好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S07E11
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:01 p.m.
And I just couldn't let him spend Christmas Eve alone--
我不能让他一个人过圣诞节
rattling around his 25,000 square foot
不能让他独自在25000平方英尺的
Beverly Hills mansion, with adjoining guest house,
比弗利山庄的大宅子里呻♥吟♥啊
Olympic size saltwater pool and home theater.
还有复♥式♥客房♥ 超大盐水泳池和家庭影院呢
There it is.
原来是为了这个
Are you really this hard up for a listing?
为了让他在你这卖♥♥♥房♥♥子有必要这样嘛
Alan, it's a $60-million home.
艾伦 这房♥子值6千万
My commission will be almost $2 million.
给我的佣金会达到200万
How much did you make last year?
你去年一年才挣了多少钱
Welcome to our home, Mr. Pepper!
欢迎光临寒舍 佩勃先生
What are you shouting for?
你喊什么喊啊
I'm incontinent, not deaf.
我是失禁了 但我不聋
Sorry.
抱歉
What?
说啥啊
Have an Abba Zaba, Marty.
吃糖吧 马蒂
Thank you.
谢谢
Did I ever tell you I knew Lucille Ball?
我有没有告诉过你我认识露西亚·保尔
Yes, you did, dear.
是的 你说过
You know, she wasn't a real redhead.
你知道 其实她不是红头发的
Ask me how I know.
想知道我怎么发现的吗
Warning: it's dirty.
小心哦 很下流的哦
Uncle Charlie, I think Celeste knows I'm seeing another woman.
查理叔叔 我想斯莱丝特知道我在和别的女生约会
What? Why?
什么 为什么
She's texting me.
她给我发了短♥信♥
What are you talking about?
你们说啥呢
Nothing, nothing.
没什么
Jake has a shot at some out-of-town strange.
杰克有机会泡到一个外地来的陌生女孩
You see how he is corrupting your grandson?
你看见他是怎么把你孙子教坏的了吧
Come on, Alan.
别这样嘛 艾伦
It's out-of-town strange.
人家是外地来的嘛
Do you really have a shot?
你真有机会吗
I don't know.
不知道
Uncle Charlie seems to think so.
貌似查理叔叔是这么认为的
Tell her you wanna get her her own sitcom.
跟她说你会做一部由她主演的情景喜剧
Never fails.
从没失败过
There she is again. What do I do?
她又发来了 我该怎么办
Just text her back, "Thinking of you."
回她说 "我在想你"
Which you are, so you're not lying.
因为你本来就在想 所以这不算撒谎
Good, that's good.
好的 很好
Okay, this may be your house, but this is my son.
行了 房♥子虽然是你的 但孩子是我的
Yeah, and you've been living here seven years,
是啊 你在这里住了七年
which makes us a common-law couple, which makes him our son.
我们都成了合法夫妻了 所以孩子是我们俩的
Homos with a kid.
有个孩子的同性恋夫妻
A great idea for a sitcom.
倒是情景喜剧的好题材
It worked. She wrote back,
成功了 她回短♥信♥说
"Merry Christmas, I miz you."
"圣诞快乐 我好(ˇ_ˇ）你"
Then write back, "I miz you, too."
那就回她 "我也(ˇ_ˇ）你"
Man, you are good.
不愧是情圣啊
Look at that.
看看吧
Our little boy is growing up.
我们的孩子正茁壮成长呢
How would you feel about us having another child?
我们再要个孩子你觉得怎么样
* Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock *
铃铛响 铃铛响 铃铛摇啊摇
* Jingle bells swing and jingle bell ring *
铃铛摇啊摇啊 铃铛响
* Snowing and blowing up bushels of fun *
天空飘着雪花 带来无限欢乐
* Now the jingle hop has begun *
铃铛也跟着跳了起来
* Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock *
铃铛响 铃铛响 铃铛摇啊摇
* Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time *
铃铛的声音在天空回响
* Dancing and prancing in jingle bell square *
人们欢呼 人们起舞
* In the frosty air
在这严寒的空气中
* What a bright time, it's the right time *
多么快乐的时光 那是快乐的时光
* To rock the night away *
请把黑夜带走
* Jingle bell time is a swell time *
铃铛响起的时刻无限欢乐
* To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh *
多想坐在雪橇上滑行
* Giddy-up, jingle horse, pick up your feet *
马儿马儿快站起来
* Jingle around the clock...
带我和时间赛跑
Alan?
艾伦
* Mix and mingle with the jinglin' feet *
马儿带着铃铛飞奔 叮当声混响着
Alan?
艾伦
* That's the jingle bell, that's the jingle bell... *
那是铃铛摇啊摇
Alan?!
艾伦
40 years ago you asked for a little brother for Christmas.
40年前你想要个弟弟做圣诞礼物
Happy?
现在高兴了
* That's the jingle bell rock! *
那是铃铛摇啊摇
Could somebody move me?
谁能帮我换个地方
My chestnuts are roasting by this open fire.
我的老屁♥股♥都要烤焦了
Is that you?
那是你啊
I thought Alan burned the ham.
我以为艾伦把火腿烧糊了呢
Berta, don't you wanna spend Christmas with your family?
波塔 你难道不想和家人一起过圣诞节吗
Do you wanna spend Christmas with yours?
你想和你的家人一起过圣诞节吗
Let me freshen your drink.
我在给你倒点酒去吧
What is that fragrance you're wearing, my dear?
你擦的什么香水
Ben Gay and foot powder.
本基和沐足粉
Whatever it is, it's making me hot.
不管是什么 我好喜欢哦
Turkey's almost done.
火鸡马上就好了
Aren't you gonna put on some nice clothes?
你不应该盛装打扮下吗
Why? It's just gonna be you, me,
有必要吗 不就是你 我
Chelsea, Berta, Mom
切尔西 波塔 老妈
and the ghost of showbiz past.
还有那个娱乐界的老鬼
And Jake.
还有杰克呢
No, Jake split. What?
他早开溜了 什么
He's hangin' with his new girlfriend.
他跟在跟新女朋友培养感情呢
Where?
在哪里
Her aunt's house.
她姑姑家
I think they got the place to themselves,
我猜那地方应该只有他俩
so he might get a little, you know,
所以杰克今晚可以享受到片刻
peace on Earth tonight.
不被人打扰的安稳
How do you make everything sound dirty?
你怎么老爱把事情渲染得这么色呢
Hey, I took the high road.
拜托 我已经很收敛了
I coulda gone with "Come, all ye faithful."
我本来还打算高歌♥那首"齐来崇拜圣歌♥"呢
He needs to be home.
他得马上回来
Oh, come on, Alan.
拜托 艾伦
He's got a real shot with that girl.
他很可能会得手
I don't care. It's Christmas Eve. So?
我不管 今晚是平安夜 那又怎样
So if I can't get laid, nobody gets laid.
如果连我都没得搞 那谁也别想搞
Yeah, Jake, this is your father.
杰克 我以父亲的名义命令你
Whatever you're doing,
不管你在做什么
I want you to stop it and get your ass home.
马上停止 赶紧给我滚回来
What's he doing? Is he decking her hall?
他在干嘛 粉饰她的门厅吗
Shut up!
闭嘴
Right now, mister!
先生 现在 马上!
Fine, bring her back here if you want.
随便 你想带就带回来吧
Yes, there's still pie left.
对 那派绝对够吃
What are you lookin' at?
看我♥干♥嘛
How would you like to have your own sitcom?
你觉得自己当主角情景喜剧怎么样
Hi. Is Jake home?
你好 请问杰克在家吗
Um, I don't know.
我不知道
Sorry to intrude, but Celeste wanted
抱歉 打扰了 但是斯莱丝特想
to give Jake his Christmas present.
亲手把圣诞礼物送给杰克
Please come in.
请进
Aw, crap.
这下糟了
Wow, check out the mom.
你瞧她妈那身段
Forget the mom.
赶紧回魂吧
We gotta get rid of 'em before Jake walks in here
咱们得赶在杰克牵着另一个妞回来之前
with another girl.
把这对母女弄走
Yeah, yeah, good idea.
对 你说得对
Uh, hi, hi. I'm, uh, Alan, Jake's divorced father.
你好 我是艾伦 杰克的单亲爸爸
Keisha, Celeste's mother.
我是凯莎 斯莱丝特的妈妈
Her mother?
你是她妈?
Oh, please, you look like her sister.
天啊 你俩看起来就像一对姐妹花
You're sweet.
你嘴真甜
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表