牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E05

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:37 a.m.

烟口香糖硬币
Cigarettes, gum, pennies.
你们这些男的在干嘛许愿吗
What are they doing, making a fucking wish?
没想到你是真要卖♥♥
Never really thought you'd sell the place.
是啊
Yeah, well,
我也没想到我们真离婚了
I never really thought we'd get divorced.
没想到公鸡会去别的牧场干活
I never thought Rooster would be working another ranch.
事情是会改变的
Things change.
是啊
Yes, they do.
的确如此
Yes, they do.
天啊这是我去上大学时
Oh, my God, here's one of those letters you wrote me
你给我写的信
when I was off at college.
天啊你还留着 - 当然了
God, you kept that? - 'Course I did.
这是你还有颗心的证据
It's evidence you have a heart.
"亲爱的玛姬
"Dear Maggie,
收音机里播了佩茜克莱恩的歌♥
Patsy Cline came on the radio today,
美国著名乡村音乐女歌♥手
让我想起你了
and I thought of you.
你才离开几个星期
I know you've only been gone a few weeks,
感觉却过了好久好久
but it feels like forever.
我留胡子了不知道适不适合
I've taken to growing a mustache. I'm not sure it suits me.
也许一星期后我就把它剃掉
I'll probably shave it off in a week.
没有你在一切都不一样了
Things back here aren't the same without you.
你一回家我们
Once you get home, I...
就再也不分开了"
...know we'll never leave each other's side."
嘿抱歉也许不该读出来
Hey, sorry, probably shouldn't have read that.
不读出来挺好
No, it was nice.
我们打开另一个盒子看看吧
Let's just open another box.
也许我们可以明天再继续
Actually, maybe we could wait till tomorrow to continue this.
我要去个地方
I gotta be somewhere.
不会吧现在都5点半了
What are you talking about? It's 5:30.
你一个半小时后就要上♥床♥睡觉了
You're gonna be in bed in 90 minutes.
我要出去吃晚饭
I'm going out to dinner.
是吗跟谁 - 一个朋友
Oh, really? With who? - A friend.
好吧你只跟牛做朋友居然还吃牛肉
Okay, your only friends are cows, and you eat them.
我要跟布兰达吃晚饭
I'm havin' dinner with Brenda.
好吧你要去约会
Okay. You're goin' on a date.
不只是一起吃晚饭
No, it's just dinner.
虽然要8点才吃
Although we're not eatin'till eight o'clock,
有点莫名其妙
which is ridiculous.
又他妈不是新年除夕夜
It's not fuckin' New Year's Eve.
你要打理一下自己吗
Okay, are you gonna dress up?
我们要去吃查理牛排屋
We're goin' to Charlie's Steakhouse.
出于对牛肉的尊重我会的
So I'll dress up out of respect for the meat.
所以你跟漂亮的单身女人一起吃饭
So you're going out with an attractive single woman
大家以前都觉得你们俩有一腿
who everyone thought you were sleeping with anyway.
这就是约会
It's a date.
我唯一气的就是你不肯承认
The only thing that's pissing me off is you won't just say it.
我跟朋友一起吃晚饭仅此而已
I'm havin' dinner with a friend. End of story.
好吧好好享受你不是约会的约会
Okay. Have fun on your non-date.
希望你有搭配上等腰肉牛排的衬衫
I hope you find a shirt that goes with a porterhouse.
这不是约会
It's not a date.
而且是件衬衫都可以搭配上等腰肉牛排
And every shirt goes with a porterhouse.
我的电♥话♥ - 抱歉
Oh, my phone! - I'm sorry.
你怎么搞的 - 抱歉
Fuck, fuck, fuck, how could you do that? - I'm sorry.
我手涂了润肤霜太滑了
My hands were slippery from my moisturizer.
这就是把手♥机♥给一个职业生涯
I mean, that's what you get for handin' your phone
有117次漏球记录的家伙的下场
to a guy who had 117 career fumbles.
你记着我的数据
Do you just remember my stats
就是为了拿来开涮的吗
so you can make fun of me for 'em?
是的柯尔特正是
Yes, Colt. That's exactly why.
还有希望我们今天抓到328条鱼
By the way, I hope we catch 328 fish today.
那是你的被断球记录
The exact same number as your career interceptions.
也许哪条鱼吞了你的手♥机♥ 我们就能抓到它
Maybe a fish will swallow your phone and we can catch it.
是啊还真有可能
Yeah, maybe.
我又钓上来一条
Oh, guys, I caught another one.
你们就喝吧
Chug your beers.
现在是艾比钓上来七条
That's Abby, seven.
柯尔特公鸡伯托零条
Colt, Rooster, Berto, zero.
喂喂等等
Oh, whoa, whoa, hold on!
我们俩是一队的
We're on a team.
所以是柯尔特加艾比七条
So that's Colt-Abby, seven.
公鸡也是到了七岁才告别尿不湿的
Same age as Rooster was when he got out of diapers.
所以我有消息要宣布
So, uh... I have some news.
反正我知道不是"我钓上来鱼了"
Well, I know it isn't, "I caught a fish."
我买♥♥♥房♥♥子了我现在是业主了
I bought a home. I am a homeowner.
什么
What?
太棒了恭喜 - 谢谢
Man, that's great. Congratulations. - Thanks.
我在提款机上连20块都取不出来
Couldn't get $20 out of the ATM today,
但祝贺你
but that's good for you.
乔迁派对时得好好疯一把
Dude, we are gonna fuck that shit up at the housewarming party.
或者你可以送我盆栽或是烤面包机
Yeah, or instead, you could bring me a potted plant or a toaster.
太令人高兴了房♥子买♥♥在哪儿
This is exciting. Where is it?
一个很被看好的社区
Uh, so, it's in an up-and-coming neighborhood.
往南开
You keep driving south,
等你想锁车门时
and when you get the urge to lock your doors,
就到我家附近了
uh, well, you're near my house.
该死是你的手♥机♥响吗
Oh, shit! Is that your phone?
不是我开的是静音
No, mine's on silent.
而且掉进该死的湖里了
And it's in the fuckin' lake!
喂
Hello?
嘿里奇怎么了
Oh, hey, Rich, what's up?
是正在给牛打标签
Oh, yeah, just tagging the herd right now.
这头是第47号♥
And... cow number 47.
你现在就在牧场
Oh, you're at the ranch, huh?
没看到我
You don't see me?
我在招手呢
Well, I'm wavin'.
不我知道我周一会着手做的
No, I get it, yeah, I'll get to it on Monday.
我说周一就周一
Well, that's when I'm gonna do it,
要是你不喜欢那太遗憾了
so if you don't like that, too bad.
好吧
Okay.
是谁没事吧
Who was that? Everything okay?
打错电♥话♥了
Yeah, yeah. Wrong number.
嘿谁要啤酒
Hey, who wants a beer?
好啊护手霜又滑了
Oh, yeah. Ah! My moisturizer!
这是我头一次见到
I think that's the first salad I've ever seen
没有沙拉的沙拉
without any actual salad.
蔬菜呢
Where are the vegetables?
火腿和培根下面有个小土豆
There's a little potato underneath the ham and bacon bits.
我是该吃得更健康点儿可是
I'm supposed to be eating healthier, but...
我还该给自己所有的枪登记呢
I'm also supposed to register all of my guns.
知道欧几里得那儿新开的高档咖啡店吗
Oh, did you hear about that new fancy coffee shop over on Euclid?
一个大杯咖啡收了我五块钱
They charged me $5 for a large coffee.
而且还摆着小费的罐子
And there was a tip jar.
我跟店里的人说 "各位鱼与熊掌不可兼得"
I told them, "Fellas, it can't be both."
知道我喜欢哪种咖啡吗
You know what kinda coffee I like?
福尔格
Folgers.
是速溶的
It's instant,
等罐子空了
and when you're done with the can,
还可以放旧电池
you can store old batteries in it.
你新养的柯利犬怎么样了
Hey, how's that new collie of yours?
非常棒
Ah, she's great.
就是有天被臭鼬喷上臭液了
Although, the other day, she got sprayed by a skunk.
我把店里的洗发精都试了一遍
I tried every shampoo in the salon.
我花了一百美金为了让它闻起来
Spent a hundred bucks just to make her smell like
像有薰衣草芙蓉味的臭鼬
a lavender-hibiscus skunk.
要除那个臭味只有一招
There's only one way to get rid of that smell.
用番茄汁
You gotta soak 'em in a bath of tomato juice,
双氧水和洗碗剂放在一块儿泡
hydrogen peroxide and dish soap.
真的管用吗 - 在柯尔特身上管用
Does that really work? - Worked on Colt.
我叫他别靠近那个洞
I told him not to go pokin' around in that hole,
可他不听