牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E01

Part 3 June 24, 2021, 11:36 a.m.

公鸡
Rooster.
我们去给祖母点支蜡吧
What do you say we go light a candle for Grandma Bennett?
她死于火灾
She died in a fire.
这么做似乎不太恰当但好吧
Seems a little insensitive, but okay.
詹妮斯在大章克申住得怎么样
So, uh, Janice, how do you like living in Grand Junction?
非常棒
Oh, it's really exciting.
那里有家印度餐厅和泰国餐厅
We have an Indian restaurant and a Thai place.
我喜欢那家泰国餐厅
I love the Thai place.
那家店的菜分为一到十级辣
They have a spiciness scale from one to ten.
我喜欢吃二级辣
I take a two.
要是喝了玫瑰香葡萄酒那我就
Unless I've had rosé, and then I
敢吃三♥级♥辣了
bump it up to a three.
我们非常喜欢
We enjoy it.
他们还允许查克把温蒂快餐带进餐厅
They let Chuck bring in his Wendy's.
怎么了 - 行了
What's up? - All right.
你不许告诉任何人
You can't tell anyone.
那就要看了
We shall see.
拜托我是认真的
No, come on. I'm serious.
海瑟怀孕了 - 真见鬼
Heather's pregnant. - Holy fuck!
我爱耶稣
Do I love Jesus!
她要生下来吗
Is she gonna keep it?
当然了
Of course she is.
总是有其他办法的
I'm just saying, there's always an option.
不没有不可能上帝
No, there's not. That ain't happenin'. God.
别在上帝面前提那个
And don't talk about you-know-what in front of you-know-who.
对
Oh, right.
世界上最有名的意外怀孕
The world's most famous unplanned pregnancy.
他不会介意的
I'm sure he'll be fine with it.
该死你告诉艾比了吗
Damn. Did you tell Abby?
还没有
Not yet.
我去说行吗就当是我的圣诞礼物
Can I? It'd be my Christmas gift.
别扯了我都慌死了
Will you knock it off, man? I'm freaking out.
好吧抱歉我明白了
Fine. I'm sorry. I get it.
听着我支持你好吗
Look, I got your back, all right?
你要跑路那我就来开车
You want to skip town? I'll drive the car.
你要想把孩子生下来我就
You want to keep it? I'll just, you know...
教孩子打猎和丢橄榄球
teach the kid how to hunt and throw a football
以及所有你干不好的事
and all the other shit you're terrible at.
谢谢 - 好了
Thanks. - All right.
没事的好吗
It's gonna be fine, all right?
听着
Look...
世上又要多一个本奈特了这没什么不好
world gets another Bennett. Nothing wrong with that.
我们该回去了
We should probably head back.
嗯
Yeah.
嘿还有件事
Oh, hey, one more thing.
我晚点给你打电♥话♥
I'm gonna call you later tonight.
你要装成是佩顿曼宁或棒约翰
I need you to pretend to be either Peyton Manning or Papa John.
没问题
Not a problem.
玛丽
Mary.
玛丽
Mary.
玛丽 - 我会捅了你的贱♥人♥
Mary! - I'll cut you, bitch!
该死抱歉
Oh, shit. Sorry.
冷静是我
Easy, it's me.
你又做那个监狱的梦了 - 不是是家人团圆
You havin' that prison dream again? - No, family reunion.
公平说我们那晚都进了监狱
To be fair, we did all end up in jail that night anyway.
你来干什么
What are you doing here?
这个嘛
Well...
我给卢克准备了圣诞礼物
I got Luke his Christmas present.
哦天啊开什么玩笑
Oh, my God! Are you kidding?
如果卢克觉得圣诞节会收到自行车
Look, if Luke thinks he's gettin' a bike for Christmas,
那他就会收到
he's gettin' a bike for Christmas.
我从没见过你这么关心别人
I have never seen you so sensitive.
挺性感的
It's kind of sexy.
是吗
Really?
孩子们什么时候起床
What time you think the kids are gettin' up?
亲爱的孩子们下楼来是想看到礼物
Baby, when those kids come downstairs, they want to see presents.
而不是看到外婆在沙发上打炮
They don't want to see their grandma gettin' railed on the couch.
好吧但你欠我一次高♥潮♥
Fine, but you owe me one orgasm.
你欠我十次
Mmm, you owe me ten.
真的太贴心了卢克会高兴死的
Seriously, this is so sweet. Luke is gonna lose his mind.
平安夜哪儿有卖♥♥自行车的
Where did you find a bike in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve?
你真想知道
You really want to know?
如果是我就告诉你
Because I'll tell you if you really want to know.
还是把写着"凯尔"的车牌拿掉吧
No, just, uh, take the license plate that says "Kyle" off the back.
明天好好享受你的头盔凯尔
Have fun with your helmet tomorrow, Kyle.
你怎么起这么早
What are you doin' up so early?
你睡觉的时候我把牛喂了
I was feedin' cattle while you were sleepin' in.
在圣诞节一大早 - 是的
You did that on Christmas mornin'? - Yeah.
牛又不知道今天是圣诞节
Well, the cows don't know it's Christmas.
听起来像是我说的话
Sounds like somethin' I'd say.
正是你每年圣诞都说
Yeah, you do. Every Christmas.
我有东西给你
I got a little somethin' for you.
书吗
A book?
老爸我不知道你是不是了解我
Dad, I'm not sure you know me so well.
打开就是了
Just open it.
是所有关于我的报道
It's, like, every article ever written about me.
是啊我也不知道自己还能
Yeah, well... I figure I got a lot more Christmases behind me
再过多少个圣诞节了所以
than I do in front of me, so...
就做了这个
there you are.
你花多长时间做的
How long you been workin' on this?
只是
I mean, it's just...
真的很出人意料
really unexpected.
只要有胶水和报纸就行
It's just glue and newspapers.
还有橄榄球贴纸
And little football stickers.
你到底想不想要
You want the fuckin' thing or not?
"柯尔特本奈特年度最佳球员"
"Colt Bennett: Pop Warner Player of the Year."
"奈特带领野马队夺冠"
"Bennett Leads Mustangs to State Championship."
"本地明星球员签约佛州球队"
"Local Star Recruited by Florida State."
"佛州警方用电击枪击倒本地明星球员"
"Local Star Gets Tased by Florida State Trooper."
到这里就没有了
Stop there.
谢谢
Thank you.
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
听着我不爱跟人聊私生活
Look, I don't like talkin' to people about their personal lives.
我根本不爱跟人聊天
I don't like talkin' to people at all.
但我有话要说
But I got to say somethin'.
艾比和海瑟都是好女孩
Abby and Heather are both fine young women
值得善待
who deserve to be treated with respect.
好的
Okay.
不知道你想说什么
Not sure what you're gettin' at there.
海瑟昨晚来干什么
What was Heather doin' here last night?
不我没背着艾比出轨
Oh. No, no, no. I'm... I'm not cheatin' on Abby.
那好很好
All right, good.
海瑟怀孕了
Heather's pregnant.
孩子是我的
It's mine.
所以我才不爱跟人聊天
This is why I don't like talkin' to people.
那你打算怎么办
So... what's the plan?
我没想过
I don't have one.
昨晚我本打算跟艾比求婚的
Last night, I... I was gonna propose to Abby.
从十五岁起我就有这个打算
I mean, that's always been the plan since I was 15.
赢超级碗
I was gonna win a Super Bowl,
娶艾比买♥♥水上摩托车
marry Abby and then buy a sweet Jet Ski.
儿子你 - 听着
Son, you-- - Look, I...
我知道橄榄球梦已经破碎了可是
I get that my football dreams are gone, but...
我跟艾比复合了
I got back with Abby.
一切都在轨道上
So, it's like everything was on track.
可现在呢我该怎么办
But... now what? What am I supposed to do?
我要
Do I...
忘了艾比跟海瑟在一起吗
forget about Abby and go be with Heather?
还是继续跟艾比在一起
Or do I stay with Abby
让海瑟把孩子生下来
while Heather's having my kid?