绝望的主妇
Desperate Housewives
第三季
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绝望的主妇
Desperate Housewives S03E09
Part 1
Oct. 22, 2019, 11:10 a.m.
《绝望主妇》前情提要
Previously on Desperate Housewives
紫藤郡新诞生的英雄
Wisteria Lane's new hero...
有人吗
Hello?
大英雄的房♥子棒极了
Superhero houses are great!
真面目不可告人
turned out to be anything but.
奥森的妈妈定居下来
Orson's mother took up residence.
我决定接受你妻子的盛情邀请
I've decided to accept your wife's kind invitation.
你敢
You wouldn't.
麦克根本记不得
Mike couldn't remember...
失忆了
No memory?
真方便啊
That's convenient.
任何事
... anything at all.
瞧好了 搜查令
Here's our search warrant.
我们找不到那个工具箱
We couldn't find the toolbox.
你可能想把扳手清理一下
You might want to wash that wrench off.
上面有点东西
It's got something on it.
我是说我们
I'm just saying that
从来不在你家过夜
we never spend the night at your house.
是的 但你家更温馨
Yes, but your place is so warm and cozy.
现在一定很乱
It's also a disaster area.
因为我今天没空打扫房♥间
I didn't get a chance to clean it today.
没事 让我来
Oh, here. Let me.
苏珊·梅尔从来没觉得自己是灰姑娘
Susan Mayer had never thought of herself as Cinderella,
直到某天
but then one day...
一位王子出现了
a prince showed up...
不能让你睡在猪窝里 对吧
Well, we can't have you sleeping in squalor, can we?
今晚就去我家吧
My place it is.
随后苏珊发现她的生活
... and Susan realized her life
变得如童话般梦幻
had become a fairy tale.
王子将她接进了城♥堡♥
And since her prince had welcomed her into his castle,
而她唯一能做的就是好好报答他
she felt the least she could do was thank him.
一次
Again...
又一次
and again...
再一次
and again.
然而 次日清晨 苏珊发现城♥堡♥
The next morning, however,Susan discovered castles...
是有管家来打理的
don't run themselves.
好吧
All right.
你快进快出吧
But let's make it a quickie
别浪费了太多"蜜汁"
because you are wasting water.
抱歉 无意惊吓你
Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.
-你是谁 -我是鲁伯特
- Uh... who are you? - I'm Rupert.
我为亨斯沃斯先生工作
I work for Mr. Hainsworth.
就是跟你睡觉的那位先生
That would be the man you slept with,
我怕你们甚至不知道对方的名字
in case names weren't exchanged.
没有 我是你老爷的女朋友
No. I'm your boss's girlfriend.
当然 他应该跟你提起过我
Surely, he mentioned me.
我没有印象
Not that I recollect.
鲁伯特
Rupert.
早安 老爷
Good morning, boss.
我还以为你今天休息
I thought you were off today.
你姐姐不是来了吗
Isn't your sister in town?
她下个礼拜才来 先生
That's next weekend, sir.
那倒是挺好的
It's a good thing too.
否则 我可能就没有这个荣幸
Otherwise, I might not have had the pleasure of
见到您女朋友了
meeting your girlfriend.
苏珊
Susan.
是的 我们是在医院认识的
Yes. We met at the hospital.
我去帮你拿件睡袍吧
Why don't I fetch you a robe?
好主意
Loving that idea.
你想吃点什么早餐
Would you care for some breakfast?
煎蛋卷 草莓馅饼 还是奶油蛋卷
Omelet, strawberry tart, brioche?
听起来都不错 随便吧
Yeah. That sounds great. You pick.
是的 苏珊确实过上了
Yes, Susan's life had indeed
童话般的生活
become a fairy tale.
你知道亨斯沃斯先生是有太太的吧
You are aware there is a Mrs. Hainsworth?
当然知道了
Well, of course.
但哪个故事里
And what's a fairy tale...
那就吃馅饼吧[另意妓♥女♥]
Tart it is.
没有破坏婚姻的恶人呢
...without a dragon to slay?
我们知道危险人物就潜伏于身边
We know dangerous men walk among us.
但我们无法确定他们是谁
What we can't be sure of is who they are
或者他们的藏身之处
or where they hide.
所以我们能做的 就是对陌生人保持警惕
So the most we can offer any stranger is reasonable doubt.
但当疑云消散
But once the doubt is gone,
人们却无法保持理性
people are anything but reasonable.
跟你说 我们的邻居是个恋童癖
I am telling you, our neighbor is a pedophile,
希望你们能有所行动
and I expect you to do something about it.
斯加沃太太 他没有任何
Ms. Scavo, he's not listed on
性侵犯方面的案底
any sex offender registry.
甚至连一张交通罚单都没有
He's never had a traffic ticket.
他是个单身汉
He's a single man
却有满满一个地下室的玩具
with a basement full of toys!
我理解你的忧虑
I understand your concern,
但是一个人不可能因为收藏玩具而获罪
but we can't book a guy on possession of toys.
你不明白 他的房♥间令人浑身起鸡皮疙瘩
You don't get it. His house had this creepy vibe.
汤姆 快跟他说说
Tell him, Tom.
我根本没去过那个房♥间
I never went down to the actual room.
好吧 他不在场 不了解情况
Okay, he wasn't in there. He doesn't know.
他有一整面墙贴满了
Look, he had a wall full of pictures
各种各样的 穿着泳装的半裸男孩照片
of half-naked boys in swimsuits.
你不是说他是个游泳教练吗
Didn't you say he was a swim coach?
你到底是干什么的 他的律师吗
What are you, his lawyer?
你必须承认 那很怪异
You have to admit, it's odd.
怪异的就是
Here's what's odd.
如果你们邻居有意隐瞒恶心的癖好
If your neighbor had something to hide,
他怎么可能邀请你们去参观他的收藏呢
why'd he invite you in to see all of his stuff?
严格来说 我去的时候他不在家
He wasn't technically home when I went inside.
那你算非法入室了
So you broke in?
当时门是开着的
The door was open.
我是去给他送蛋糕的
I was bringing him a cake.
送蛋糕
A cake?
为了感谢他
It was a thank-you cake.
他算是救过我一命吧
He sort of saved my life.
她做蛋糕的时候 尚不知道那人是个恋童癖
She didn't know he was a pedophile when she baked the actual cake.
他才不关心这个 汤姆
He doesn't care the cake, Tom.
你为什么吼我
Why snap at me?
-我没吼你 -你吼了
- I'm not snapping at you. - You snapped.
我吼是因为对面住了一个恶魔
I am snapping because there is a monster across the street,
但巴尼·伐夫却搞得我像恶人先告状一样
and Barney Fife here's making me sound like the bad guy!
很抱歉 她最近压力很大
I'm sorry. She's been under a lot of stress,
睡眠不太好
hasn't slept well.
你最好没在替我道歉
You better not be apologizing for me!
我得撤了
Gotta go.
有个非常好的消息要告诉你
So I've got some fabulous news.
希望比这条裙子要好
Well, I hope it's more fabulous than this dress.
我穿成这样 恐怕只有老头子才会勾搭
I look like something Ike Turner would hit.
你得再找一位私人采购员了
You're gonna have to find yourself another personal shopper.
我不过是讽刺了一条裙子
I slam one dress,
你就不干了
and you quit on me?
不 我就是要跟你说这事
No, that's my news.
我要离开这家商店 自己创业了
I'm leaving the store and starting my own business.
"韦恩美容院" 你开了一家沙龙
"Beauty by Vern." You're opening up a salon?
天啊 你还能再有基情些吗
God, could you get any gayer?
那是专门针对选美参赛者的咨♥询♥公♥司♥
It's a consulting firm for beauty pageant contestants.
那好吧
And the answer's yes.
本周我要给参加
This week I'm coaching girls
"雪花小姐"比赛的女孩们指导
for the Miss Snowflake Pageant.
报酬丰厚哦
It's very rewarding.
你知道什么最有趣吗
Hey, you know what might be fun?
如果你能来上上课的话
If you come and give a talk.
绝望的主妇
Desperate Housewives
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