牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E12

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:38 a.m.

你还得把他们拉开
and you have to pull them apart.
办婚礼的钱有点不够用
Money's already tight with all the wedding stuff.
我们请不起摄影师
We can't afford a videographer,
所以我们要让警车停在通道里
so we're gonna park a cop car at the end of the aisle
用车辆记录仪拍
and use a dashcam.
我们就是为这个才来的
That's actually why we're here.
我想知道你店里要不要人帮忙
I was wondering if you needed any help.
我可以当酒保服务员什么都行
I could be a bartender, a waitress, anything.
好吧
Yeah, uh...
我想我这儿请不起"合法居民"
I'm not sure I really have it in the budget to hire a "Legal resident."
抱歉当我没问
I'm sorry. Forget I asked.
我无意为难你
I didn't mean to put you on the spot.
接下来该去哪儿冰雪皇后
Where should we go next? Dairy Queen?
不那里要做背景调查的
No. They do background checks.
知道吗
Hey, you know what?
管他呢帮不上朋友忙还开哪门子酒吧
Fuck it. What's the point of owning a bar if you can't help out your friends, right?
我请你当服务员 - 真的吗
Look, I'll take you on as a waitress. - Seriously?
是的有美女撑店面对生意又没坏处
Yeah. No business was ever hurt hiring a hot girl, you know.
猫头鹰餐厅幸运轮脱衣舞俱乐部
Hooters, Wheel of Fortune, strip clubs.
谢谢天啊
Thank you! Oh, my God!
嘿啤酒桶嘿妮基你们好吗
Oh, hey, Beer Pong. Hey, Nikki. What's up, guys?
我现在在这儿上班
I work here now.
真的吗太好了能给我瓶啤酒吗
Really? That's cool. Can I get a beer?
当然
Uh, sure.
我是要新开的但无所谓了
I meant a new one, but whatever.
公鸡你太够意思了
Man, Rooster, this is really cool of you.
我这周末去托马斯瑞德演唱会做安保
Hey, I'm doing security at the Thomas Rhett concert this weekend.
你想进后台吗
You want backstage passes?
等等真的艾比爱死托马斯瑞德了
Whoa! Hold on. Seriously? Abby loves Thomas Rhett.
那我带艾比去看
Oh, cool, I guess I'll be taking Abby to the concert.
别这样嘛
Come on, man. The...
你们别说出去
All right, y'all gotta keep this a secret,
但我最近在考虑怎么跟艾比求婚
but I've been racking my brain for ways to propose to Abby...
天啊 - 你要求婚
Oh, my God! - You're proposing?
天啊恭喜了老弟
Whoa, dude! Congrats, bro.
别担心我什么都不会说的
Hey, don't worry, I won't say nothing to nobody.
还有反正我的朋友们
Plus, all my friends,
也不关心你
I know they don't give a shit about you anyway, so...
太完美了因为我要做
This is perfect. 'Cause I'm gonna do
我在肯尼切斯尼演唱会上看过的事
what I saw this guy do at the Kenny Chesney concert.
有人给肯尼递了张字条
Apparently, he handed Kenny a note,
肯尼就请他上台让他跟女朋友求婚
and then Kenny brought him up on stage to propose to his girlfriend.
太浪漫了
That's so romantic.
是啊可女方拒绝了
Yeah, she said no.
我可以在后台给托马斯字条
Hey, uh, I can give Thomas the note when I meet him backstage.
票你自己买♥♥ 老兄公鸡我们还欠你个人情
Tickets are yours, dude. Rooster, we still owe you one.
是吗是多大的人情啊比如酒驾或
Yeah? How much of one, like a DUI or...
杀人
kill a guy?
如果我第一个到现场
Hell, if I'm the first one on the scene,
你想怎样就怎样
you could do whatever you want.
搞什么
What the hell?
嘿戴尔我以为你明天才来
Hey, Dale, I thought you weren't coming by until tomorrow.
我还以为咱俩是朋友呢
And I thought we were friends.
要是让你那样误会了很抱歉
Well, if I gave you that impression, I'm sorry.
看到没我习惯被你当面寒碜了
Now, see, I'm used to you insulting me to my face.
可我不喜欢你背地里嚼舌根
What I don't like is you gossiping behind my back
就像<橘子郡主妇真人秀>里的维姬
like you're Vicki from The Real Housewives of Orange County.
你说什么呢
What the hell are you talking about?
布兰达告诉沙琳
Brenda told Charlene
说你觉得我疯了
that you think my cheese has slid off my cracker.
她干什么
She did what?
她说你跟大家说我太老了
She says you're going around telling folks that I'm senile.
我可没那么说过
I've never said you're senile.
我确实说过你眼神听力都不好
I've said you're blind. I've said you're deaf.
说过你像牛仔竞技小丑
I've said you dress like a rodeo clown.
那到底是怎么回事
Then what the hell happened?
我注意到你总重复自己说的话
Well, I... I noticed you were repeating yourself a lot.
布兰达也注意到了
And so did Brenda.
这就跟你尿两次才能尿干净一样
Well, that's no more Brenda's business than it's Charlene's business
跟布兰达没多大关系我这样跟沙琳也没多大关系
that you stop twice as often to take a piss as you used to.
我现在喝水更多
I'm drinking more water now.
胡扯你前列腺都跟嘴一样不把边了
Bullshit. You have a prostate as big as your mouth.
你说完了吗 - 怎么
Are you finished? - Why?
你要去小便吗
You gotta go take a pee, Beau?
知道吗我不会再为你操心了
All right, you know what? I'm gonna stop worrying about you.
就算你摔倒死在我家门廊上我也谁都不告诉
You can drop dead on my porch, I won't tell a damn soul.
太好了 - 很好
Good! - Fine!
我一两天后再来给德拉克做检查
I'll come back in a day or so and check on Drake,
我还会带白葡萄酒来
and I'll bring a bottle of Chardonnay
好让你跟你的女性朋友们分享
so you can share with your gal pals.
要是你找不到自己的车就点烟火信♥号♥♥
Send up a flare if you get lost walking back to your truck.
我会回来给德拉克做检查的
I'll be back in a couple of days to check on Drake.
戴尔 - 这可不是重复
Dale... - And that is not a repeat,
是确认一下
that is a confirmation!
嘿
Hey.
我昨晚不是想让你难堪
Look, I didn't wanna put you on the spot last night...
但老爸把老妈的婚戒给了我让我给艾比
but Dad gave me Mom's ring to give to Abby.
当时真的很感人我们爷俩紧紧拥抱
Got real emotional. We had a big hug.
我觉得他会给我买♥♥把刀但无所谓了
I think he's gonna buy me a sword, but whatever.
我想知道
I just, uh, wanna make sure
你不会介意因为你是长子
you're cool with it since you're the older brother.
没事完全不介意
Yeah, it's totally fine.
等艾比拒绝时我再拿回来
I'll just take it when she says no.
妮基这些啤酒是那边那对情侣的
Hey, Nikki, these two beers are for that couple over there.
又来天啊他俩隔半小时就叫酒
Again? God, it's like every half hour with them.
抱歉我必须接这个电♥话♥
Oh, uh... Sorry, I have to take this.
是关于婚礼的汉克能帮下忙吗
It's wedding stuff. Hank, you mind?
好的
Uh, okay.
嘿亲爱的 - 嗨
Hey, baby. - Hi.
公鸡给我来瓶啤酒
Rooster, can I get a beer?
好的免费赠送
Yes, you may, and it's on the house.
原因你我都知道
I think we both know why.
我会付钱的
I'll pay.
说起来荒唐
Listen, you're not gonna believe this,
我不能去看演唱会了
but I can't go to the concert.
什么怎么了
What? Why?
有场流星雨
Well, there's a meteor shower,
我忘了我跟天文俱乐部说过
and I forgot that I told the astronomy club
我们要去橄榄球场宿营看的
that we'd camp out and watch it from the football field.
我很抱歉
I'm so sorry.
好吧艾比
Okay. Abby,
首先天文俱乐部
first off all, the astronomy club
去橄榄球场搞什么
on the football field? What the fuck?
你别去了 - 不行我不能不去
You gotta bail on that! - No, I can't.
我得说话算话
I promised these kids and I'm gonna honor it.
所以我才当老师的
This is the reason why I became a teacher.
也许哪个学生将来回想起这段会说
This might be one of the moments where a student looks back on this and says,
"我就是在那时决定了要去念大学"
"That's when I decided to go to college."
"改变自己人生的"
"That's when I changed my life."
比利能让我们进入后台
Okay, Billy got us backstage passes.
我们能当面见到托马斯瑞德 - 去那些孩子们的
We get to meet Thomas Rhett. - Fuck the kids!
我能当面见到托马斯瑞德
What... I get to touch Thomas Rhett?
还能跟你最爱的男朋友在一起
Yeah, and spend quality time with your boyfriend, who you love.
是啊随便了
Yeah, whatever.
他们又要了两瓶啤酒
They need two more beers.
谢谢几星期后见 - 好的
Thank you. See you in a few weeks. - Okay.
嘿梅丽莎
Hey, Melissa.
真是令人愉快的惊喜
Hey, this is a nice surprise.
我正要去饲料店
Well, I had to go to the feed store,
顺路来看看
so I thought I'd stop by.