牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E13

Part 3 June 24, 2021, 11:38 a.m.

No, it did not go well.
酒吧要停业三天
Gotta shut down the bar for three days.
这下代价大了
It's gonna cost me a shit ton of money.
顺便跟你说半个冰淇淋你要给我七块钱
By the way, you owe me $7 for your half of the DQ.
天啊停业很遗憾亲爱的 - 可不是嘛
God! Shut down? I'm sorry, sweetie. - Yeah.
为什么我要被罚
Why am I getting punished, huh?
小生意业主我可是美国的脊梁
I'm a small business owner, you know. The backbone of America.
我今年本打算交税的
I was gonna pay my taxes and everything this year.
知道吗去它的
Well, you know what? Fuck that!
避税很酷
Yeah, tax evasion is awesome, honey,
可你只是心烦
but I think you're just upset.
因为我没做错什么
Yeah, because I didn't do anything wrong.
好吧可你的确卖♥♥酒给未成年人了
Okay, well, um, you did serve a minor.
我怎么知道
How am I supposed to know?
20岁的小女孩胸才不会那么大
Those are not the boobs of a 20-year-old.
这借口上了庭
I don't think the boob defense
可站不住脚
is gonna hold up in court.
杰瑞也是这么说的
Yeah, Jerry said the same thing.
你应该
I'm just saying it wouldn't kill you
为自己的行为负责
to take responsibility for your actions sometimes.
玛丽不是我的错
Mary, I'm not gonna take responsibility
我才不负责
for something that's not my fault.
就是这样从来都不是你的错
Yeah, but see, that's the thing. It is never your fault.
之前离开牧场时
You know, you left your family ranch.
你说 "我爸是混♥蛋♥"
You said, "My dad's an asshole."
"他不肯听我的" - 嗯哼
"He wouldn't listen to me." - Mmm-hmm.
被诺伊曼山开除时你说 "老板是混♥蛋♥"
You got fired from Neumann's Hill. "My boss is an asshole."
"规矩太多" - 嗯哼
"He had too many rules." - Mmm-hmm.
超速被罚时
Yeah. Then you got a speeding ticket.
你说警♥察♥是混♥蛋♥
You said the cop's an asshole
因为他嫉妒你的发型
'cause he was jealous of your hair.
的确是啊他是个秃顶的混♥蛋♥
He was. He was a bald fucking asshole.
就是这样你没错从来都没有
Exactly. It's never your fault, ever.
我来找你
I didn't come over here to have you
不是为了像孩子似的被你训
lecture me like I'm one of your kids.
那就别表现得像个孩子 - 我没有知道我是怎么知道的吗
Quit acting like one. - I'm not. You know how I know?
我没把孩子当果酱馅饼一样扔出去
I'm not shooting out babies like Pop-Tarts.
你搞什么飞机
Are you fucking kidding me?
我不想被你教训
You know what, I don't need this shit.
我自己看<单身汉>
I'm gonna go home and watch Bachelor by myself.
他在豪华套房♥里跟布莱特妮P搞上了
He ends up hooking up with Britney P. in the fantasy suite.
你真禽兽
You're a monster.
嘿我问你点事老爸
Hey, let me ask you something, Dad.
那事能怪我 - 是的
Do you think it was my fault... - Yes.
酒吧被勒令停业是我的错吗
Do you think it was my fault the bar got busted?
你能猜一下我的回答吗
Can you guess what my answer's gonna be?
老爸是他们设计我 - 公鸡
Yeah, but, Dad, they set me up... - Rooster.
你妈开那间酒吧十五年了
Your mother ran that bar for 15 years.
从没停业过
Never once got shut down.
不对有一次卫生间发水那次
Well, that's not true. One time, the bathroom flooded.
那次也是你的错
That also was your fault.
你们好啊 - 嘿珍
Hello? - Hey, Jen.
嗨抱歉打断你们
Hi. Sorry to interrupt.
我敲过前门了可没人应
I was knocking on the front door, but nobody answered.
够了我要把前门封起来
That's it. I'm boarding that thing up.
要喝啤酒什么的吗
Hey, can I get you a drink? You want a beer or something?
我开车来的 - 那
I'm driving. - Oh, so, like,
你要带走喝还是
you want a to-go cup, or...
不用了谢谢
I'm fine. Thank you.
我来是因为有些好消息
I actually stopped by because I have some good news.
在你跟我说彼得森不同意之后
After you told me Peterson was out,
我跟工程师们谈了一下
I talked to my engineers
他们给你家的地拍了卫星照片
and they took satellite images of your land.
我们一眼就注意到了你家的牲口棚
First thing we noticed is that on the roof of your barn,
棚顶上面喷着"去你的俄♥国♥佬"
it says, "F you, Russia."
之后
After that,
我们发现了一条旧土路
we found that there's an old dirt road
通到这间外屋
that leads to this outbuilding.
之前勘测时没发现这两点
Neither was on the original survey we had.
那不是外屋
Oh, yeah. That's not an outbuilding.
是我现在住的狩猎小屋
That's the hunting cabin. That's where I live.
非常酷
It's pretty badass.
纯朴粗犷有点像我
It's rustic, rugged. It's kinda like me.
你是柯尔特还是小鸡
Which one are you? Colt or Chicken?
他是小鸡
He's Chicken.
我一直以为这是条小道不是马路
I never thought of this thing as a road. It's more like a trail.
我们只需要许可
All we need is permission
把路拓宽好让卡车在上面行驶
to widen it a little bit so the trucks can use it.
现在老爸需要我的许可了
Oh. Now Dad needs my permission, huh?
当然许可了
Which you have.
这条是地界线吧
This red line is the property line, right?
嗯
Mmm-hmm.
所以这片树丛在我家这边 - 是的
So this grove of trees is on my side. - Yes.
这漂亮的花岗岩和页岩沉积层也是
So is this wonderful granite and shale deposit.
你或许不在乎但对地理学家来说这就是色情杂♥志♥啊
You probably don't care, but that's like porn for geologists.
狗♥娘♥养♥的
Son of a bitch.
彼得森当年就把鹿站建在树丛那里
That grove of trees is where Peterson put that deer stand.
三十年了他一直说我弄错了
For 30 years, he's been telling me I was wrong,
但我是对的
but here it is. I was right.
谁在乎呢现在不用管彼得森了
Hey, who cares? We don't need Peterson anymore.
管道和钱都是我们的
We can get the pipeline. And the pipeline money.
那剩下的问题就是
Which just leaves one question.
珍你喜欢浮艇吗
Hey, Jen, how do you feel about a pontoon boat?
不怎么感冒小鸡
Not a big fan, Chicken.
该死的小鸡
Fucking Chicken.
嘿老爸 - 早啊
Hey, Dad. - Morning.
在忙吗 - 是的
You busy? - Yep.
好吧
Okay.
听着柯尔特我现在心情不错
Look, Colt, I'm in a good mood.
到卖♥♥牛季了
It's calving season.
我们有一群健康有身孕的牛
We've got a pasture full of healthy, pregnant cows.
等会儿我要拿着这个去找彼得森
And later, I'm gonna take this over to Peterson,
卷紧了塞进他屁♥股♥里
roll it up tight and shove it up his ass.
那至少我们俩有一个人开心
Well, at least one of us is happy.
我当然希望自己开心
Sure wish I was.
我现在就可以把这东西卷紧了
You know, I can roll this thing up tight right now.
你想干嘛
What do you want?
外公喜欢你吗
Did Mom's dad like you?
爱啊怎么会不爱我为国上过战场
Yeah, he loved me. Why wouldn't he? I served my country.
生意经营得很成功
You know, I ran a successful business.
给了他女儿安全稳定的家
I provided a safe and stable home for his daughter.
是啊 - 艾比老爸不喜欢你?
Right. - Abby's dad's not a fan?
他会一直反对
He's gonna fight this thing
我跟艾比在一起的
with me and Abby the whole way.
是啊
Yeah.
很遗憾他不像我是个和蔼开明的老爸
It's too bad he's not a warm, open-minded father like me.
那你希望这事怎么收场
How do you want this thing with her dad to end?
我希望是在他临终前
I was hoping it'd end with him on his deathbed,
他把我叫到床边低声对我说
calling me over, and whispering in my ear...
谢谢你照顾艾比
Thank you for taking care of my daughter.
还有我想把那辆1966年款的锃新的雪佛兰科尔维特车给你
By the way, I wanna give you my cherry '66 Stingray.
理想情况是这就发生在下周
And ideally, that would happen next week.
柯尔特
Colt...
我之前请他来吃晚饭
I invited him over for dinner.
他甚至来都没来
He didn't even bother to come.
我还买♥♥了
And I bought that,
很贵的喷雾奶酪
you know, that expensive spray cheese.
是布里干酪味的我还以为那是法语里的奶酪
It's, like, brie-flavored. I think that's French for cheese.
这显然能弥补多年来你猪一样的表现
That clearly makes up for years of you acting like a dipshit.
最糟糕的是这让艾比很难受
I mean... The worst part is it's killing Abby.
我一直在想办法