好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S07E21
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:04 p.m.
Well, it's very valuable, Jake.
杰克 这很值钱的
I don't want to see it stolen.
我可不希望它被偷
Who steals clocks
谁会偷钟啊
Clocktomaniacs.
时钟怪盗
You have your mother's sense of humor.
你跟你老妈一样没幽默感
Okay, let's put her down real easy.
小心地 放下来
Okay.
好的
O-kay.
可以了
Good.
很好
So, it looks like we have a couple of hours of daylight left.
貌似我们有几小时的时光可以打发
How about you and I get to know our state capital
我俩去了解下州府怎样
You want to drive to San Francisco
你想驾车去旧金山么
No, Sacramento is the capital of California.
不 萨克拉门多才是加州州府
I don't think so.
我可不这样认为
Trust me.
相信我
Come on, got a map from the lobby
来吧 在大厅弄了张地图
that shows all the places of interest in Old Sac.
老萨克城的名胜都在上面了
Old sac. Get it
老萨克 懂了
Oh, yeah.
知道么
That was much better than my joke.
这可比我的笑话好玩多了
Look at us, a couple of nuts
看看我俩 一对怪胎
hanging out in Sacramento.
在萨克拉曼多闲逛
Do it again. Do it again.
再来一次 再来一次
No, no. Oh, come on, please.
不要 拜托 来嘛
Do it again. Do it again.
再来一次 再来一次
All right, all right. Last time. All right.
好吧 好吧 最后一次 好
Badges
徽章
We don't need no stinkin' badges!
我们不需要恶心的徽章
Okay, okay, I got one.
好了 好了 我又想到个
I got one.
这个
Some folks call it a sling blade.
有些人叫它弹弓刀
I call it a kaiser blade.
我叫它蛋弓刀
I like them French fried taters.
我喜欢法式炸薯片
Oh, good idea.
好主意
Where you going?
你要去哪
To the pier to get some of them French fried taters.
到码头去弄点法式炸薯片
No. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
等会 等会 等一下
What?
怎么了
I love you, Berta.
波塔 我爱你
I love you, too, Charlie.
查理 我也爱你
Give me a thousand dollars.
给我一千大洋
Why?
为啥
Well, if you have to ask, you don't really love me.
如果你问我就说明你不爱我
Oh, oh, and-and pretzels!
还有椒盐卷饼
Get some pretzels! Pretzels
顺便来点椒盐卷饼 椒盐卷饼
We don't need no stinkin' pretzels!
我们不需要恶心的椒盐卷饼
Oh, man, I'm so lucky to have her in my life.
我生命中能拥有她真是太幸运了
You've had a lot of wonderful women in your life.
你一生中有很多优秀的女人
But you always find a way to sabotage the relationship.
但你总是破坏这些关系
Chelsea?
切尔西
She's right, Charlie.
她说的对 查理
If there's a way it can be blown, you'll blow it.
如果有搞砸的机会 你就一定会搞砸
And not in the fun way.
而且方式很不有趣
Mia?
米亚
Tell me something, Charlie.
查理 告诉我
Do you think your inability to commit
你不觉得 你无力做出承诺
and all your macho posturing
还有你的大男子气概
is because deep down, you're afraid you're gay?
实际上都是因为你担心你是个基佬么
You know, i've wondered that, too.
我也是这么认为的
Are you just a big ol' 'mo
你只是个老基佬么
He's not a 'mo.
他不基
He's got mommy issues.
他有恋母情节
Lots and lots of mommy issues.
堆积如山的恋母情节
Lydia!
莉迪亚
Hey, it's Lydia.
看 是莉迪亚
Excuse me.
打扰下
Why does everyone blame the mother?
为啥所有人都抱怨妈妈
Frankly, I think you were more on target
老实说 我觉得你的同性恋理论
with that homo theory.
更加切题
Okay, I don't want to be high anymore!
好了 我可不想再吸多了
Hey, ask me why they should change the name
问我为啥他们
of the Sacramento Kings to the Sacramento Nads
萨卡拉门托国王队改名为萨卡拉门托睾丸队
Why
为什么
That way, everyone can chant, "Go Nads!
这样大伙就能叫"上啊 睾丸"
Go Nads!"
上啊 睾丸
Another winner.
又一个大赢家
Yeah, I may not be good at school or sports,
别看我学习差又没运动细胞
but no one beats me at ball jokes.
可讲起蛋蛋笑话 我可是一流
I'm so proud.
我真为你骄傲
Can we watch tv?
可以看电视吗
You can watch tv anytime.
你平时多的是机会看
Let's talk.
咱爷俩儿继续聊
You sure?
你确定吗
That hardly ever goes well.
咱俩儿聊总没啥好下场
Come on, what's going on in your life.
试试吧 你的生活咋样了
Nothing.
不咋样
Oh, please, you're 16.
拜托 你16岁
That-that's a very tumultuous time.
正是骚动年纪
I mean, especially with all the sexual issues
我是说 特别在性方面
and the drugs and the internet.
还有毒品 网络
Yeah. You gonna eat your chicken skin?
是 这鸡皮你吃吗
Help yourself.
你请吧
You ask me, the skin's the best part.
要我说 鸡皮才是精华
Yeah, but it's not good for you.
但你吃多了没好处
Anyway, about your life...
言归正传 关于你的生活
Hey, there's a business opportunity.
你看 这下可有商机了
Go to all those skinless chicken restaurants,
到那些无鸡皮的餐馆
and take the skin that they throw away
拿走他们丢弃的鸡皮
and open up a restaurant next door named "el pollo skin-o."
然后在隔壁开一家"鸡屁"
That means "the chicken skin" in spanish.
这是西班牙语鸡皮的意思
That's very clever.
真聪明
And guess where we'll open up our first restaurant
猜猜咱在哪里开第一家
Sacramento.
萨克拉门托
Charming.
帅呆了
Then Muncie, Indiana,
接着是印地安那州的曼西市
home of "Ball State University".
"波"尔州立大学的所在地
Then lake titicaca.
接着是喀喀湖(秘鲁与玻利维亚交界处)
Not a ball joke, but still funny.
不是蛋蛋笑话 但依然搞笑
Excuse me.
失陪下
What are you doing?
你在做什么
Screaming into a towel.
毛巾掩面的尖叫
I'm gonna watch tv.
我要看电视了
Okay.
好的
Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god, oh, god.
天啊 神啊 上帝啊 我的妈呀
How many times has that been said in this bed?
如此美妙的呻♥吟♥ 在这床上出现过多少次啊
Or in this chair?
沙发上呢
Or all over this rug ?
地毯上的也很爽吧
On the balcony
在阳台上
looking at the ocean?
面朝大海
You're not here!
你们不是真实的
You're not here! None of you are here!
这是幻觉 全都是幻觉
Wow, so this is the bedroom.
这就是传说中的卧室啊
I never got past the couch.
我只有沙发的待遇
What are you complaining about?
你抱怨个什么劲儿
I never got out of the car.
我在车里就完事了
He did me in a little church in Van Nuys.
他是在凡奈斯(加州城市)的小教堂里上的我
Right in the pew.
就在教堂的长椅上
I would never let him do me in the pew.
我绝不会和他在教堂长椅上做
He dumped me when I said, "I love you."
我说爱他时 他把我甩了
He dumped me when he saw my penis.
他看见我的小鸡鸡时 把我甩了
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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