绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S03E20

Part 2 Oct. 22, 2019, 11:11 a.m.

你还是在意我和卡洛斯约会
You're not fine with me seeing Carlos.
伊迪美景镇有上千个单身男人
Edie, there are 1,000 single men in Fairview.
你为何非要与我的前夫约会
Why do you have to date my ex-husband?
你都跟别人订婚了还在意什么
You're engaged to somebody else. What do you care?
这很尴尬
It's awkward.
这就像我给慈善机构捐了一条裙子
It's like if I donated a dress to charity,
之后却在某派对上看到你穿着粉墨登场
and I went to a party and you showed up wearing it.
还是如此是你自己先把它送人的
Again, if you gave it away at first place,
那你又过来抱怨什么
then what the hell are you bitching about?
伊迪去找属于你自己的男人
Look, Edie, just find your own men
别抢别人的旧情人了
and stop snapping up other people's castoffs!
我要是不肯呢
And what if I don't?
那你就准备自食其果吧
Then be prepared to suffer the consequences.
不是吧
Oh, please.
你只有我腿那么高你能怎么样
You are as tall as my legs. What're you gonna do?
答案很快揭晓
You're about to find out.
这次是谁
Who is it this time?
是伊恩
It's Ian.
-你要跟他谈谈吗 -不
- You gonna talk to him? - No.
他带了花
He's got flowers.
-我不在乎 -看起来有两打玫瑰呢
- I don't care! - Looks like it's two dozen roses.
真好希望花刺能把他撕成碎片
Good. I hope the thorns rip him to shreds.
妈我知道麦克和伊恩做得不对
OK, Mom, I know what Mike and Ian did was wrong...
他们拿我当赌注
They bet me in a game of poker!
他们用五张牌
They made decisions about my life
决定了我的人生
over a hand of Five Card Stud!
这种行为无法用"做得不对"来概括
"Wrong" does not even begin to cover it.
好吧可是这世界上只有这两个人
OK, OK. But there are only two guys in this world
知道你所有的缺点却始终爱你
who know all of your flaws and still find a way to love you.
你要把他们都抛弃吗
You're gonna toss them both away?
是的我不需要男人
Yes. I don't need a man.
我连做♥爱♥都不需要
I don't even need sex.
这16年来都这么过下来了
I went without it the first 16 years...
我是说22年再忍♥几年也没事
...22 years of my life. And I can go a few more.
-这可好玩了 -什么
- This should be interesting. - What?
麦克走过来了
Mike just walked up.
放弃吧
Give it up.
前十次她都没开门
She didn't answer the first ten times.
这次也不会开的
She's not gonna answer it now.
真可悲
This is getting sad.
英国绅士接受现实吧
Take it like a Brit. Stiff upper lip.
你知道吗我真是受不了你了
You know what? I've just about bloody had it with you!
你昏迷着往袋子里大便的时候
I preferred you when you were comatose and
还更讨人喜欢点
pooping in a bag!
你该庆幸我现在不用那个袋子了
Lucky for you I don't have that bag right now.
好了我受够了
All right, that does it.
抱歉同志们
Uh, excuse me! Guys...
你们好我妈真心希望你们都走开
Hi. My mom would really like for both of you to leave.
别说软话让他们知道我是认真的
Don't soft-pedal it. Let them know I mean business.
因为如果你们不走
Because, if you don't,
她会非常非常失望的
she'll be very, very disappointed.
狠点
Rip them!
回家吧反省一下自己的所作所为
So just go home and think about what you've done.
难听的话你自己来说吧
You want something bitchier, do it yourself!
开饭啦
Here we are.
波尔奇尼奶油酱淋脆皮鸭馅意式馄饨
Ravioli stuffed with duck confit in a porcini cream sauce.
怎么样
What do you think?
你没给自己做一份真是太可惜了
I think it's a shame you didn't make any for yourself.
-喂宝贝 -喂
- Hi, honey. - Hey.
-就想和你说一声我爱你 -嘴真甜
- Just wanted to say I love you. - Aren't you sweet?
怎么这么吵孩子们还没睡吗
What's that noise in the background? Are the boys still up?
是啊他们不想睡觉
Yeah, they don't want to go to bed.
当然如此他们是小孩你才是爸爸
Of course they don't. They're kids, you're the dad.
叫他们去睡啊
Make them.
我试过了亲爱的可他们想等你回家
I tried, honey, but they wanna wait up for you.
他们想妈妈
They miss their mom.
你是想让我因为愧疚而回家吧
Is this your way of guilting me into coming back home?
勒奈特餐厅在半小时前就打烊了
Lynette, the restaurant did close a half hour ago.
普雷斯顿别扔布丁
Preston! Don't throw pudding!
汤姆对不起我不能回家
Tom, I'm sorry, I can't come home.
我们在盘点还得一会儿呢
We're doing inventory. So it could be a while.
好吧尽量快点
Well, OK. Try to hurry.
我会的爱你拜拜
I will. I love you. Bye.
-存货清单 -我知道我这样不对
- Inventory? - I know. I'm a horrible person.
我选了波尔奇尼酱而不是孩子
I just chose ravioli over motherhood.
我该回家了
I should go home.
勒奈特你没必要愧疚
Lynette, you have nothing to feel guilty about.
你每天那么辛苦花时间在餐馆
You bust your ass in this restaurant every day,
就为了经营好
you keep it going.
如果有人需要放松一下那就是你了
If anybody deserves downtime, it's you.
这真是既可耻又有道理
Those are shameless rationalizations.
继续吧
Keep them coming.
那个我也要
Those, too.
你在这呢在外面干什么呢
There you are. What are you doing outside?
有些大孩子朝麦克卢斯基太太的屋子扔鸡蛋
Some big kids threw eggs at Mrs. McCluskey's house.
天哪他们不该这样
Oh, jeez, they shouldn't have done that.
我们应该去跟她说说话
We should go talk to her.
不行太晚了
No, it's late.
她也许不想被打扰了
She probably doesn't want us to bother her.
来吧小宝贝去睡觉
Come on, bud, bedtime.
咱们这样
So here's what's gonna happen.
以后再也不跟伊迪说话了
We're not talking to Edie anymore.
什么叫咱们
What do you mean, "we?"
因为她背叛了我
I mean "we" as in, she betrayed me,
作为我最好的姐妹
and you're by best friends,
你们要支持我朋友都是这样的
so you gonna support me because that's what friends do.
你所说的"支持"
And "support", to you,
是指像高中生那样吗
means acting like we're in junior high?
你竟然对这事一点都不生气
I can't believe you're not furious at this.
在对卡洛斯下手之前
Before she sank her fangs into Carlos,
她还勾搭过你的前夫和麦克呢
she was dating your ex-husband and Mike!
没错但是这怪谁
Yes. And do you know who I blame?
我反正怪的是卡尔和麦克
I blame Karl and Mike.
为什么没有人冲他们发火面对事实吧
Why isn't anybody mad at them? I mean, let's face it.
男人就算杀人也能脱罪他们就是人♥渣♥
The men, they get away with murder. They're scum!
好了说回伊迪
OK. Back to Edie.
孤立她我有点于心不安
I'm not sure I'm comfortable ganging up on her.
是吗你跟帕蒂·门罗因为篱笆的事
Really? Because I wasn't very comfortable taking your side
关系闹僵我也于心不安来着
when you were feuding with Patty Monroe
可我还是选择支持你了
over the fence line. But I did.
加布这么说不公平
Oh, Gaby,That's not fair.
本来就没人喜欢帕蒂
Nobody really liked Patty to begin with.
别逼我接着说我为你做了多少事
Don't get me started about what I've done for you.
就因为你那糟糕的蜜蜡脱毛
I'm still boycotting Madame Kim's Day Spa
我至今扔在抵♥制♥金夫人水疗中心呢
because of your botched bikini wax.
天哪蜜蜡脱毛还能弄糟
Oh, my God. How do you botch a bikini wax?
一会儿让她给你看
She will show you later!
好朋友的意义不仅限于
The point is, good friends share more than
一起聊天和吃早午餐
just gossip and brunch.
还要一起对抗外敌
They share enemies, too.
你们到底站我这边不
So are you with me or not?
我们当然跟你一拨
Of course we're with you.
我们会对伊迪态度冷淡的
We will give Edie the cold shoulder.
不行冷淡不行要冰冷冰冷的
No, no. Not cold. Frozen.
我要那个贱♥人♥耳朵挂下冰柱来
I want icicles hanging from that bitch's ears!
我回来啦
Hello?
你还想让我看看那篇书评吗
Do you still want me to look at that book report?
爸爸昨天帮我了你没在家
Daddy helped me yesterday. You weren't home.
好吧
Oh... OK.
最近所有的活都是爸爸干的
Daddy does everything lately.