牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E19

Part 3 June 24, 2021, 11:39 a.m.

但你是怎么把昏睡的人和沙发一起搬出去的呢
But how do you move a passed-out guy on a couch?
看这就是高明之处
Oh, well, you see, that's the genius of it.
柯尔特不知道另外还有张沙发
Colt doesn't know it, but there's a second couch.
昨晚很开心
Last night was fun.
你努力一下还是可以很绅士的嘛
You can be quite the gentleman when you try.
虽然我宿醉太厉害了吃不下这顿早餐
Even this breakfast that I'm too hungover to eat.
好吧我可不这么想
Well, I disagree.
每次你眨眼我都会看你的胸
Every time you blink, I check out your boobs.
比如现在
Right now.
我又看了
Did it again.
你该去检查一下那颗痣
You should get that mole checked.
我得去上班了 - 好的
Oh, I have to get to work. - All right.
要是你不用陪你♥爸♥
But if you don't need to be with your dad...
或许明晚我们可以一起出去
maybe we could hang out tomorrow night.
妈呀是约会吗
Oh, shit, like, on a date?
别小题大做免得我后悔
Please don't make a big deal of this and make me regret it.
好的就这么定了你想干什么
All right. Let's do it. Whatcha thinking?
吃冰淇淋看巨轮卡车拉力赛
Hit up a DQ and a monster truck rally?
好吧我已经在后悔了
Okay, already regretting it.
这个我要拿走这是对女人的不尊重
I am taking this with me. It is degrading to women.
但超舒服
It's also super cozy.
嘿玛姬 -嗨亲爱的
Hey, Maggie. - Hi, sweetie.
嘿博怎么样了
Hey, how's Beau doing?
还是不肯去做进一步检查
Oh, still refusing to go in for more tests.
但精神状态不错
But he was in good spirits, though.
我走的时候他正在看伞兵空降诺曼底
When I left, he was watching paratroopers jump into Normandy.
他说只有打二战
He said that World War II is the only excuse
美国人才该去法国
for an American to go to France.
柯尔特让他看<兄弟连> 妙啊
Colt put on Band of Brothers. Smart.
那才能让博平静下来
For Beau, it's like one of those machines that makes the ocean sounds.
那天晚上事情有点过激了
Things got a little heated the other night.
本奈特先生发心脏病要怪就要怪
Look, if anyone is to blame for Mr. Bennett's heart attack,
查理牛排屋的主厨
it's the chef at Charlie's Steakhouse,
就是他在甜点菜单上写
who put an item on the dessert menu that just says,
"再来块牛排"
"More Steak."
对那家店墙上挂着三张照片
Yeah, they have three pictures up on the wall there.
科罗拉多州州长约翰艾尔韦和博的胡子
The governor of Colorado, John Elway and Beau's mustache.
我知道那不怪我
I know it wasn't my fault.
而且柯尔特只是紧张他爸
And Colt's just upset about his father.
本奈特家的男人着急时就会发脾气
And when the Bennett men get upset, they lash out.
或是消沉或是喝酒
Or shut down. Or drink.
你确定要嫁进这家吗
Are you sure you wanna marry into this family?
我侄子有条船
I have a nephew who owns a fan boat.
还是不打扰你们俩了
I'll let you two talk.
相信我我了解
Trust me, I get it.
我有事一定要跟柯尔特谈
I mean, I have to talk to Colt about something
这事他理解起来会有点困难
and I think he's going to have a tough time understanding.
怎么会要用到数学吗
Oh, why? Does it involve math?
不是我在丹佛找到一份教书的工作
No, I got offered a teaching job in Denver.
祝贺你
Wow, congratulations.
你打算怎么办 - 我不知道
Oh, what are you gonna do? - I don't know.
我之前去面试就让他很不安了
I mean, he freaked out when it was just the interview.
我并不是说要跟他谈很容易
Look, I'm not saying it's going to be easy,
但就算谈得不顺利
but it's better to have a difficult conversation
也好过闭口不谈
than not have one at all.
我知道只是
I know. I just...
我得选好时机
I have to pick the best time.
我觉得最好选在
I think it's somewhere between when SportsCenter ends
<体育新闻>的播放间隙
and SportsCenter starts back up again.
他小时候如果我有坏消息要告诉他
When I had to give bad news to Colt when he was a kid,
我都会给他买♥♥大联盟口香糖
I'd always buy him a pack of Big League Chew first.
你喜欢这个口香糖吗孩子
You like that gum, buddy?
老爸除草时不小心把你的猫轧死了
Dad ran over your cat with the riding mower.
昨晚我跟沙琳看了<灵异第六感>
Last night, Charlene and I watched that movie, The Sixth Sense.
就是那部结尾时
You know, the one where at the end,
才发现原来布鲁斯威利斯从一开始就已经死了的电影
it turns out Bruce Willis was dead the whole time.
没看过
Never seen it.
你应该看看结局太出乎意料了
Oh, you ought to watch it. It's got a hell of a surprise ending.
很多人都不喜欢他
You know, a lot of people hate him,
可我喜欢导演M奈特沙马兰
but I just love that M. Night Shyamalan.
我经常想"M"代表什么
I often wonder what that "M" stands for.
在我看来是"牛掰的电影制♥作♥人"
As far as I'm concerned, it means "Motherfucking good filmmaker."
这样吧戴尔新规矩
You know what, Dale? New rule.
如果我不能喝酒你就不能说话
If I can't drink, you can't talk.
我觉得这故事很不错戴尔
Well, I thought it was a great story, Dale,
可没解答我的问题
but it didn't answer my question.
抱歉乔安妮问题是什么来着
I'm sorry, Joanne, what question was that?
你不觉得博该去医院吗
Don't you think Beau should go to the hospital?
对也许他们只想做个血管造影
Oh, yeah. Yeah. They probably just wanna do an angiogram.
往心脏里插探头还真自然
Yeah, they stick a camera in your heart. That's real natural.
还有我肯定中情局在监视着
Plus, I'm sure the fucking CIA is watching.
没什么大不了的
It's no big deal.
我身上的每个洞都插过探头
I've had a camera shoved up every hole in my body.
我的内脏比卡戴珊一家被拍的次数还多
My insides have been photographed more often than the Kardashians.
我想我该走了
Well, I reckon I better go.
见到你很高兴戴尔 - 我也是
Well, it's good to see you, Dale. - You, too.
去医院吧
Go to the hospital.
不然我来给你做检查
Otherwise, I'm gonna examine you.
看马屁♥股♥我可是很有经验的
I've got a lot of experience looking at a horse's ass.
再见戴尔
Bye, Dale.
也许回家的路上
Maybe on your way home,
你可以停车想几个新笑话出来
you can stop off and pick up some new jokes.
大家都很担心你
Everybody's just looking out for you.
我怎么觉得我又要被教育了
Why do I have the feeling I'm about to hear another speech?
不会你是个成年人可以自行决定
No speech. You're a grown man. You can make your own decisions.
谢谢
Thank you.
当然了这话是违心的照我的话做
Of course, I don't mean that. Do what I fucking tell you.
我说真的
I'm serious.
跟你在一起越久失去你就会越伤心
The longer we're together, the more it would hurt to lose you.
要是你跟我在一起时心脏病犯了
And if you have a heart attack around me,
我就会开着我的雪佛兰送你去医院
I'm driving your ass to the hospital in my Chevy.
太好了
Good.
或许他们可以用起搏器救我和你的车
Maybe they can use the defibrillator to jump-start me and your truck.
下班后我去了趟酒吧
After work, I, uh, swung by the bar...
跟你妈聊了聊
and talked to your mom.
为什么
Why?
因为你的话让她真的很伤心
Uh, 'cause what you said really hurt her.
无所谓了
Whatever.
无所谓真的吗
Whatever? Really?
你妈可是一直都在帮你
Your mom has always been there for you.
想想吧
Come on. Who was there
你在牛仔竞技场里裸奔被捕是谁帮你的
when you got busted for streaking at the rodeo?
还有你在商场里开儿童火车撞进太阳眼镜店的时候
Or when you crashed that kiddie train at the mall into the Sunglass Hut?
还有你在宜家里喝醉酒
How about that time you got so drunk in the IKEA
吐在艾德伯夫肯里那次
and you threw up in the Edeboviken?
说洗脸池不行吗
Why can't you just call it a sink?
我能叫出艾德伯夫肯干吗要说是洗脸池
Why would I call it a sink, when I can call it an Edeboviken?
听着
Look...
之前你从外面回来时
when you came back to the family,
你♥爸♥并不待见你
you were basically dead to your dad.
但你妈敞开心欢迎你
But your mom, she welcomed you back with open arms.
不管你做什么
There is nothing that you could do
她都不会不管你
that would ever make her turn her back on you.
也许她人比我好
Maybe she's just a better person than I am.
她人当然比你好
Oh, she's definitely a better person than you.
但这不代表你坏到
But that doesn't mean you're so bad
不能去找她谈谈做出挽回
that you can't at least talk to her and try and fix it.
好吧也许之前我太苛刻了
All right. Maybe I came across a little harsh.
好吧那我说对了因为我就是对的
Okay, so I'm right? 'Cause I am.
你可以说 "艾比你是对的"
You know you can say it. "Abby, you're right."