绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S03E21

Part 4 Oct. 22, 2019, 11:11 a.m.

的确那就糟了
That's right. Shoot.
我只好把可怜的小芬威送回收♥容♥所♥了
I'm gonna have to take poor little Fenway back to the pound.
不要为什么不能在家里养
No! Why can't I keep him here?
你不能常来
Well, you don't visit here very often.
我一个人也没法独自照顾小狗
And I can't take care of a dog all by myself.
我不知道该怎么办了
Well, I don't know what else to do.
要不我常来看你
Why can't I just visit you more?
这想法不错卡洛斯也会开心的
Hey, that's a thought. And Carlos would love it, too.
当然不知道
Of course, I don't know
你♥爸♥爸会不会同意共同监护
how your father will feel about joint custody.
我去跟他谈告诉他我想要共同监护
I'll talk to him. I'll tell him I want it.
真的吗那太棒了
Really? Well, that would be great.
但最好让他知道
But you better make sure that
这全是你的主意好吗
he knows that it was all your idea, OK?
距离温泉还有三小时路程
We're three hours from the hot springs.
如果我们明天一大早就出发
So if we get an early start tomorrow,
中午应该可以到那儿
we should be there by lunch.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
做面膜薰衣草蜂蜜面膜你要吗
It's a face mask. It's lavender and honey. You want some?
有蜂蜜
Honey, huh?
你要在树林中
You're in the middle of the woods
往脸上涂熊的食物吗
getting ready to smear your face with bear food?
我想让麦克见到我时漂亮点
Well, I wanted to look nice for Mike.
上帝都知道我不想再听你的这些话了
Lord knows I don't want to hear you talk about this anymore,
但是
but...
你究竟觉得你们俩见着后
What exactly do you think is gonna happen
又能怎么样
with you and this guy?
我会向他道歉
Well, I'm going to apologize
然后我跟他说我犯了一个天大的错误
and then I'm gonna tell him that I made a huge mistake.
不是不是这之后呢
No, no, no. After that.
假设他接受了你的道歉你们重新在一起了
Say he accepts your apology, you get back together,
然后又会怎样
and then what happens?
你懂的在新鲜感消失殆尽后
You know, after the novelty wears off.
我们会过上幸福的生活
Well, then we'll just be happy.
虽然天很黑但我看得到你
OK. I know it's dark, but I can see you.
听完你跟麦克的整个故事
Look, after hearing your whole history with Mike,
傻瓜都能看出问题在哪里
it doesn't take a genius to figure out the problem.
-出在哪里 -你
- What is it? - You.
你不想过得幸福你有戏剧癖
You don't want to be happy. You're a drama junkie.
如果故事没有戏剧性你就创造情节
When there is no drama, you create it.
你跟前夫上♥床♥
You sleep with your ex-husband,
你背叛昏迷不醒的伤者
you cheat on a coma victim,
现在你又跑到山上
and now you're hiking up a mountain
见一个根本不知道你会跟来的人
after a guy who has no idea you're coming!
谁知道呢说不定这人会把你带回去
Who knows? Maybe this guy will take you back.
但等到一切尘埃落定你又开始折腾
But once the dust settles, you'll kick up some more,
因为你根本不知道怎样把握幸福
because you don't know how to just be happy.
你都不认识我凭什么那样说我
You don't even know me. How dare you talk to me like that.
又是戏剧化我睡觉了
Oh, so dramatic. I'm gonna turn in now.
好了阳光我们出发吧
All right, sunshine, let's get moving.
我不需要你的"帮助"了我自己去找麦克
你把我的装备带下山去苏珊
你看什么
What are you looking at?
我的城市仿佛我第一次看到它
My city. It's like I'm seeing it for the first time.
今非昔比
It looks different
如今我是美景镇的第♥一♥夫♥人♥
now that I'm first lady of Fairview.
你不是叫自己"美景镇第♥一♥夫♥人♥"吧
You didn't just call yourself "first lady of Fairview."
行了行了瞧瞧这是谁呀
Well, well, well. Who do we have here?
你难道不想用一下权威去修理那家伙吗
Wouldn't you love to rub his nose in your new power?
韦恩你真讨厌
Vern, you're just awful.
我还真要这么干
And as it happens, so am I.
加布别这样我说笑来着
Gabby, come on. I was just joking.
女士你不能把车停在消防栓旁
Hey, lady, that's a hydrant. You can't park there.
是吗可我已经停了
Really? Because I just did.
-又是你 -加布
- You again. - Gabby...
站一边去好好欣赏大屠♥杀♥
Just stand back and enjoy the carnage.
谢谢现在我要给你一个大惊喜
Thank you. Now, what you're about to see may astound you.
我可以再给你开一张乱扔垃圾的罚单
You know, I could give you another ticket for littering.
你试试看不过你也许不会的
You could try, but you might not want to.
看我跟维克多·朗订婚了
See, I'm engaged to Victor Lang.
想起来了吗市长你的新老板
Ring a bell? The mayor? Your new boss?
政♥治♥跟我无关
I don't follow politics.
大屠♥杀♥开始时提醒我一声
Let me know when the carnage begins
我好遮住双眼
so I can shield my eyes.
听着伙计你还没明白过来
Listen, buddy! You're not getting it!
立刻回答我
You answer to me now!
我可以直接开除你
I could have you fired!
你无所不能
You can't do nothing!
我可以为所欲为
I can do whatever I want!
其实作为美景镇第♥一♥夫♥人♥
In fact, my first official act of business
首个官方举措
as Mayoress of Fairview...
就是宣布今天是"免费停车日"
is to declare today "Free parking day!"
住手
Hey, knock that off. Hey!
-免费停车 -把它给我
- Free parking! - Give me that!
-给我 -你弄疼我了
- Give me that - Ow! You're hurting me!
知道那声音意味着什么吗胖子
Oh, you know what that sound is, fat boy?
意味着你的饭碗砸了
The sound of your career circling the bowl.
得罪了美景镇第♥一♥夫♥人♥
Yeah, you are gonna find out what happens
你等着瞧吧
when you screw with the first lady of Fairview.
北边我要向北走
OK, north. I need north.
苔藓长在树的北面所以
Moss grows on the north side of trees, so...
什么
What?
见鬼可恶的苔藓树
Damn it. Stupid mossy trees.
-爸爸 -伙计
- Dad! - Hey, buddy!
你好吗
How're you doing?
我很好可以问你一个问题吗
Good. Can I ask you a question?
当然随便问好了
Sure. You can ask me anything.
你觉得共同监护这主意怎样
How would you feel about joint custody?
你给他买♥♥了一只小狗
You bought him a puppy?
不那狗是我买♥♥给自己的
No, I bought myself a puppy.
我怎么知道他那么喜欢它
How was I to know that he'd get so attached?
别说谎话了伊迪
Don't lie to me, Edie.
你其实是在操控他
You were trying to manipulate him.
共同监护有那么糟吗
What, would it be so terrible to have joint custody?
顺便提醒你我是他妈妈
In case you forgot, I am his mother.
一年两周的探视期而且是你自己要求的
Two weeks out of the year. And that's the way you wanted it!
我改变主意了
Well, I've changed my mind.
见鬼伊迪我们之前有协议的
Oh, damn it, Edie! We had an agreement!
那是非正式的
It wasn't official.
世上从来没有法官
And there isn't a judge in this world
会将母亲与孩子分开
that would keep a mother from her child.
崔沃斯发生什么事了
Hey, Travers. What's going on?
爸爸妈妈吵架了
Mom and Dad are fighting.
想去我家看电视吗
You wanna go watch TV at my house?
好吧
OK.
我马上过去伙计
I'll see you there in a sec, buddy.
你要是把我拖到法庭上
If you haul me into court,
那就试试我会彻底毁了你
so help me, I will destroy you.
你再敢威胁我我会申请单方监护
You threaten me again and I will go for full custody,
你这个混♥蛋♥
you son of a bitch.
-发生什么事了 -伊迪疯了
- So what is going on? - Edie has lost her mind.
八年来
For eight years,
她一直乐于接受一年两周的探视期
she's been happy to see him two weeks a year.
现在她突然要求共同监护
Now, out of the blue, she's gotta have joint custody.
-是吗 -是呀可那怎么行得通
- Really? - Yeah! How's that supposed to work?
我们住处相隔4小时车程
We live four hours away.
怎么办啊难道要他上两所学校吗
What's gonna do, go to two different schools?
我不知道怎么说哥们抱歉
I don't know what to tell you, man. I'm sorry.
我明白谢谢
Yeah, thanks.
我真想不通
You know, I just don't get it.
伊迪一直对我们的协议很满意
Edie's been perfectly happy with our arrangement.