牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E04

Part 1 June 24, 2021, 11:37 a.m.

艾比
Abby.
嘿
Hey.
我们俩需要谈谈
We need to talk.
好的
Yeah.
要进去吗
You wanna go inside?
不我得把这根烟抽完所以
No. I need to finish this, so...
该死
Damn.
我得把这根抽完
I just need to finish this.
在你说之前
Uh... before you say anything--
那晚我回家
After the other night, I went home,
用烟把我们俩毕业舞会
and I put a cigarette out on our prom picture.
和冬季舞会的合照都烧了
And our winter formal picture.
返校节的那张没烧
Not our homecoming picture,
因为那张我的发型很漂亮
'cause my hair looked fuckin' awesome.
我不想再想起你了
I never wanted to think about you again.
你让我非常火大
I was so pissed at you.
然后我开始担心你
Then I started worryin' about how you were doin',
这让我更火大
which pissed me off even more.
所以你怎么样混♥蛋♥
So, how you doin', you fuckin' asshole?
海瑟要把孩子生下来
Heather's keeping the baby.
天啊
Oh, my God!
能别再打击我了吗
Would you stop tellin' me things?
能不能就一次我来你家时
Can't I just come over here one time
只会听到"嘿我做了烤奶酪"
and the only news be, "Hey, I made a grilled cheese"?
对不起
I'm sorry.
我们到了诊所她
We just... We got to the clinic and she...
她又不想打胎了
she couldn't go through with it.
天啊柯尔特
Jesus, Colt.
这件事太狗血了
This whole thing is like a relentless shitstorm.
我该给出什么反应
How am I supposed to react to this?
我想的是 - 别打断我讲话
I was hoping... - Don't interrupt me!
最糟的是我都不能发飙
You know what the worst part is? I can't even be mad.
我要因为海瑟想生下孩子而发飙吗
Who am I gonna be mad at? Heather, for wanting to keep her baby?
对你呢因为你支持她而发飙吗
You, for wanting to support her?
生孩子的气那他妈可是个孩子
The baby? It's a fucking baby!
我明白这 - 我还没说完
I get that this-- - I'm not done! Okay?
这算什么
What's the deal, huh?
你跟
You're just gonna
另一个女人有了孩子而我要接受吗
have a kid with another woman and I'm supposed to go along with it?
说话啊
Well, say somethin'!
我不知道该说什么
I don't know what to say. I...
我爱你
I love you,
我想跟你在一起
and I wanna be with you,
可我知道现在状况有多糟
but I also... I get how messed up all this is.
的确
Yeah, it really is.
迎婴派对我不会送礼物的
I'm not gettin' you a fuckin' baby shower gift.
可以理解
That's fair.
那是奥利奥暴风雪吗
Is that an Oreo Blizzard?
是 - 给我
Yeah. - Give it to me.
你要软糖了吗 - 没有
Did you get the fudge core? - No.
你是最差劲儿的
You're the worst.
我们会渡过这关的
We'll get through this.
"我们"
"We"?
你没听到我前面说"我爱你"吗
Yeah, didn't you hear the part where I said "I love you"?
没有
No.
我听见了你说我是最差劲儿的
I heard the part where you said I was the worst.
这个嘛
Well...
我其实是想说我爱你
I meant I love you.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
你真是最差劲儿的
You're the worst.
话讲清楚这些吃的是酒吧的
Just to be clear, this food belongs to the bar.
只是暂时放在这里
It's only here temporarily.
你也一样
Same goes for you.
我也爱你老爸 - 滚开
Love you, too, Daddy. - Get away.
嘿
Hey.
怎么都是吃的东西
What's with all the food?
俄♥国♥人要来了吗要躲起来吗
Oh, shit. Are the Russians comin'? Are we hunkerin' down?
不蠢货酒吧发水冰柜短路了
No, dummy. The bar flooded, the freezer shorted,
我们正把酒吧的东西都搬到这儿来
so now we're moving all the shit over here.
老爸羞辱我老妈想把酒吧卖♥♥了
Dad's insultin' me, Mom wants to sell the bar...
要穿无袖衫
And if you're gonna wear a shirt like that,
你得好好练练手臂肌肉
you need to start doin' more curls.
等等你要卖♥♥酒吧
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you're sellin' the bar?
我还没想好
Oh, I don't know what I'm gonna do yet.
所以呢你要
So what? You gonna, like,
再买♥♥一间酒吧吗
buy another bar?
你是要来帮忙还是杵在那儿耍帅
Hey, you gonna help us? Or just stand there lookin' pretty?
我的帅是天生的
I mean, I can't stop lookin' pretty, so...
嘿还有我有事跟大家说
Oh, hey, uh, by the way... I got something I wanna tell everyone.
海瑟要把孩子生下来柯尔特要当爸爸了
Oh, hey, uh, Heather's keeping the baby. Colt's gonna be a dad.
搞什么老兄
What the fuck, dude?
我收到了玛丽的短♥信♥
I got a text from Mary.
我不想坏了爸妈的兴致我就是想抢你的风头
I didn't wanna ruin it for them. I did wanna ruin it for you.
天啊你要当爸爸了
Oh, my God, you're gonna be a dad!
是的
Yeah.
天啊你要当爸爸了
Oh, my God. You're gonna be a dad.
我也是这么说的
That's the same thing I said.
祝贺你柯尔特
Congratulations, Colt.
要是需要婴儿汽车座椅我这有些旧电♥话♥簿
I got some old phone books if you need a car seat.
我真替你开心听着
Yeah, I'm happy for you, dude. Now, look,
无论如何
whatever you do,
将来别让孩子给酋长队打球
don't let that kid grow up to play for the Chiefs.
还不知道是男是女呢 - 我只是想说
Come on. We don't know if it's gonna be a boy or a girl-- - I'm just sayin'.
去他妈的酋长队
Fuck the Chiefs.
最棒的是
Hey, uh, you know what the best part is?
艾比都没发飙
Abby ain't even mad.
她之前很火大火大到不行
I mean, well, she was. She was, like, really mad.
接着她就只是生气
And then she was only kind of mad,
现在就是有点生气而已
and now she's, like, just normal mad.
但她说跟我在一起就免不了这种事
But she says that's just part of datin' me.
当你老妈也是
Also a part of being your mother.
当你哥也是 - 当你♥爸♥也是
And your brother. - And your father.
顺便说一句老爸
Oh, by the way, Dad,
我明天有很多事要做
I got a bunch of stuff I gotta do tomorrow,
所以不能跟你一起去买♥♥牛了
so I don't think I can go to that cattle auction with you.
我没关系
Fine with me.
我只求副驾驶的座位上放着我的散♥弹♥枪♥就好
The only thing I want riding shotgun with me is my shotgun.
你要去拍卖♥♥会对吗 - 对
You're going to that auction, aren't you? - Yeah.
你们俩应该一块儿去
Well, you guys should go together.
什么 - 没门儿
What? - Fuck that.
你们俩闹别扭真是蠢透了
What's going on between you two, it's stupid.
分别开两部车都开四个小时
It's just ridiculous to drive four hours
去同一个地方简直不可理喻
in two trucks when you're going to the same damn place.
别胡闹了成熟点
Stop this nonsense and act like grown men.
我明早8点到这儿
Fine. I'll be here at 8:00.
5点半 - 该死
5:30. - Shit.
爸路面结冰了或许5点出发好点
Dad, the roads are really icy. You should probably leave at 5:00.
好主意
Great idea.
那5点见
See you at 5:00.
谢谢混♥蛋♥
Thanks, asshole.
对我不是想整他
Yeah, I didn't wanna ruin it for him.
是想整你
I did want to ruin it for you.
在装新车窗吗 - 对
Installing some new windows? - Yeah.
去艾比餐厅的免下车点餐道时我把旧的弄破了
I had to punch out the old ones at the Arby's drive-thru.
免得我忘了
Before I forget,
这是我出门后你要做的事情清单
here's a to-do list for while I'm gone.
"别乱来"
"Don't fuck up."
我觉得叫禁做的事情清单更贴切
I guess it's more of a to-don't list.
比如"别把我的牧场搞得乌烟瘴气"
As in "To-don't fuck up my ranch."
别担心我会把活儿都干完的
Don't worry. I'll get all my work done.