牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E06

Part 1 June 24, 2021, 11:37 a.m.

我们怎么没发现恩伯托是非法移♥民♥
Dude, how the hell did we not know Umberto was illegal?
事后想想还是有些迹象的
I mean, in hindsight, there were some signs.
伯托生日那天
That time we got that stripper
我们叫了打扮成女警的脱衣舞♥女♥来
to dress up like a cop for Berto's birthday,
他却跳窗跑了
then he jumped out the window.
都怪我
It's all my fault.
别这样老兄
Come on, man.
不怪你
No, it ain't.
是吗
No?
是我叫他这周末别上班的
Told him not to work this weekend.
他因为我才去了酒吧
I led him to that bar.
是我打架害我们被抓
Started the fight that got us all arrested.
是啊
Okay, sure.
这么说确实都怪你
Technically, it's all your fault.
他来这里好久了
That guy's been here forever, you know?
一直都生活在这里
His whole life is here.
他刚买♥♥了超出自己负担的房♥子
Yeah. He just bought a house he can't afford.
还有比这更像美国人的吗
What's more American than that?
该死
Damn it.
怎么会这样
How did this happen, man?
我他妈可是公鸡
I'm the fucking Rooster.
我向来都是一切尽在掌握
My shit's locked down tight.
可现在我的得力帮手就要被遣返墨西哥
Now, I got my right-hand man on his way down to Mexico.
我们被关在牢里
We're stuck here in jail.
明天还要给所有的牛上完标签
Supposed to have all the cows tagged tomorrow at 9:00 a.m.
天啊一切都被我搞砸了
God, I fucked everything up.
成为你就是这样的感觉吧
Is this what it feels like to be you?
不能放弃
You can't give up.
要是我放弃了
If I'd have given up,
就没有海鹰队历史上
I'd have never engineered
那次最伟大的反败为胜了
the greatest comeback in Seahawks history.
你根本没替西雅图队打过球
You never played for Seattle.
是埃德蒙顿海鹰队加拿大联赛
No, the Edmonton Seahawks. Canadian Football League.
离比赛结束只剩下六分钟
Six minutes on the clock.
我们队落后梅迪辛哈特学院猛虎队24分
We're down by 24 to the Medicine Hat Marauders.
队友们说
My teammates... they say,
我们走吧
"Eh, let's take off, eh?
赢不了这些白♥痴♥了
We're not about to beat these hosers."
要去喝莫森啤酒吗
"Let's go drink some Molson, eh?
喝糖浆吗
Let's go drink some syrup, eh?"
离比赛结束还剩三秒
There's three seconds left on the clock.
还落后四分对吧
We're down by four, right?
于是我就撞大运地一投
So I heave up a prayer.
我们队的边锋史蒂夫科斯洛夫斯基
My tight end, Steve Koslowaski,
过掉四个防守队员
goes up over four defenders,
在达阵区一只手接到球达阵得分
catches the ball, end zone, one hand. Touchdown.
整个赛场沸腾了好吗
Place goes nuts, right?
不幸的是史蒂夫摔在了球上
Unfortunately, Steve comes down on the ball,
导致脾脏破裂
ruptured his spleen.
死了
He died.
但重点在于我们从不放弃
But the important part is we never quit.
很感激你所做的可是
Look, Colt, appreciate what you're trying to do, but...
我想就算伯托在
I mean, I think even if I had Berto here...
也来不及完成所有事
Not enough time for me to get everything done.
如果我来帮忙呢
What if I help?
就算我们给牛都上了标签
I mean, even if we got all the cows tagged, like...
我还要完成电脑文件什么的
I got a ton of paperwork and computer shit to do.
那不是我的强项
I am not good at that.
老兄直到上周
Dude, up until last week,
我还一直以为PDF是"公众场合做♥爱♥"的意思
I thought PDF stood for "Public display of fucking."
让艾比帮忙那是她的强项
Get Abby to do it. Paperwork, that's like her Madden.
我不知道
I don't know.
加油老兄这是为了伯托
Come on, man. Do it for Berto!
为了史蒂夫科斯洛夫斯基
Hell, do it for Steve Koslowaski!
为安大略接受史蒂夫心脏的
Do it for the guy in Thunder Bay, ontario,
那个人
that got Steve's heart!
好的
All right.
好的该死 - 耶
All right. Shit, yeah... - Yeah!
我们能行 - 太他妈好了
We can do this, right? - Fuck yeah!
耶
Yeah.
该死我们还在监狱里
Shit, we're still in jail.
警♥察♥怎么还没弄完
What's taking them so long?
可以查上次被抓时留下的案底啊
They have all their information from their last arrest.
什么时候
When was that?
是酒驾残疾人助动车
Was it the drunken NASCAR race
在凯马特超♥市♥玩纳斯卡赛车那次吗
with the handicap scooters through Kmart?
不是他们裸奔冲过艾比餐厅
No, it was the time they went streaking through Arby's,
喊着"肉在我们手里"的那次
yelling, "We have the meats."
天啊 - 可不是嘛
Jesus. - That's right.
我们父母当得不合格吗
Are we bad parents?
要是我们不合格就不会来保他俩了
If we were bad parents, we wouldn't be here bailing 'em out.
杰瑞发邮件来了他一会儿要见我
Oh, uh, Jerry sent me an e-mail. He wants to meet later.
看来有人出价想买♥♥酒吧
Apparently, I have an offer on the bar.
真的 - 是的
Really? - Yeah.
不错
Well, good for you.
真希望有人想把那哥俩买♥♥走
Wish someone would make an offer on the boys.
嘿玛丽 - 嘿博玛姬
Hey. Mary. - Oh, hey, Beau. Maggie.
嘿菲利丝你好啊？ - 嗨玛丽
Hey, Phyllis. What's up? - Hi, Mary.
弗兰克别慌我就来看看
Frank, don't freak out. Just visiting.
我以前进来过几次
I may have been here a few times before.
你可以不用来的
You didn't have to come out.
我们会把他俩都接回去的
We would've picked 'em both up.
公鸡不确定你们会不会来
Oh, yeah, Rooster wasn't sure y'all were coming.
而且打指模的辛迪
Oh, plus, Cindy in fingerprinting
让我来看看新生宝宝的照片
wanted to show me pictures of her new baby.
他们拍了大头照
They did a little mug shot.
宝宝摆了个超级可爱的造型
Booked the kid for excessive
手里拎着用过的尿布
cuteness and carrying a loaded diaper.
海瑟怎么样了
So, how's Heather doing?
时好时坏
Oh, you know, she has her good days and her bad days.
孩子爸爸在牢里
Baby daddy's in jail,
这对罗斯家的女人来说才正常
so that's about right for the Roth girls.
我真希望她的处境没这么艰辛
I just wish this whole situation wasn't so hard on her.
很遗憾她受苦了
I'm sorry she's having such a tough time.
她是个好姑娘 - 谢谢
She's a fine young woman. - Aw, thank you.
我本想问问柯尔特和公鸡如何的
I'd ask you how Colt and Rooster are doing, but...
但看来不必了
I think we know.
但我们依然爱他们
But we still love 'em.
对吗
Right?
嘿老妈谢谢你能来
Hey, Ma, thanks for coming.
谢谢你还把老爸带来了
Thanks for bringing Dad.
怎么回事里面原先有钱的
What the hell? There was money in here.
嘿有人拿了我三块钱
Hey. Someone owes me three bucks.
这才是我男人
That's my man.
有人想去艾比餐厅吗
Hey, who wants to go to Arby's?
你好艾比 - 标签贴完了吗
What's up, Abby? - How's the tagging going?
正在做
It's going.
活儿太多时间太少
We got a lot of work to do and not a lot of time to do it in.
还有柯尔特浪费了15分钟
Plus, Colt just wasted, like, 15 minutes
决定哪头牛是69号♥
trying to decide what cow was gonna be number 69.
有伯托的消息吗
You heard from Berto?
有他挺好的
I did, yeah. He's doing all right.
还没到家但能见到家人他挺高兴的
He's not back home yet, but he's excited to see his family.
他跟他们讲了很多关于我们的事
He's told them so many stories about us,
他们给家里的一只鸡取名叫公鸡
they got a rooster named Rooster
一头驴取名叫柯尔特
and a jackass named Colt.
猜猜昨晚你们两个蠢货被捕时
You'll never guess who stopped by the ice hut last night
谁来冰钓屋了
while you idiots were getting yourselves arrested.
谁
Who?
极品天气预报小姐塔尼娅肖沃斯
Weather girl extraordinaire... Tanya Showers.