不期而至（2010）

Life Unexpected S01E10

Part 5 Dec. 5, 2020, 8:10 a.m.

you're never gonna be straight with Cate and Baze
你就永远不会跟凯特和贝斯坦诚以对
and then you'll be right back
那么6个月后你会重新
on my couch six months from now.
坐在这张沙发上就像现在这样
So when you say that Cate wasn't there for you,
所以当你说凯特当时没有帮你
tell her what you mean.
告诉她你的想法
Where were you?
你当时在哪儿
What?
什么
I was out there my whole life.
我一生都在外漂泊
Where were you all that time?
一直以来你在哪儿
You never even checked.
你甚至都没去核实一下
You never wondered what had happened?
你从来都不想知道我的情况
If I was okay?
我过的好不好吗
I didn't really think that I had to worry.
我从未想过我需要担心这个
You know, because they told me that you were gonna be adopted.
因为当时他们告诉我你会被收养
That you were gonna have a better life.
你会生活得很好
I really, I really thought
我真的真的以为
that I was doing what was right for you.
我所做的都是为了你好
It wasn't for me.
这不是为了我好
If it was for me, you would have checked.
如果是为我好你会去核实一下的
No, you did it for you.
你是为了你自己好
You did the right thing for you.
你所做的是为了你自己
Lux, it's not all on Cate.
莱克丝这不全是凯特的错
I wasn't there exactly, either.
准确的说我也没有守护着你
Yeah, but you didn't know.
是的但是你并不知情
And no one who knew you
而且也没人指望
would have expected you to be there.
你能来守护我
I was 16 years old.
我当时才16岁
I didn't have anyone to turn to.
我不知道该向谁求助
You know, my mother,
你知道的我妈妈
she was drinking her way through another divorce.
当时因为离婚喝酒喝得昏天黑地
I even wrote a letter to my father,
我甚至还写了封信给我爸爸
but when I realized that I didn't know where to send it,
但是当我意识到不知道该把信
you know, that's when it hit me.
寄到哪儿时我几乎崩溃了
I had no idea what a good parent was.
我根本不知道什么是好父母
There was just no way that I could be one, not at 16.
也根本不可能当个好父母至少16岁时不能
Then what about a few years after that?
那在这之后的几年呢
When I was three and stuck in a hospital where no one visited?
当我3岁那年孤单地躺在医院里的时候
Or two years after that
还有5岁
when my foster mom shoved me into a wall
被继母推得撞墙摔倒
and told the social worker that I fell off a swing.
而她却告诉社工是我自己没站稳的时候
Where were you?
你在哪儿
We used to make up these stories about why we were given up.
我们总是在帮你们找抛弃我们的理由
Because we didn't want to believe that our parents,
因为我们不相信我们的父母
our mothers could hold us, their babies,
我们的妈妈会在抱过我们之后
and just give us up.
狠心地把我们丢下
But you did.
但是你这么做了
You gave me away to nothing,
你无缘无故地抛弃了我
like I didn't matter to you because I didn't.
就像我完全不重要因为我的确不重要
No, no, Lux, you do.
不是莱克丝你很重要
You matter now.
现在你很重要
No, Lux,
不莱克丝
you matter, you do, you matter now, Lux.
你很重要现在你很重要莱克丝
No, now it doesn't count.
不现在不算
I-I'm sorry.
很抱歉
I don't forgive you, Cate.
我不能原谅你凯特
I don't.
我不能
I know it doesn't feel like it,
我知道你们可能并不这么认为
but what you had today was a breakthrough.
但是今天你们之间已经有所突破了
Trust me, I've seen other kids
相信我我看过别的孩子
have moments of honesty like this,
也会这样吐露心声
and that's usually when things take a turn for the better.
然后情况总是会有所好转
I know that you tried to shoulder the blame,
我知道你们在努力承担这些指责
but it doesn't belong with you.
但是这不是你们的错
I'm not going to remove Lux from your care.
我不会剥夺你们对莱克丝的监护权
If anything, this shows me
如果说你们让我看到了什么
that you're a real family,
那就是一个真正的家庭里
with all the bumps and bruises that a teenager brings,
青春期的孩子带来的冲撞和摩擦
like anyone.
和其他任何家庭一样
And as far as I'm concerned,
现在我所要考虑的是
you two should start the process
你们俩应该着手处理
of having your parental rights reinstated.
重新行使监护权的法律程序
Really?
真的吗
Is there really a chance of that?
我们真的有机会吗
In my opinion, yes.
在我看来是的
I can see how much she means to you
我能看得出她对你们是多么重要
and that all three of you are committed to making this work,
今天的结果是你们三人一起努力得到的
maybe Lux most of all.
也许莱克丝做出了最大的努力
That was a hard thing she did, saying that.
坦诚说出这些对她来说的确不容易
She risked losing you all over again.
她得冒着再次失去所有的风险
She never has to worry about that. Ever.
她根本不用担心这点的永远不用
You don't have to convince me.
你们不用让我信服这点
Convince Lux.
让莱克丝信服
Lux, you there?
莱克丝你在吗
Can we talk?
我们能谈谈吗
I'm gonna put an envelope under the door.
我把信封放在门口
Just... take a look, okay?
你能看看吗
What's wrong?
怎么了
I need your help.
我需要帮助
You know, Lux says that she can't forgive me
莱克丝说她不能原谅我
for giving her up.
不能原谅我抛弃了她
And I can't really get through. Neither can Baze.
我解决不了这个问题贝斯也不行
And so I was thinking, you know,
所以我在想
as another person that can't forgive me
作为另外一位没法原谅我的人
that maybe, um, you could talk to her.
也许你能跟她谈谈
You can't keep coming to me like this.
你不能总因为这样的事来找我
Yeah, I know.
是的我知道
Um... I'm sorry.
很抱歉
I know it's not fair.
我知道这对你不公平
Well, can I at least just tell you something?
我能再告诉你一件事吗
I never told anyone this before.
我从来没跟别人说过
I never held Lux after she was born.
莱克丝出生后我从来没抱过她
You know, the nurses, they wanted me to.
护士说我该抱抱她
They kept bringing her in to me, but...
她们总是带她来看我但是
I knew that if I held her, I'd want her.
我知道我一旦抱了她就会想留住她
And I couldn't let myself.
我控制不了自己
So I pushed her away.
所以我把她推开
And I have done that my entire life...
我一直推开
with everyone.
身边的每个人
Until recently.
直到最近
I mean, Ryan, I know that you say that I have to change,
瑞安你说我必须得改变
but what you don't realize is that I have changed.
但是你没察觉到我已经改变了
I mean, I started to change
从莱克丝回到我身边开始
the moment that Lux came back into my life,
我就开始改变了
because for the first time in my life,
因为我第一次
I saw a possibility.
看到了可能
You know, for the first time in my life I saw...
我人生中第一次看到了...
I saw a dream that I wasn't afraid to want.
看到了我有勇气去争取的梦想
And I'm not saying that I changed overnight,
我不是说我在一夜间转变了
it has been slow, and I have made a lot of mistakes.
转变的过程很慢我也犯下很多错误
I know that I lied to you about Baze.
我知道贝斯的事我骗了你
I know that that was wrong. It was beyond wrong.
我知道我错了错得很离谱
But at the time, I thought I had to
那时候我以为我别无选择
or I would lose you.
否则就会失去你
And it wasn't just about losing you.
不光是失去你
It was about losing the person
同时也是失去了那个
that I was becoming with you.
在你身边默默改变的自己
And Lux.
还有莱克丝
I wanted to be a family.
我想有个完整的家
You know, but so much has happened.
但是发生了这么多事
I don't expect you to understand or forgive me.
我不奢望你理解我或是原谅我