' up, right?
我没觉得啊
I don't think so.
也许好笑的里面都有
Yeah, maybe most of the good ones.
我们要给牛装新的追踪系统
Listen, we're putting in a new tracking system for the cows.
好棒
Oh, cool.
你们得给牛装上标签
We need you to tag them,
这样就能用电子监控了
so we can monitor them electronically.
好的
Okay.
要是这会影响你过周末我很抱歉
Sorry if that's gonna cut into your weekend plans.
不会这事周一再做
It's not, man. Get to it on Monday.
问题在于上头想让新系统
Yeah, the thing is, they want the new system
在周日早上9点前就开始工作
up and running by 9:00 a.m. Sunday.
但就你知我知
Okay, but between you and me,
他们怎么会知道
I mean, how are they really gonna know?
那是追踪系统
It's a tracking system.
也是
Right.
要是周末牛群出现在湖边
You think it'll look suspicious
是不是有点可疑
if all the cows are at the lake this weekend?
我知道这叫人不爽可事情摆在这儿
I get it sucks, but it is what it is.
你可以下次再去钓鱼
You can go fishing another time.
不是钓鱼的事
No, I mean, it's not about the fishing.
只是周日早上9点
It's just, like, Sunday, 9:00 a.m.
不就是一个什么随便的日期和时间吗
I mean, that's just an arbitrary time and date, am I right?
是的他们跟我说时我也是这么想的
Yeah. I thought the same thing when they told me.
区别在于我只是想想没说出来
Difference is, I thought it. I didn't say it.
我说的是 "太好了我们会照做的"
What I said was, was, "Great, we will get it done."
猜猜现在我想听你说什么
Guess what I want you to say to me right now.
猜猜现在我想说什么
Guess what I want to say to you right now.
听着里奇
Look, Rich,
别我♥干♥什么你都质疑行吗
you gotta stop questionin' every move I make, okay?
你让我叫已经加了很多班的员工
Now, you want me to ask my already overworked crew
周末再加一整天的班吗
to work a whole 'nother full day this weekend?
那会导致劳累过度并造成事故的
That's when guys get burned out. That's when accidents happen.
你别对我的工作指手画脚
You gotta let me do my job.
好可工作的一部分
Yeah, well, part of the job
就是要听给你发工资的人
is playing ball with the guy who signs your check.
要是我拒绝呢
Okay. Well, what if I say no?
那么他可能就不给你发工资了
Then... he probably won't sign your check.
好吧我来安排
Yeah. All right, fine, I'll get it done.
谢谢公鸡
Thanks, Rooster.
哪天一块儿喝一杯
We should grab a beer some night.
我不太喜欢喝酒但也行
Yeah, I'm not much of a drinker, but okay.
好那我走了
All right, I'm headin' out.
什么天啊
What's... Oh, my God!
是我在幼儿园时画的
Is that the finger paintin' I did in kindergarten
约翰埃尔韦是我爸的那张手指画吗
with John Elway as my dad?
还有我为感恩节做的皱纸火鸡
Oh, and the crepe paper turkey I made for Thanksgiving.
你们把这些一直留着真是太好了
So great you guys kept all this stuff.
那是放废纸的地方
That's the trash pile.
真希望约翰埃尔韦是我爸 - 我也是
Wish John Elway was my dad. - So do I.
好了回头见
All right, I'll see you later.
你喷古龙水了
Is that cologne?
不是是玉兰油
Oh, oh, no. Uh, Oil of Olay.
让我的手像小狗耳朵一样滑
Makes my hands feel like a puppy's ear.
我也希望约翰埃尔韦真是你♥爸♥
I wish John Elway was your dad, too.
记得公鸡四年级时画的通心粉画吗
Remember Rooster's macaroni painting from the fourth grade?
我四年级时帮我爸挖了口井
When I was in the fourth grade, I helped my father dig a well.
他让我进到井里然后说 "学学怎么游泳"
Then he left me in it and said, "Learn how to swim."
好吧扔掉
Okay, trash pile.
这有好多东西
Actually, there's a lot of good stuff in here
可以留给柯尔特的宝宝
that we could give Colt for the baby.
真希望有我能穿的
I wish I had one of those in my size.
我打电♥话♥给杰瑞让他把酒吧挂牌出♥售♥了
I called Jerry to put the bar up for sale.
所以你是真要卖♥♥
So you're really gonna do this?
对我♥干♥够了
Yeah. I'm sick of workin'.
过去15年的每天晚上
Every night for the past 15 years
我都在擦同样的12把脚凳
I've wiped down the same 12 bar stools,
16张桌子和62把椅子
16 tables and 62 chairs,
还有一个恶心的小便池
and one horrifying urinal.
里面什么都有
Guys throw everything in it.