牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E02

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:36 a.m.

你那个疯狂的女朋友
Your batshit-crazy girlfriend showed up at the house
拿着枪来了打碎了我们卡车的玻璃
with a shotgun, blew the windows out of our truck.
她为什么要那么干
Why the hell she do that?
还有那挺性感的
Also, that's kinda super hot.
她当时穿的是美国国旗比基尼吗
What was she wearing? American flag bikini?
是啊
Yeah.
她知道海瑟怀孕的事了
She found out Heather was pregnant,
所以在这冷死人的冬天里
so in the dead of winter,
她穿着比基尼把车玻璃打碎了
she put on a bikini to come shoot the windows out the truck.
该死老兄
Oh, shit, dude.
她会因为我没告诉她
She is gonna be so pissed at me
海瑟怀孕的事而气疯的
for not telling her about Heather.
是啊你的处境真是太糟了
Yeah, this whole situation just really sucks for you.
有什么我能帮忙的吗
Is there anything I can do to help?
我知道你是在说反话给我瓶啤酒
I know you're being sarcastic, but pass me a beer.
还有更糟心的事儿
Gets worse.
海瑟要把孩子打掉
Heather's gettin' a bortion.
好吧躲过一劫
Well, dodged a bullet.
不我想让她把孩子留下
No, I want her to keep it.
我觉得流产是不对的
I think bortion's wrong.
不我听见你说的了
Yeah, no, I hear ya.
等等等一下
Wait. Hang on a second.
你说的是流产吗
Are you saying... "Bortion"?
是的我反对流产
Yeah. I'm anti-bortion.
你笑什么
What are you laughing at, man?
不好笑
There ain't nothing funny about bortions.
不你说得对抱歉
No, dude, you're right. Uh, sorry about that.
我是说你们有谈到
Um, I mean, did you guys ever maybe talk
要把孩子送去让人 "羚羊"吗
about putting the kid up for... doption?
是领养
It's "Adoption."
应该是堕胎而且你是个笨蛋
It's "Abortion" And you're a dumbass.
随你怎么说吧
Whatever.
我要想想怎么跟艾比说
I just gotta figure out how I'm gonna tell Abby.
告诉艾比你说什么呢
Tell Abby? What you talking about?
什么都别告诉她
You ain't gonna tell Abby shit.
就当没这回事
You just got away with it, dude.
你觉得我每次醉驾回家
You think every time I drive drunk I get home
会给警♥察♥打电♥话♥吗不会
and I call the cops? No.
我停车把撞翻的信箱捡起来
I pull over, I pick up the mailbox I just knocked over,
扔上车继续开
throw it in my trunk and I keep moving.
要是她从别人那里知道了
Yeah, but if she finds out from someone else,
只会更糟
it's gonna be worse.
谁会告诉她
Who the hell's gonna tell her?
这是个小镇藏不住秘密
It's a small town, man. People find out shit.
你认识蒂娜吗沃尔格林药店那个 - 认识
You know Tina Reynolds? Walgreens? - Yeah. Yeah.
她知道海瑟买♥♥了测孕试纸
She knows Heather got a pregnancy test.
那不代表谁会说什么
Doesn't mean anybody's gonna tell anybody about anything.
我在那儿买♥♥超大号♥保险套
Look, dude, I've been buying extra-large condoms
好几年了
at that place for years.
还是什么谣言都没起
Still can't get that rumor started.
嘿博
Hey, Beau.
嘿乔安妮很高兴见到你
Hey, Joanne. Good to see you.
你怎么来了
What brings you by?
我要跟女儿和外孙女
Well, I'm going on a two-week cruise
坐游轮去旅行两星期
with my daughter and my granddaughter
想跟你借望远镜
and I was wondering if I could borrow your binoculars.
我的博士能吗
My Bushnells?
拿抵押来
Gonna need some collateral.
好吧
Oh. Well, okay.
这是我家钥匙
Here are the keys to my house.
你可以去收信喂猫
You can take in the mail and feed the cat.
你想让我拿它喂什么
What do you want me to feed it to?
既然你要去旅行
Christmas with your daughter must've gone well
就说明圣诞节过得很愉快
if you're taking a trip.
是啊我非常高兴
Yeah, I'm excited.
我从来没坐过游轮你呢
I never went on a cruise before. Have you?
坐过一次
Once.
湄公河三角洲
The Mekong Delta.
给
Here you go.
谢谢
Thanks.
嘿你要是没什么事
Hey, if you don't have anything to do,
我刚做了一锅肉酱
I just made a pot of chili.
好啊味道不赖
Oh, yeah. Sure. That smells good.
你用的什么秘料红辣椒吗
What's your secret ingredient? Paprika?
两罐霍梅尔鸡肉罐头和盐
Two cans of Hormel and salt.
配玉米面包加奥美拉唑(一种胃药)正好
That would go good with a side of cornbread and Prilosec.
当外祖母是什么感觉
So, what's it like being a grandmother?
感觉好极了
Oh, it is so great.
孙子孙女们就像雪上摩托
Grandkids are like snowmobiles.
你不会想买♥♥回家
You... you don't really wanna own one,
但周末借来开开还挺有意思的
but it's really fun to borrow one for the weekend.
你节日过得怎么样
How was your holiday?
这个嘛说来话长
Well, that's kind of a long story.
那就说简单点儿
Hmm. Well, just give me the short version.
那年在湄公河三角洲过的圣诞节更好
I had a better Christmas on the Mekong Delta.
哦天啊出什么事了
Oh, my. What happened?
我不想说
I don't wanna talk about it.
好吧
Okay.
那就告诉我等我从游轮旅行回来时
But just tell me this, uh, when I get back from my cruise,
会不会发现你死了
am I gonna find you dead in this house,
脸埋在一碗肉酱里
face down in a bowl of chili
而电视上正播着比尔奥莱利
with Bill O'Reilly on the TV?
要是我走运的话
If I'm lucky.
我们坐下吧
Let's sit.
我觉得你
You know, Beau, I think you're
对孤单和悲惨上瘾
addicted to being alone and miserable.
不是这么回事
Oh, that's not true.
只有一个人的时候我才不悲惨
The only time I'm not miserable is when I'm alone.
你有朋友吗有不讨厌的人吗
Do you have any friends? Anybody you don't hate?
我跟药店的比尔是好朋友
Well, I'm pretty good friends with Bill down at the pharmacy.
虽然我不确定我有没有自己想的那么了解他
Though I'm not sure I know him as well as I thought.
要知道你
You know, you...
你不能这么活下去了
you can't live like this.
你要出去多认识些人需要有人陪伴
You gotta go out and meet people. You need some companionship.
你是说出去约会吗
Are you talking about dating?
不你才刚离婚还很混乱
Oh, hell no. You just got divorced. You're a mess.
可我倒挺想让你
Although, I do like the idea of you
现在就建个交友档案
filling out a dating profile right now.
喜欢的东西牛排和威士忌
Likes? Steak and whiskey.
不喜欢的不喜欢牛排和威士忌的人
Dislikes? People who don't like steak and whiskey.
完美的约会有牛排和威士忌
Perfect date? Going out for steak and whiskey.
那你明白现在为什么不是完美的约会了吧
So you can see how this isn't the perfect date then.
我说的是出去玩玩
I'm just talking about going out and having some fun.
我不出去玩
I don't do that.
我知道
I know.
你不喜欢改变但你阻止不了改变
You don't like change, but change is coming to you.
所以你要做点什么
So you gotta do something.
去教堂或是打保龄球我不知道
Church or bowling or, I don't know,
去海外作战退伍军人协会跳跳广场舞
go to the VFW hall, do a little square dancing.
我想跳的时候会想怎么跳就怎么跳
I'll dance when I want in the shape that I want.
嘿亲爱的
Hey, baby.
我在肯德基买♥♥了点东西
Look who stopped off at the Colonel.
你知道你那个混♥蛋♥弟弟
Did you know that your shithead brother
搞大我蠢蛋女儿肚子的事吗
knocked up my dumbass daughter?
什么
What?
我不知道
That is news to me.
要烤的还是炸的
You want grilled or crispy?
你只有一次机会说实话
Rooster, you have one chance to tell me the truth
否则你的下场就会跟你的车一样
or you are gonna look like your truck.
你动了我的车什么
You did something to my truck? What?