牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E17

Part 1 June 24, 2021, 11:38 a.m.

你不能开除我
You can't fire me.
我也算是合伙人了
I'm a part owner.
不我可从没说过这话
No, I never once said that.
很多小妞都以为我是
Well, a lot of chicks think so, all right,
所以别声张
so keep it to yourself.
抱歉公鸡但酒吧是我仅有的东西了
I'm sorry, Rooster, but this bar is the only thing I have.
我不能失去它
I can't risk losing it.
它就像是我的孩子
It's like my baby.
我才是你真正的孩子
I'm your literal baby.
你觉得我会蠢到失去它吗
I mean, you really think I'm that stupid I'm gonna lose it?
不不是这样的
No, it's not that.
可你以前的手♥机♥都被你弄丢了
Although, you have lost every cell phone you've ever had.
还有六年级时班里的那只蜥蜴
And that sixth grade class iguana.
我还发现这个留在了门上
Oh, and I found these in the door.
不是我的
Those aren't mine.
"如果捡到请归还给公鸡
"If lost, please return to Rooster,
世上最牛叉的人"
the most badass motherfucker in the universe."
我会把它放进失物招领盒里的
I mean, I'll throw it in lost and found.
我是来帮忙的
Look, I came here to help you, all right?
我不会让你失望的
I'm not gonna let you down.
你没让我失望
Oh, sweetie, you're not letting me down.
我用得着雇小孩子扮成精灵
Would I have hired children to dress up as leprechauns
在圣帕特里克节那天给客人上啤酒吗
and serve beer on St. Patrick's Day?
或许用不着
Eh, probably not.
我很高兴你为我这么做了
I love the fact that you did this for me,
但现在是牛的繁殖季
but it's calving season.
牧场真的很需要你
You're really needed at the ranch.
那你呢
Well, what about you?
我之前接管酒吧就是为了让你能抽身而去
The whole reason I took over is so you could get out of here.
我回来得正是时候
Oh, I think it's a good time for me to be back.
我可以帮柯尔特和艾比筹备婚礼
I can help Colt and Abby with the wedding.
下次我再离开时
And when it comes time for me to get back on the road,
我会找人来经营酒吧的
I'll just find somebody to run this place.
那之前你只管往自己嘴里倒酒就行
Until then, the only place you should be pouring alcohol is into your mouth.
该死真是只有妈妈最了解孩子
Damn. No one knows you like your mom.
等等丹佛吗
Wait, so Denver?
你要搬过去吗这怎么行
What, are you gonna move? How's that gonna work?
我不知道我只是想到可能会找到工作觉得高兴而已
I don't know. I'm just excited someone might wanna hire me.
你之前那番激励的话呢
What happened to your pep talk?
那是为了让你找家周围的工作
That's for jobs around here,
就像在必胜客的外送范围内
like in the Pizza Hut delivery zone.
柯尔特只是面试而已
Colt, it's just an interview.
是吗要是你通过了呢
Yeah, yeah, but what if you get it?
我没想那么远
I haven't thought that far ahead.
没想要穿什么
I haven't even thought about what I'm gonna wear.
该死我穿什么
Shit, what am I gonna wear?
告诉对方你不能去面试了
All right, all right. You know, just tell 'em you can't do it.
还有明显你该穿迈克柯尔的那件海军蓝外套
And obviously, your navy Michael Kors jacket
和香蕉共和国的深色牛仔裤
and your dark Banana Republic jeans.
我为什么要说自己不能去面试了
Why would I tell 'em that I can't do it?
那条牛仔裤是周末穿的休闲装
And the Banana Republic jeans are weekend casual,
不是正装
not business forward.
我们就要结婚了
Hey, we're getting married.
要开始一起生活了
Like, we're starting our lives together.
要是你的工作地点开车过去
How are we gonna do that
要六个小时我们怎么办
if you're working six hours away from home?
我们不知道面试结果如何
We don't know what's gonna happen.
如果成了我们就一块儿搬过去
And, if it does happen, we'll move there together.
那好啊
Oh! Oh, yeah, that'd be great.
但愿我们能住一楼的公♥寓♥
I hope we get a first floor condo.
我就不用把牛赶进电梯
That way I don't have to herd my cattle into the elevator
在走廊里给它们喂草了
to take 'em out to graze in the lobby.
所以是因为你的事业
So this is about your career?
没想到它比我的事业还重要
Didn't realize it was more important than mine.
我不是这个意思
I'm not saying that. I just...
我们之前说好在这里开始我们的生活
We agreed to start our lives here.
是吗因为我敢说如果野马队
Really? Because I bet if the Broncos
要签你去当四分卫
offered you a job as their quarterback,
我们就会搬到丹佛去
we'd be moving to Denver.
那可是橄榄球是为国服务
That's football! That's serving your country.
一年前你根本鸟都不鸟这里
Colt, you didn't give a shit about being here a year ago.
我已经当了十年老师了
I've been a teacher for ten years.
自从看了弗里茨小姐从人耳朵里掏出魔法学校校车
It's the only thing I've ever wanted to do
我就只想当老师
since I saw Ms. Frizzle take that Magic School Bus inside the human ear.
那你怎么不在附近找工作
Why can't you just find a job around here?
因为我不知道什么时候才能找到
'Cause I don't know when that's gonna be.
我想自食其力
And I'd like to be able to afford things,
想有医疗保险
like food and health insurance.
要是我怀孕了怎么办
What happens if I get pregnant?
要在牛棚里
What, we're gonna go out to the barn
让你♥爸♥接生吗
and your dad's gonna deliver the baby?
他30年里只失手过两次
I mean, he's only lost two calves in 30 years.
我不想让你这么做
I do not want you to do this.
是你叫我不要放弃当老师的我要去
You're the one who told me not to give up on teaching. I'm going.
我一向都乱讲话
I say stupid shit all the time.
就这次你要听
The one time you're gonna listen...
我之前说
Why didn't you listen when I said
教德拉克拿啤酒你怎么不听
we should teach Drake how to fetch a beer?
有什么能帮你的吗玛姬
So, what can I do for you, Maggie?
我一直在为铺油气管道的事做调研
Well, I've been doing some research on the pipeline.
该死
Ah, fuck.
看一下这张地图
Look at this map.
你知道这些管道刚好从蓝梅萨水库底下经过吗
Do you know that the pipeline runs right under the Blue Mesa Reservoir?
知道他们说到过
Yeah, they mentioned it.
记得我们在这座桥这儿拍照片的事吗
Remember we stopped at this bridge here, to take some pictures?
两个儿子却往横栏杆外尿了尿
Instead, the boys just pissed over the railing.
"看爸爸现在是黄梅萨水库了"
"Look, Daddy, now it's the Yellow Mesa Reservoir."
是啊第二天我们就用给他俩攒的大学学费买♥♥了录像机
Yeah. Next day we cashed in their college funds and bought a VCR.
重点在于有了这条管道
The point is, with this pipeline,
最好的情况是油喷会被报道出来
the best case scenario is a spill that everybody hears about.
但最差的是管道泄漏不为人知
But the worst case is some unseen leak that we don't hear about
直到有人长出第二个脑袋来
till people start to grow a second head.
这样跟你说话的人就会多出一倍
That's twice as many people talking to you, Beau.
你以为油气公♥司♥来找我
You don't think I've been struggling with this
我就不为难了吗
ever since they approached me?
自从我爷爷在这里开了牧场
This land's been in my family
这块地就一直是我家的
ever since my father's father started this place.
而且是的我希望柯尔特有两个脑袋
And yes, I wish Colt did have two heads.
那他就知道他有多烦人了
Then he can finally see how fuckin' annoying he is.
很多人在抗♥议♥铺这条管道
There are a ton of people protesting this pipeline.
我很吃惊你没在其中
I mean, I'm surprised you're not one of 'em.
你不喜欢别人站在你的地界上
You hate having people on your land.
记得那个人口普查员吗
Remember when that census worker came?
你拿着枪去见他说
You met him at the door with a gun and said,
"你可以离开否则人口数就要少一人了"
"You can leave or the population can drop by one."
你考虑这个提议更让我吃惊
I'm surprised you're even considering this.
玛姬我不必跟你解释
Maggie, I don't have to explain myself to you.
这是我的牧场
This is my ranch.
听着情况是这样的
Look, it's just this.
30年里发生过超过九千起油喷事件
In 30 years, there have been over 9,000 pipeline spills,
这还仅仅是在美国
and that's just in the United States.
要是出了什么事
I just know if something goes wrong,
你会内疚的
you won't be able to live with yourself.
我考虑看看行吗
I'll think about it, okay?
好的谢谢
Okay, thanks.
还有件事
Oh, another thing.
公鸡被我开除了所以他会回牧场来
I fired Rooster, so he's coming back here to work.
太好了他回来我很高兴 - 可是
Good. I'll be glad to have him. - But?
没什么可是牧场正需要帮手
No buts. We could use the help.
你是故意这么说的吗
Are you fucking with me?