牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E18

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:39 a.m.

我需要你们哥俩
I need some help from you
帮忙给牛上耳标
and your brother ear-tagging those calves.
他去哪儿了
Where is he?
我跟他说你不信任他
Well, I told him you didn't trust him,
所以我才来帮他
which is why I was out there helping him
修畜栏的门柱
fix that gatepost down by the corral.
他说 "什么去它的我自己能搞定进去吧"
He's like, "What? Screw that. I can do it by myself. Go inside."
所以我才在这儿吃午饭喝啤酒
So now I'm in here, eating lunch, drinking a beer.
而他在外面修门
He's out there fixing the gate.
我们再来一次你弟弟呢
Let's try that again. Where's your brother?
他在外面
He's outside.
这有那么难吗
Was that so fucking hard?
你找老妈谈了吗 - 没有
Did you talk to Mom? - No.
你会去吗 - 不会
You going to? - No.
显然你不想聊这个
Obviously, you don't want to talk about it,
那我就不问了
so I'm just gonna drop it.
这有那么难吗
Was that so fucking hard?
嘿珍
Hey, Jen.
嘿博公鸡
Hey, Beau. Rooster.
珍工程师你真漂亮
Hmm. Engineer Jennifer, you look lovely.
谢谢你还跟以前一样
Thanks. You look... the same.
我把你最后核准过的合同拿来了
I brought over the final contracts you approved.
就差你签名了
All that's left is for you to sign.
天啊要签多少个名
Good Lord, how many signatures do you need?
十五个签名五个姓名缩写
Fifteen signatures, five initials
而且一般也会要长子长女签名
and we typically ask for a first-born child,
但因为是公鸡所以就不必了
but since it's Rooster, we're gonna waive it.
十五个签名
Fifteen signatures.
如果要按指纹我知道用哪根手指
If you need a fingerprint, I know which finger I'm using.
老爸以前连我学校的家长回执都不签
Man, Dad wouldn't even sign my permission slips back in school.
有一次我不得不就待在图书馆里
One time, I had to sit in the library.
而班里其他人全郊游去了丹佛动物园
My whole class was up at the Denver Zoo on a field trip.
我则坐在图书馆跟达蒙小姐整理书架
I'm sitting there re-shelving books with Ms. Damone.
其他同学都看到了两只狒狒交♥配♥
They all got to see two baboons fucking.
真有意思
Charming.
这是你要求修改的地方
Oh, uh, here's the amendment you requested.
"不许你们公♥司♥的黑色直升机和无人机在我家地界上"
"Keep your black helicopters and drones off my goddamn property."
白纸黑字打出来看着还真不错
Looks good all printed up like that.
那些抗♥议♥者会带来什么影响吗
Are these, uh, protesters gonna affect anything?
不会他们大部分人都是素食主义者体力不太行
No, most of them are vegan. They're very weak.
太阳晒几个小时他们就收摊了
A few hours in the sun and they'll pack it in.
开个玩笑
I'm kidding.
我们一直都在应付这种事没事的
No, we deal with this kind of thing all the time. We'll be fine.
行了给
All right, there you go.
虽然你刚才说不必了
Even though you said I didn't have to...
我还是额外奉送上公鸡♥吧♥
I threw in Rooster.
太好了所以一正式破土动工
Great. So once we officially break ground,
钱就会直接打进你们的户头
we'll wire the funds directly into your account.
与此同时我把这些带回我的老巢
In the meantime, I'll take these back to my lair
继续我破坏环境的阴谋
and continue my plot to destroy the environment.
行了我很风趣的
Oh, come on, I'm funny.
终于签了老爸我们卖♥♥了
Well... finally did it, Daddy. We sold out.
感觉不错
Feels good.
回头见
All right, I'll see you later.
嘿珍等一下
Hey, Jen, wait up.
好吧我帮你省点时间吧
Okay, let me save you some time.
从天堂坠落不疼
No, it did not hurt when I fell from Heaven.
而且我不是田纳西人
And no, I'm not from Tennessee,
尽管我是唯一一个你会打十分的人
despite the fact that I am the only ten you see.
我不是来泡你的
No, I'm not out here to hit on you.
可刚才那两个笑话还是挺不错的
Although, those two are pretty good.
你听过这个吗
Hey, you ever heard this one?
"听说你在找大头钉
"Heard you're looking for a stud. Well,
我有性病了就差你了"
I got the S-T-D. All I need is you."
我不知道哪个更让我惊讶
I don't know what surprises me more,
是这笑话很好笑还是你居然会拼写
that that works or that you can spell.
我只想说
Look, I just wanna say
也许那天我有点胡来
maybe I came on a little strong the other day.
就那天吗 - 每天都是
The other day? - All right, every day.
但我觉得要是你再给公鸡一次机会
But I think if you gave the Rooster another chance,
他或许能打动你
he might surprise you.
你说话平和时
When you're trying to be nice,
非得用第三人称吗
do you have to speak in the third person?
我不知道也许公鸡是这样
I don't know. Maybe the Rooster does.
公鸡这是在说笑
Rooster's joking with that one.
公鸡停不下来了
Shit, Rooster can't stop.
听着公鸡我很荣幸
Look, Rooster, I'm flattered.
你不坏只是不是我的菜
And you're not a bad guy, you're just not my type.
说实话我也觉得我不是你的菜
And honestly, I don't think I'm yours.
珍很抱歉
The Jen is sorry.
我认为要是珍听了公鸡的计划
I think the Jen might change her mind
她或许会改主意
if she heard the Rooster's plan.
这其实跟第三人有关
It actually involves a third person.
你跟那两只狒狒三P的机会更大
You'd have a better shot at a threesome with those two baboons.
说马可
Oh, say Marco.
马可
Marco.
波罗这么难看的领带哪儿来的
Bolo. Where'd you get that stupid fucking tie?
是我面试时戴的
It's my interviewing tie.
意思是说 "我了解自己的职业但我也可能带着枪"
It says, "I know my business, but I also might have a gun."
我觉得是 "乡巴佬毕业舞会"
I think it says, "Redneck prom."
还是很棒
Still good.
比尔嘿 - 你好吗
Bill, hey! - How's it going?
你好吗比尔胡子好酷
What's up, Bill? Hey, that's a strong beard, huh?
我其实是为了遮住皮疹
Actually, I was just trying to cover a rash.
那也挺牛掰的
Oh, all right. Well, that's badass, too.
谢谢你休假时还来见我们
Hey, thanks for meeting us on your day off.
没什么 - 是啊
Oh, uh, no problem. - Yeah.
我女儿刚满17岁叛逆讨厌她老妈
My daughter just turned 17 and discovered she hates her mother,
所以能从家出来是好事
so it's a great time to get out of the house.
顺便说一句领带挺不错的
Oh, uh, nice tie, by the way.
谢谢
Thank you.
小时候我爸会带我来这儿
You know, my dad used to bring me to this place when I was a little kid.
你小时候住这附近
Oh, yeah? You grew up around here?
里奇韦的奶牛农场
Oh, yeah, uh, dairy farm over in Ridgway.
那里是被炼油厂占了吗
It's over by the rendering plant?
整座镇的空气都很差
Yep. Whole town smells like death.
那一个农家小子怎么转做银行了呢
So, uh, how's a farm kid become a banker?
我老爸觉得农场的收入波动太大
Oh, uh, well, my dad thought that farming was too unpredictable,
于是他把钱都花在了供我读大学上
so, uh, he used every penny he had and sent me to college.
可我离家上学那几年农场收益不好
Uh, but while I was away, he had a couple of rough years
银行把我家抵押的农场收去了
and the bank foreclosed on his farm.
该死的银行的人他们全都该去死
Piece-of-shit bankers. They should all die.
不是说你比尔
Not you, Bill.
总之在我爸失去农场之后
Anyway, uh, after my dad lost his place,
我就意识到我得回来帮这个城镇存活下去
I knew I had to come back and try to keep the town going.
我小时候去的地方
You know, all the places that I went to as a kid
都一个个关门了
are disappearing.
药房♥ 理发店
Uh, the pharmacy, the barbershop...
克拉克动物园
Clark's Zoo.
我觉得说克拉克把动物们关进笼子里更贴切
Well, I guess it was less a zoo and more Clark just puttin' animals in cages.
但小时候会觉得那很神奇
But when you're a kid, that's just magical.
我记得小时候去那儿被土拨鼠咬了
I remember going to that place. I got bit by a woodchuck.
是啊
Yeah, yeah.
你肚子上打了六针狂犬疫苗
You had to get six rabies shots in your stomach.
非常棒
That was awesome.
后来你咬了我害我也得打疫苗
Then you bit me and I had to get 'em, too.
还是谈生意吧
All right, all right, let's talk shop.
所以去年阿尼玛斯河的管道油喷
So last year, the Animas River spill
让你家的地和牛群升了值
actually increased the value of your land and your herd.
那条河里的鱼长出了毛发
The fish in the river are now growing hair,