牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S02E05

Part 4 June 24, 2021, 11:37 a.m.

And I just happened to trip 'cause I was drunk.
随便吧我可不需要废柴的建议
Whatever. I'm not takin' advice from a fuck-up.
我是废柴去你的
Oh, I'm a fuck-up? Fuck you.
以前我跟我哥劳尔也总吵架
Man, my brother Raul and I used to fight all the time.
有个<超凡蜘蛛侠>的枕头
We had this Amazing Spider-Man pillow
我们都喜欢枕着睡觉
that we both liked to sleep with.
有天晚上他说轮到他用了
One night, he said it was his turn,
我说是轮到我了
I said it was mine...
他用两根拇指抠我眼睛
and he took both of his thumbs and pressed them against my eyes,
想要挖出来
trying to gouge them out.
幼稚
Kids.
要是他想毁了自己的人生随便他
Whatever. If he wants to ruin his life, let him.
别碰我
Get the fuck off me, bro.
怎么你想被公鸡揍吗
What? You want some of the Rooster?
该死
Ah, shit.
小心眼睛混♥蛋♥
Cover your eyes, motherfucker!
嘿
Hey.
嘿
Hey.
你的"不是约会的约会" 怎么样
How was your "Not a date"?
挺有趣的
Well, it was interesting.
我坐的是
I'm sittin' there at a place
我们俩以前常坐的位置
where you and I have been a thousand times before,
想着你总点
and I'm thinkin' about how you always
肋眼牛排和沙拉
ordered the rib eye and a salad.
但你不喜欢土豆泥
But you didn't want the mashed potatoes,
所以我会点双人份的
so I'd order double...
因为等东西上桌了
'cause when the food came,
一半就被你吃了
you'd always eat half of mine.
我不是每次都那样
I didn't do that every time.
不有时候你会把整份土豆泥都吃了
No. Sometimes you ate all the potatoes.
我要说的是
Point is...
跟布兰达吃饭挺开心的
I had a good time with Brenda.
她聪明风趣漂亮
She's smart, she's funny, she's good-lookin'.
但她不是你
But she's not you.
不是我
Not me?
所以说呢就是我一条都不占喽
So what do you mean, I'm none of those things?
这些你都有
You're all of those things.
而且更胜
And more.
不如写进信里多愁善感的老家伙
Why don't you put it in a letter, you old sap.
40年玛姬
40 years, Mags.
我要怎么才能接受其他人
How am I supposed to be with anybody else?
博你要忘记过去的40年
Beau, you gotta stop looking back at the last 40,
展望接下来的20年
and start looking ahead at the next 20.
天啊我可不能再这么过20年了
Oh, good God, I can't do this for another 20 years.
这你比我更擅长玛姬
You're just better at this stuff than I am, Maggie.
不不是
No, I am not.
我不知道自己在干什么
I have no idea what I'm doing.
我只是尽力
I'm just trying my best.
六个月之后会比现在好
In six months, it'll be easier than it is today.
再六个月之后
And six months after that, who knows,
也许我就会给你介绍我的新男朋友了
maybe I'll be introducing you to my new boyfriend.
一个吃素心胸开阔的瑜伽教练
A vegan, liberal, yoga teacher.
要是你想激我你成功了
If you're trying to piss me off, it's workin'.
没事因为我的新男朋友
Well, that's okay, 'cause my new boyfriend
会教你如何放松的
will teach you poses to help you relax.
佩茜克莱恩
Patsy Cline.
对我今晚也想你了
Yeah, I was thinking about you tonight, too.
好啊
Why not?
你觉得你那个开普锐斯
You think your Prius-drivin',
练瑜伽相信气候变化的男朋友
yoga-posin', climate-change-believin' boyfriend
能这样跳舞吗
will be able to dance like this?
特雷弗的脚步很轻盈
Oh, Trevor is very light on his feet.
特雷弗
Trevor?
是啊这样刚好
Yeah, that's about right.
喂
Hello?
真的吗
Are you serious?
你没事吧
Are you all right?
好吧我们这就来
Okay. Hang tight.
不我不会告诉你♥爸♥的拜
No, I won't tell your father anything. Bye.
孩子们在酒吧打架了
Boys got in a bar fight.
他们没事但被抓了
They're fine, but they're both in jail.
好吧
All right.
好吧
Well?
我了解流程老兄没事
I know the drill, bud, easy.
你给老爸打电♥话♥了
Did you call Dad?
没有给老妈打了
Fuck no. Called Mom.
上次给老爸打时
Last time I called Dad,
他说"打错了" 然后就直接挂了
he said, "Wrong number," And hung up.
我给玛丽打了电♥话♥ 她气坏了
I called Mary. She was super pissed.
太扯了
Which is kinda bullshit
因为以前保她时我可没生气
'cause I wasn't mad at her when I had to bail her out.
怎么打起来的
How'd the fight start, anyway?
有个家伙嘲笑我的头发
One of those dudes made fun of my hair,
所以我动手打了他
so I punched him in the neck.
真的假的
Seriously?
不看我谁会嘲笑这么帅的人
No. Look at me. Who's gonna make fun of this?
是那几个牛仔嘲笑伯托
It was those cowboys, man, makin' fun of Berto.
拿他是墨西哥人说事
Talkin' about his kind.
我说 "真好笑
I was like, "Oh, yeah, that's real funny, dude.
看我把你牙打断时有多好笑"
See how funny it is when I knock out your fuckin' teeth."
但愿那人的同伴也是种族主义者
I hope his buddy was a racist too,
因为我可是把他揍得不轻
'cause I beat the shit out of him.
可不是嘛
Yeah, you did.
怎么样伯托 - 嘿
'Sup, Berto? - Hey!
你拍照时摆了什么姿势
What'd you do for your mugshot?
我摆的是007
I went 007.
我比了两根中指
Oh, oh, oh! I went double bird.
我反省了自己所有的不好
Oh, I reflected on all my bad decisions.
这样也行
That's one way to go.
不用担心牛的事
Hey, don't worry about them cows, all right?
我们一出去就给它们打标签
We'll tag 'em when we get outta here.
各位 - 嘿
Fellas. - Hey.
啤酒桶你的胳膊怎么了 - 你好啊
Beer Pong! What happened to your arm? - What's up, boss?
追犯人时弄伤了
Hurt it in a police chase.
妈呀银行劫匪
Oh, shit! Was it like a bank robbery,
还是毒贩子
or a drug raid, or somethin'?
差不多吧
Sort of.
我发现几个青少年在公园里喝啤酒
I found some teenagers in the park drinking beer.
追他们时被跷跷板绊倒了
Chased them and tripped over a teeter-totter.
听着伯托遇到点小麻烦
Listen, Berto's in a little bit of trouble.
怎么了 - 他要被驱逐出境了
What's goin' on? - He's being deported.
你是非法移♥民♥
You're illegal?
你怎么不告诉我们
Why didn't you tell us?
又不是什么好事
There's no upside to it.
公鸡我们每天都惶惶恐恐的
Gallo, we live in fear every day.
超速八公里
You know, five miles over the speed limit,
就能断了我们的后路
and it could ruin our life.
何苦让你们也跟着提心吊胆的
Why would I wanna put that on you, too?
因为我们是你的朋友
'Cause we're your friends.
我还一直觉得你车开得像个娘们
Yeah. Plus this whole time I just thought you drove like a pussy.
很抱歉伯托这事我控制不了
I'm sorry, Berto. It's out of my hands.
不太扯了
No. No, this is... this is bullshit.
要抓就该抓
You wanna take someone,
酒吧里挑事儿的那些家伙
you should take them assholes from down at the bar.
柯尔特柯尔特
Colt. Colt.
我明白
I understand.
不去他的
No, no! Fuck this.
要抓他就连我一起抓
You're gonna take him, you're takin' me, too.
还有我
Yeah, and you're takin' me, too.
我是说这样也行
I mean, I guess I can.
反正上面也不在乎被驱逐的是谁