牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E13

Part 1 June 24, 2021, 11:38 a.m.

嘿 - 嘿
Hey! - Hey.
妈呀瞧瞧这黑眼圈
Oh, shit! Look at that black eye.
是求婚后的变♥态♥性♥爱♥弄的吗
Is that from some kinky post-proposal sex?
这我明白
'Cause I get that.
去年情人节我送了花和巧克力给玛丽
Last Valentine's, I gave Mary some flowers and chocolates.
她就在做♥爱♥时掐了我的脖子还绑了我
She gave me some choke marks and rope burns.
是我上台求婚时
No, Thomas Rhett sucker-punched me
托马斯瑞德给了我一拳
when I got on stage to propose.
不会吧
You fucking kidding me?
明星揍你了 - 是啊
A celebrity punched you in the face? - Yeah.
这是你最让我骄傲的一次了
I've never been more proud of you in my life.
就是吧
I know, right?
以前揍过我最出名的人
Up until then, the most famous person to ever punch me
当属那个海盗摩根船长了
was the Captain Morgan pirate.
不给我朗姆酒
Don't give me a bottle of rum
还指望我不拧你的胡子
and expect me not to twist your mustache.
你告诉老爸老妈了吗 - 告诉老爸了
Hey, you tell Mom and Dad? - Yeah, I told Dad.
他说 "所以你才迟到了吗"
He said, "Congratulations. So that's why you're fucking late?"
还告诉了老妈她非常高兴
Told Mom. She's real psyched about
艾比能成为咱家的一员
having Abby as part of the family.
她都哭了
She started to cry.
但她当时正在参加抗♥议♥活动
Although, she was at a protest,
所以我不知道是因为我要结婚的事还是因为催泪瓦斯
so I don't know if it was from the news or the tear gas.
你们告诉艾比父母了吗
You tell Abby's parents?
告诉了他俩也哭了
Yeah. They cried too.
还狠狠地骂了我
And swore. A lot.
没关系我要请他俩吃晚饭
But it's okay. I'm gonna invite 'em over for dinner.
给他们做奶奶的苹果奶酥
Make 'em Grandma Bennett's apple crumble.
老弟奶奶不会做饭
Dude, Grandma Bennett didn't cook.
她唯一会做的就是让露西姑姑成了跳脱衣舞的
The only thing she ever made was Aunt Lucy a stripper.
所以我们的生日贺卡里才总夹着一美元的纸钞
So, that's why she always put singles in our birthday cards.
跟老爸在一起的那女的是谁
Shit, who's that woman out there with Dad?
她归我了
Oh, dibs.
首先你现在跟玛丽是一对
Okay, first of all, you're with Mary.
其次不能给一个人划归属
Second of all, you can't call dibs on a person.
她又不是最后那听蓝带啤酒
She's not the last PBR.
还有这听才是归我了
By the way, this is the last PBR. Dibs.
嘿 - 嗨
Hey. - Hi!
孩子们这位是珍帕内尔
Boys, this is Jen Parnell.
这两个是我儿子柯尔特和公鸡
These are my sons, Colt and Rooster.
见到你们很高兴
Nice to meet you guys.
我想说我没少听说你俩的事
I'd like to say I heard good things,
但我只想跟你们的父亲谈
but I just spent the last hour with your dad.
珍是洛基山天然气公♥司♥的工程师
Jen's an engineer with Rocky Mountain Natural Gas.
工程师你肯定很聪明很牛逼
Oh, engineer, huh? Well, you must be smart and shit.
的确我念的是怀俄明大学
I am. I went to the University of Wyoming.
主修聪明辅修牛逼
I majored in smart and minored in shit.
是啊怀俄明很想招我进球队
Yeah. Wyoming recruited me pretty hard for football
可我穿棕色不好看
but I don't look good in brown.
我的肤色更适合春夏的色彩
My skin's more of a spring-summer palette.
行了那我走了但这个给你
Okay, well, I have to get going but I will leave you with this.
有任何问题
If you have any questions,
最好通过电邮联♥系♥我
the best way to get in touch is e-mail.
那第二好的方法呢
What's the second-best way?
名片上有我的电♥话♥
My number's on the card.
见到你非常高兴博
It was great to meet you, Beau.
见到你们也是再见
You too. Goodbye.
妈呀
Holy shit.
我还从没见过有人从前门出去
I've never seen anybody go out the front door.
我都忘了还有前门
I forgot that thing was there.
她之前一直在敲前门
I know. She was knocking out there forever.
我还以为是该死的啄木鸟
I thought it was a fucking woodpecker.
她要干嘛
What'd she want?
天然气公♥司♥要建输气管
Gas company's building a pipeline.
想从我们家地下穿过
They want to put it through our land.
你还让她进门了你讨厌办公事的
And you let her in? Come on, Dad, you hate solicitors.
你连快递包裹都不肯签收
You won't even sign for a UPS package.
成熟男人不该穿短裤
Grown men shouldn't wear shorts.
我跟她说我们可能会感兴趣
I told her we might be interested.
是吗 - 真的假的
Really? - Are you serious?
你老了变软弱了呢
Man, you're getting soft in your old age.
以前我想建风车你还用铁锹打我呢
I wanted to put up a windmill, you hit me with a shovel.
他们出很大一笔钱但我很纠结
Yeah, they're offering a lot of money, but I'm torn.
这完全违背我所知道的
Goes against everything I know and
做牧场主的理念
feel about being a steward of the land.
老爸这可是好多钱
I mean, Dad, this is a shit ton of money.
有保障是好事
Would be nice to have a little safety net, you know?
不用把钱扔了就装作没收到过
Not have to throw them bills away and pretend we never got 'em.
是啊也许吧
Yeah, maybe.
我老爸会气得诈尸
My old man would be rolling over in his grave.
我说不好
I don't know.
我觉得爷爷
I think if Grandpa Bennett was here,
想让我们接受那笔钱
he'd want us to take the money
把这里传给本奈特家的后人们
and pass this place down to future generations of Bennetts.
还有他想让我们用其中一部分钱
Uh, plus, he'd want us to spend some of that money
买♥♥几辆摩托艇
to buy a couple of sweet-ass Jet Skis.
我们不买♥♥摩托艇笨蛋
We're not getting fucking Jet Skis, you idiot.
这钱是靠天然气赚来的
This is natural gas money, all right?
我们要买♥♥艘大浮艇
We're getting a big-ass pontoon boat.
太棒了
Hell yeah.
这样帮助太大了
This will really help.
上帝给我们点小恩惠
I mean, God is throwing us a bone.
我们就要把它埋到地下六米深的地方
We need to bury that fucker 20 feet in the ground
让天然气管道通过
and pump natural gas through it.
我以前从没跟你们这么讲过但
I don't know. I've never said this to you boys before, but...
也许你们说得对
maybe you're right.
太他妈棒了
Hell yeah!
我得先
First thing I gotta do
征求萨姆彼得森的同意
is go talk to Sam Peterson and get his okay.
为什么
Why?
天然气公♥司♥得跨过他家地界
The gas company has to cross his land
才能到铺管的地方
in order to get to where they wanna put the pipeline.
彼得森不会同意的
Well, Peterson's not gonna agree to that.
别了摩托艇 - 是啊
Bye-bye, Jet Skis. - Yeah.
别了浮艇
Bye-bye, pontoon boat.
别了电费单
Bye-bye, electric bill.
嘿公鸡 - 嘿汉克
Hey, Rooster. - Hey, Hank.
抱歉今天不能给你啤酒了
Sorry, man, I can't give you a beer today.
这可不好笑
That's not funny.
跟杰瑞谈过之前我不能卖♥♥酒
Look, I can't serve till I talk to Jerry.
可你在喝啊 - 对因为我在这儿上班
But you're drinking. - Yeah, I work here.
是啊
Right.
我能来这儿上班吗
Can I work here?
嘿公鸡
Hey, Rooster.
还有永远在这的这位
Guy who's always here.
杰瑞我们谈谈 - 听着
Jerry, let's talk. - All right, listen.
要是有人问起来就说你是在胡同里找到的
If anybody asks, you found that in the alley.
有可能胡同里还有洋葱圈吗
Any chance I found some onion rings out there too?
嘿什么情况 - 嘿你好吗
Hey. What's the deal, man? - Hey, how are you?
你跟酒牌管理局谈过了吗
Did you, uh, did you talk to the liquor board?
谈过了你有两个选择
Yeah, I did. And you got two options.
要么交一千美元罚款
You can either pay a $1,000 fine
要么停业三天
or you can shut down the bar for three days.
我拿不出一千美元
Well, I don't got a thousand bucks.
好吧那就只有一个选择了
Okay, then you have one option.
我也不能停业酒吧连收支平衡都勉勉强强
No, I can't shut down either, okay? I'm barely breaking even.
上个月我差点叫移♥民♥局抓埃米利奥
Last month, I almost called Immigration
好不用付工钱给他
so I don't have to pay Emilio.
听着公鸡我知道你不愿意听这话
Look, Rooster, I know this isn't what you wanna hear,
但这是给初犯的标准惩罚
but it's just a standard penalty for a first offense.