牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E08

Part 3 June 24, 2021, 11:37 a.m.

不谈谈那天晚上的事吗
not talk about what happened the other night?
不
No, no.
所以我才给你打电♥话♥ 我想谈谈
That's why I called. I... I want to talk about it.
太好了
Oh, good.
那我先说 - 好极了
I'll go first? - Great.
那个
Well...
我们喝了点酒那晚很美好
We had a few drinks and it was a pretty night.
我们接吻了
And we kissed.
至少我觉得是这样
At least I think we did.
不太确定我是不是隔着胡子吻到了你
I'm not sure I made it through your mustache.
感觉挺好的 - 确实
And it was nice. - Yeah, it was.
但我想我们最好还是做朋友 - 谢天谢地
But I think we're better as friends. - Ah, thank God.
就不能对我好点儿稍显失望一下
Well, uh, a tinge of disappointment might have been nice.
不我觉得你说得对
No, I... I think you're right.
我们在一起挺开心的
We've always had such a good time together.
我不想把它破坏了
I hate to screw it up.
是啊干吗要破坏美好的友谊呢 - 就是嘛
Yeah, why ruin a good friendship? - Exactly.
我们现在这样正好 - 就是
You and I are great as we are. - Yep.
罗纳德里根是位差劲的总统 - 什么
Ronald Reagan was a horrible president. - What?
就看看是不是我说什么你都认同
Just checkin' to see if you're agreeing with everything I say.
不是
Well, I wasn't.
罗纳德里根是除了跳舞的葡萄干外
And Ronald Reagan was the best thing to come out of California,
加州出品的最好的东西
besides the dancing raisins.
那我们就回到之前我想来就来
Okay, so let's just go back to where I stop by whenever I want to and
喝光你的威士忌
I drink all your whiskey and
而你想骗我看约翰韦恩的烂片的那个时候
you try to trick me into watching some stupid John Wayne movie.
你先是损了里根现在又损公爵
First you hit Reagan, and now the Duke?
这可是两振
That's two strikes.
要是再敢损下佩顿曼宁那咱俩就再也别见了
You take a shot at Peyton Manning, you'll never see me again.
我不会的但他不如约翰埃尔韦
Well, I'm not gonna take a shot, but he's no John Elway.
等等
Now, just...
说得好
You make a good point.
看来有人买♥♥了枪展的票
Looks like someone got tickets to the gun show.
太遗憾了有人有季票
Unfortunately, someone else got season passes.
有什么能帮你的吗
Can I help you?
抱歉你肯定不是本地人
Oh. Sorry, you must not be from around here.
柯尔特本奈特我也算风云人物了
Colt Bennett. I'm kind of a local legend.
好的
Okay.
你登记了吗
Did you check in with the office?
因为如果有陌生人在学校附近晃悠
'Cause when strange adults start hanging around schools
讲枪的事
talking about guns, it, uh...
会引起警觉 - 是啊
Well, it sets off a bunch of alarms. - Yeah, yeah.
我是加里森的校友
I'm... I'm Garrison alumni.
你看到墙上我的名字了吗
Maybe you've seen my name on the wall?
传球最多本奈特逗号♥柯尔特
Most passing yards. Bennett comma Colt.
达阵得分最多本奈特逗号♥柯尔特
Most touchdowns. Bennett comma Colt.
前传成功率最高
Highest completion percentage.
汤普森逗号♥约什什么
Thompson comma Josh. What the fuck?
反正这项数据也是瞎扯
Bullshit stat anyway.
不好意思你有什么事
I'm sorry, why are you here?
我是所有最有分量的纪录保持者
Oh, well, since I hold all the most important records,
学校让我在这里健身
they let me work out here sometimes.
而我女朋友在这儿上班艾比菲利普斯
And my, uh... my girlfriend, she works here. Abby Phillips.
我认识艾比她很棒
Yeah, yeah. No, I know Abby. She's... she's awesome.
超喜欢吃果冻甜甜圈
Goes crazy for those jelly donuts, huh?
我是保罗库特勒
Well, I'm... I'm Paul Cutler.
摔跤教练和数学老师
Wrestling coach and math teacher.
我可以教你纳尔逊擒拿
So, I can teach you how to do a half nelson
或是怎么解未知数
or solve for x.
摔跤是吧
Wrestling, huh?
你教过学生高级固技吗
You ever teach a boy an advanced pinnin' technique?
没听说过
I don't think I know what that is.
你怎么会来加里森
What brings you to Garrison, Paul?
说来话长
Well, it's a long story,
但简单说我需要换个环境
but, bottom line, I just needed a change.
换个环境
Change?
你摊上什么事了吗
You get into some trouble?
我之前在服军役 - 少来了
Uh, I was in the army. - Oh, come on.
我当时在阿富汗
Stationed in Afghanistan.
<使命召唤黑色行动II>我打的是专业玩家难度的
I play that Call of Duty: Black Ops II on the expert level.
那可是最高难度
That's the highest.
很高兴认识你柯尔特
It's very nice to meet you, Colt.
我就不妨碍你了
I'll let you get to your workout.
嘿保罗
Hey, Paul.
你刚来这儿想一起喝一杯吗
You're new around here. You wanna grab a drink sometime?
好啊也许吧
Yeah, yeah, sure, maybe.
你都喝什么
What's your poison?
麦芽酒淡啤酒
Ales? Lagers?
你有过在动物园猴区醒来
You ever wake up in the monkey pit at the zoo,
发现自己躺在呕吐物里
covered in vomit
却分不清是自己吐的还是猴子吐的那种经历
and you're not sure whether it's yours or the monkey's?
知道吗柯尔特我
You know what, Colt? I'm...
我要去查查你是不是可以在这里健身
I'm just gonna run down to the office, make sure it's okay for you to be here.
我就实话实说了吧
I'll... I'll be honest with you.
我是来查你底的 - 什么
I came here to check you out. - What?
我是海瑟孩子的父亲
I'm the father of Heather's baby.
是我第一个孩子所以
It's my first kid, so...
我只是得确保你不是什么变♥态♥
I... I just... wanted to make sure you weren't some kind of crazy psychopath.
你知道我说的是哪种人
You know the kind of guy I'm talking about.
是的我想我知道
Yeah, I think I do.
但你似乎是个好人所以
But, actually, you seem like a pretty good guy, so...
我很高兴你跟海瑟见面
I'm happy you and Heather met.
下次我来时
Hey, I'll tell you what, next time I come down here,
试试身手怎么样
how about you and me, we do a little bit of wrestling, huh?
好吧我没准备好
Okay. I wasn't ready.
好吧沙琳拿起电视遥控器
Okay, Charlene, get the TV remote.
对上面写着"电视遥控器"
Yes, it... it says right on it, "TV remote."
现在按输入键
Now, push the input button.
不该死沙琳
No, no, no! Damn it, Charlene.
你得等我到家才能看<小购♥房♥♥者>
You're gonna have to wait to watch Tiny House Hunters when I get home.
天啊发发慈悲吧
Good Lord, have mercy!
我深爱着那个女人
I love that woman to death,
但她只知道怎么惹我生气
but the only buttons she knows how to push are mine.
我可以顺路去你家帮帮沙琳
Hey, if you want, I can swing by your house and help Charlene with the remote.
你女儿还住家里吗
Hey, does your daughter still live at home?
公鸡你以前被给马用的镇静剂射中过吗
Rooster, have you ever been shot with a horse tranquilizer?
要是我回答有会显得奇怪吗
Would it be weird if the answer is yes?
所以我修好了前门门闩
So, look, I, uh, fixed the latch on the front gate,
给车道撒了盐
salted the drive.
还要干什么
What else you want me to do?
我得去看看我的金毛犬
Well, I've got to go check on my golden retriever,
它刚生了六只可爱的小狗
who just had a litter of six gorgeous puppies.
小狗最棒了
Fucking puppies, man, they are the best.
天啊我的Instagram会收到一堆赞的
Boy, I'll tell you, it's gonna blow up my Instagram.
我看狗的时候你要把手伸进
Hey, while I'm doin' that, I need you to put your hand up
那头牛的屁♥股♥里
that cow's caboose there
尽可能地往外掏粪
and pull out as much manure as you can hold.
它三天没拉屎了
That cow hasn't had a bowel movement in three days.
我早晨只要一喝咖啡
For me, I take a cup of coffee first thing in the morning,
就想上厕所了
and that starts the trains a-rollin'.
没问题交给我吧
Yep, no problem. I'll take care of it.
工作找得如何有收获吗
How about the job market? Anything?
嗯
Well.
其实
Actually...
我能跟你征求点意见吗
Mind if I get your opinion about somethin'?
如果是关于你身上的这件衬衫
Well, if it's about that shirt,
我没什么兴趣
I don't much care for it.
我妈
My mom off--
我的衬衫怎么了
What the hell's wrong with my shirt?
如果你是要去96年的音响公园演唱会就没什么
Nothing, if you're going to a Soundgarden concert in 1996.