牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E07

Part 3 June 24, 2021, 11:37 a.m.

不我们不能放弃
No. We're not giving up!
我们要去听演唱会
We're going to this concert.
花40块买♥♥件不合身
We're gonna buy a $40
也永远不会穿的T恤
ill-fitting T-shirt that we're never gonna wear.
我们会玩得很开心的
We're gonna have fucking fun.
有史以来最棒的生日
Best birthday ever.
这么说还真有用
Oh, that really helps.
对不起我就喜欢
I'm sorry, I love being
暴风雪时被困在这辆车里
stuck in this snowstorm in this fucking truck.
加斯布鲁克斯真棒
Garth Brooks! Whoo-hoo!
真的吗
Really?
什么
What?
你要在这儿抽烟吗
You're gonna do that in here?
抱歉我没听到
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't hear that.
你嘴里那一大坨让你动不动就得吐痰的烟草
Maybe that huge wad of tobacco in your mouth
让你口齿不清了
that makes you spit every ten seconds got in the way.
你又得吐痰了是吗
You really need to spit, don't you?
不是
Nope.
你这样更恶心了
You somehow made it more disgusting.
至少我不会吸进去
Well, at least I ain't gotta breathe it in.
够了
Stop it!
我把烟都吐出窗外了
I'm blowin' it out the window!
把你那边的车窗关上柯尔特
Roll your window up, Colt!
把你手里的烟掐了 - 天啊
Put out your cigarette out. - My God.
你让我在生日这天过得好悲惨
You're making me miserable on my birthday.
是你自己弄得
No, you're making you miserable on your birthday.
你让我得肺气肿了
You're giving me fucking emphysema!
谢谢
Thank you.
别客气
Yeah, you're welcome.
好吧那间餐馆离这儿多远
All right, fine. How far is the restaurant?
就在那儿已经看到招牌了
It's right there. You can see the sign.
位智显示
Waze says we'll be there in...
45分钟就到了
45 minutes.
好吧我只有一个问题
All right, I only have one question.
你怎么没出名
Why the hell aren't you famous?
有一年拿到了<明日之星>的第二名
Came in second on Star Search one year.
本来能拿第一的可是
Would have come in first but... Ooh!
有个十二岁的孩子会玩杂耍
Twelve-year-old can juggle.
我有过机会
I had my chance.
签了唱片合约跟威利尼尔森巡演
I got a record deal, went on tour with Willie Nelson.
是吗难以置信 - 的确
Wow, really? That sounds incredible. - It was.
直到因为我吸毒太频繁被威利开了
Until Willie kicked me off for doing too many drugs.
威利尼尔森说"慢点"时
Yeah, when Willie Nelson says "Slow down,"
你就应该有所领会
That should tell you something.
是啊我烧了几座桥
Yeah, I burned a few bridges.
汽车旅馆的几间房♥ 还烧了间录音棚
And a couple of motel rooms. And one recording studio.
谁会把一个喝醉了的人单独留在有熔岩灯的房♥间里
Who leaves a drunk man alone in a room with a lava lamp?
我大学时差点把寝室烧了
I almost burned down my dorm room at college.
其实是我手里拿着大♥麻♥睡着了
Actually, I fell asleep while holding a joint...
可眼睛直盯着熔岩灯
but I was staring right at a lava lamp.
大♥麻♥和熔岩灯就是70年代的安必恩安♥眠♥药♥
Weed and lava lamps, that was the Ambien of the '70s.
总之
Anyway...
我现在对汽水和这种居无定所的生活非常满意
now I'm perfectly happy with club soda and a life on the road.
那你最喜欢的地方是哪里
So what's your favorite place you've been?
我会说是法国巴黎或内华达的埃尔克
Well, I'd say either Paris, France, or Elko, Nevada.
真的吗
Really?
那儿有家小餐馆的玉米卷饼非常棒
Yeah, there's a little diner there that serves great enchiladas.
埃尔克也挺不错的
Elko's nice too.
其实我第一次没借着酒劲儿
Elko's actually the first place
就敢登台表演就是在埃尔克
I ever got the courage to get on stage sober.
那比醉酒表演要求更高
I needed to play more than I needed the booze.
我用一种瘾代替另一种
I traded one addiction for another, I guess.
是啊我戒烟时
Yeah. Uh, when I quit smoking,
就开始收集豆豆公仔
I started collecting Beanie Babies.
那你的故事呢
So, what's your story?
我在内布拉斯卡的斯科茨布拉夫长大
I grew up in Scottsbluff, Nebraska.
我爸在当地的一家糖果厂上班
Yeah, my father worked in the sugar factory there.
他总是说那是份"甜蜜的工作"
He always called it "A pretty sweet job."
他不风趣但是个好父亲
He wasn't funny, but he was a good dad.
我读的是内布拉斯卡大学
And then I went to the University of Nebraska.
读什么专业玉米吗 - 看你也不风趣
What'd you major in, corn? - Oh, look, you're not funny either.
接着在上完大二要上大三的时候
Well, then between my sophomore and junior year,
我觉得搭便车周游全美挺不错的
I decided it'd be fun to hitchhike across the country.
我想走遍每一个州
I wanted to visit every state.
但我只到了一个州
But I only made it to one.
遇到了这个叫博的牛仔
I met this cowboy named Beau...
在那儿度过了人生里最棒的一个夏天
and I spent the best summer of my life there.
他教我怎么打理牧场和射击
He taught me how to ranch and shoot guns.
我教他跳舞和喝龙舌兰
I taught him how to dance and shoot tequila.
知道龙舌兰的故事吗 - 什么故事
You know what they say about tequila. - What?
我记不住了龙舌兰喝太多了
I can't remember. Too much tequila.
那你怎么会来了这儿 - 大学毕了业
So how'd you end up here? - Finished college...
我就嫁给了这个牛仔
and then I married that cowboy,
生下了两个儿子买♥♥了这间酒吧
had a couple of boys, bought this bar...
又跟那个牛仔离了婚现在我正在卖♥♥酒吧
divorced that cowboy, now I'm trying to sell the bar.
想把酒吧也加到
Hey, you wouldn't wanna add a bar
被你烧掉的东西的名单上吗
to the list of things you burned down, would you?
你人真好认为我还没烧过酒吧
That's cute, you think I haven't burned down a bar.
你最喜欢哪首歌♥ 我来弹
Why don't I play you another song? What's your favorite?
约翰普莱恩的<蒙歌♥马利来的天使>
"Angel from Montgomery" By John Prine.
品位挺高
Well, you got good taste.
我可以跟你聊上一整晚
I could talk to you all night long.
你没地方住是吗 - 没有
You don't have a place to stay, do you? - No, I do not.
要是你愿意睡在酒吧里
Well, if you wanna crash in the bar,
我房♥车里有几条多余的毯子可以给你
I got some spare blankets out in my Airstream.
真的吗你不介意吗
Really? You don't mind?
听了免费演唱会这么做是最起码的
No. It's the least I could do for a free concert.
非常感谢玛姬
I appreciate this, Maggie.
没什么是我的荣幸
Yeah... it's my pleasure.
你很有趣克林特
You're an interesting guy, Clint.
要是你晚上听到奇怪的声音
Hey, if you hear a weird noise in the night,
要么是浣熊想翻垃圾桶
it's either a raccoon trying to get in the Dumpster
要么是汉克想要回酒吧里去
or Hank trying to get back in the bar.
不管是谁用光照一下他们的眼睛他们就跑了
Either way, just shine a light in their eyes, they'll run off.
我在游轮上的第二天
So, it's day two of my cruise
我的外孙女眼睛一刻都没离开她的手♥机♥
and my granddaughter has not looked up from her phone once.
她拿那东西干什么
What is she even doing on that thing?
她才六岁 - 天啊
She's six! - Jesus.
所以我说"亲爱的看
So, I said, "Honey. Honey, look,
是<冰雪奇缘>里的艾尔莎"
there's Elsa from Frozen!"
她转过头来看
And she turned to look,
我趁机夺过她的手♥机♥ 扔出船外
and I grabbed her cell phone and I threw it overboard.
那之后我们玩得非常开心
And after that, we had the best time.
不幸的是那是她妈的手♥机♥
Unfortunately, it was her mom's phone.
我讨厌手♥机♥
I hate cell phones.
我更喜欢需要找谁时
I liked it better when if you needed to get a hold of somebody,
只要发射照明弹就行了
you just shot up a flare.
行了我还有我旅行的事讲得够多了
Okay, enough about me and my trip.
总是这样我到你家来讲个滔滔不绝
This always happens. I come over here and I hog the conversation.
换你来讲博
You tell a story, Beau.
好吧
Okay.
我想想看
Let's see...
有天我在饲料店买♥♥提捞绳
I was at the feedstore the other day to get some baling twine.
以前都是摆在三号♥过道大概齐胸高的地方
They always keep it on aisle three, 'bout chest high...
可那天那里没有
but it wasn't there.
于是我就去柜台问格伦
So I go up to the counter and ask Glenn.
他说"那个卖♥♥光了周二会再上货"
He says, "We're out. We'll have some more on Tuesday."
所以周二我还得回去那家店
So I gotta go back on Tuesday.
我周三会打电♥话♥给你
Wow, I got to call you on Wednesday
问问看令人激动的结果
so I can get the thrilling conclusion.