不期而至（2010）

Life Unexpected S01E09

Part 5 Dec. 5, 2020, 8:09 a.m.

some Zima. The next thing you know,
喝点齐玛酒紧接着下来
you've got a crazy chick tracking you down
就是有个抓狂的少女
on a football field
在足球场逮住你
holding a stick that she peed on.
手里握着个她测过的验孕棒
Baze, stop.
贝斯住口
I am not Cate and Jones isn't you.
我不是凯特而且琼斯也不是你
What are we talking about?
我们这是在说什么
This.
这个
I found this on the floor, right where Romeo was standing.
我在家找到的就在这位情圣刚才站的地方
Baze, that's not mine.
贝斯那不是我的
No, no, no, no, no. It's Mr. Bazile now.
不不不不现在得尊称我贝斯勒先生
Okay, can we just drop this?
我们不能直接扔了它吗
Drop this? No, he's the one that dropped this.
扔了这是他落下的东西
And it's a good thing.
幸好有这个
Otherwise, I wouldn't know that you were trying
不然我还不知道他企图用甜言蜜语糊弄我
to sweet-talk me and devirginize my kid.
然后背着我玷污我的孩子
There was no devirginizing, okay?
不是你想的那样好不好
That speech that you and Abby gave me?
你和艾比教育我的那些
A little too late.
晚了一点
Wait. What speech?
等等什么教育
Why-why-why are we talking about my sister?
怎么会会跟我妹妹扯上关系
You're not a virgin?
你不是处♥女♥了
I had a boyfriend...
我有过男朋友
named Bug that I was going to live with.
叫布格我本来要和他住在一起的
Okay, why are we talking about virgins
好了怎么一下谈到了处♥女♥
and Abby and sex?
艾比还有性
This guy, right here.
就是他
It's not his condom.
这不是他的避孕套
Bug's back, okay?
布格回来了
That's Bug's?
这是布格的
I'm, uh, gonna...
我我先
When-when was this? Today?
什么时候发生的今天
Right before that stupid sex talk with Abby
就在你和艾比无聊的性教育之前
where she ruined everything.
她坏了我们的好事
Will somebody please
请问有没有人
tell me what the hell we are talking about?
告诉我到底在说些什么
Baze asked Abby for help
贝斯要艾比帮助他
because he didn't want you to think that he was in over his head.
免得让你认为他当不好爸爸
Last week, "How not to set your kid up on a blind date."
上周 "为何不帮你的孩子相个亲呢"
This week, "How to pawn a sex talk off" on someone
这周 "如何对无知的孩子实施性教育"
who knows even less to someone who doesn't even need it."
针对我这个根本不需要性教育的人
So don't worry, Cate.
所以凯特你不用担心
In the Parent of the Year category,
在年度最佳父母榜上
Baze is batting a big, fat zero, too.
贝斯一定也抱个大零蛋
All right. Well, so then, just to recap,
好了现在我来做个总结
since you've had Lux,
自从莱克丝住你那儿后
you've manipulated her into going out with Jones,
你安排她和琼斯的约会
you got my nutball sister to give her a sex talk,
让我的无厘头妹妹对她进行性教育
and, oh, now? Now, when she finally goes out
现在呢现在他们终于按你的意愿
with the guy you hook her up with,
出来约会了
you ruin it.
你又亲自毁了它
Great. Well, suddenly, I'm feeling
太好了突然间
like less of a parenting failure.
我做母亲的不觉得很失败了
Oh, look, it's not a competition, Cate,
凯特弄清楚这不是比赛
and if it were, you win. Okay?
如果是你赢了行了吧
You've got the good job. You've got the nice house.
你有个体面的工作有一座大房♥子
You've got the bank account. You got everything.
还有不少积蓄你什么都有了
Everything?
什么都有了
Where's Lux? Where's Ryan?
我的莱克丝呢我的瑞安呢
It's not like it's my fault.
别说得像我的错
You haven't exactly helped.
你总是在添乱
What else do you want to blame for?
是不是什么都怪罪我
Cate?
凯特
It's raining outside.
外面下雨了
It's Baze's fault. Your car doesn't start?
是贝斯的错车子熄火了
Blame Baze.
都怪贝斯
Listen. I am not the root of all your problems.
听着我不是你所有问题的根源
Really?
是吗
Because it feels like you ruined my life back then,
当初你毁了我的人生
and somehow, lately, you show up everywhere I am,
最近又莫名其妙出现在我面前
and you ruin it again.
再次毁了我的人生
It's been 16 years. Let it go.
16年前的事了过去就过去了
I mean, isn't there some sort of "Statue" Of limitations
你想惩罚我多久
on how long you can punish me for it?
有没有失效性
It's statute, you idiot!
是时效性你个白♥痴♥
Whatever.
管他的
And it's not just that, okay?
不仅仅是这些
I heard you. What you said
我们上♥床♥之后
to your stupid friends after we slept together.
你跟你那群呆瓜朋友说的话我都听见了
What are you talking about?
你在说什么
It was the Monday after.
那是事后的星期一
You were standing outside of homeroom.
你站在教室外边
And somebody asked you if we hooked up.
有人问你我们是不是上♥床♥了
You said the only way that you would ever hook up with me
你说只有一种情况下会和我上♥床♥
was if I had a bag over my head and tape over my mouth,
就是当我的头被蒙住嘴被封住
so you wouldn't have to look at my face or listen to me.
这样你就不用看我的脸听我的叫声
I mean, it's no wonder I have a job in radio.
怪不得我在电台找到工作
Cate. I'm sorry.
凯特对不起
You know that's not true, right?
你知道那不是真的对吧
I mean, look at you.
好好看看你自己
I shouldn't have said it. I didn't mean it.
我不应该那么说我不是有心的
Yes, you did.
但是你说了
Did you know that after we slept together,
知道吗跟你上了床之后
I actually thought we were gonna date?
我还真以为我们会约会
Then I called my friend Missy, and I told her that...
我给我朋友米西打电♥话♥ 跟她说
you know, I thought I might actually have a boyfriend.
我就要有一个男朋友了
And then I heard what you said.
之后就听见你说的那些话
You didn't even see me standing there.
你甚至都不知道我就站在那里
It was like I didn't even exist.
就像我根本不存在
I just felt totally, completely alone,
我只是觉得我像这世界上最大的傻瓜
like the biggest idiot.
孤立无援
Kind of like now I am back in this high school,
现在我又好似回到了高中
waiting for this one person to make me feel
傻傻的等着一个能让我觉得
like I'm actually worth something.
自己并非是个无足轻重的人
Like I mean something to them.
好像我对他们来说很重要
Cate.
凯特
Cate, you are worth something to me.
凯特你确实对我很重要
What?
什么
Wait. What? What?
等下你说什么
No. I'm talking about Lux.
不我说的是莱克丝
Not you. Okay?
不是你好不好
She's who I want.
她才是我想要的
She's what will make me feel better.
她才能让我觉得好过一点
All right? God, I am 32 years old.
天哪我都32岁了
I'm not sitting around,
我已经不再是那个无所事事
looking for your approval.
只想得到你赞许的可怜虫了
Okay, I get it.
好吧我懂了
I got it. Jeez. That.
我明白了天哪这个
That is why I wanted the tape.
这就是为什么我想封住你的嘴的原因了
You've got to stop screaming at me.
你可不可以不要再对我吼了
I was trying to make you feel better, Cate.
凯特我只不过想安慰你
I was trying to show you that I'm not the same guy anymore.
我只是想告诉你我已经变了
Once again, you act like you're God's gift to the universe!
你又表现得好像你是上帝派来的救星
And I am nothing!
而我一无是处
You think you're not the same guy anymore?
你觉得自己和以往不同了
I mean, you haven't changed a bit.
在我看来你一点都没变
It's such a joke. You can find another date.
可笑至极你还可以找别的舞伴
Jones, hey.
琼斯
Jones, I'm-I'm sorry.
琼斯我很抱歉
You know what? I'm taking off.
不必解释我要走了