好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S07E08
Part 1
Nov. 18, 2020, 5 p.m.
Ask your doctor is right for you
请遵照医嘱服用
So, do either of you gs urinate with abnormal frequency?
你们两个谁排尿频率不正常
No. No.
我挺好 我也是
I mean, you gotta define abnormal.
你要定义下不正常
And keep in mind the body
而且你要知道的是
Doesn't process alcohol efficiently.
人体无法有效的代谢酒精
Which is why your uncle charlie
这也是你的查理伯伯
Is a perpetual urine machine.
是个排尿机器的原因
Also keep in mind that your father
你还要知道的一点就是
Has the bladder control
你老爸排尿不畅
Of a frightened nine-year-old girl.
主要是受到过一个九岁女生的恐吓
Which is why he needs to wear
所以他必须要穿
Two pairs of undies and a panty lir.
两套女士内衣和内♥裤♥
Only on long drives.
只有在坐长途车的时候这样
Oh, really?
真的吗
How many times a night doou get up to pee?
那你一个晚上起夜几次
Just once.
就一次
I can hear your toilet flush, alan.
艾伦 我可以听见你冲马桶
Okay, four times.
那好吧 是四次
But at least i get out of bed to pee.
那好歹我是起床去尿的
Hey, hey.
嗨
That was an isolatedncident.
那可是绝对的意外
I was dreaming my shoes were on fire
我梦见我的鞋着火了
Does that answer your question, buddy?
你得到答案了吗
Yeah.
恩呢
And remind me to never ask another one.
下次提醒我别再向你们问任何问题
Charlie? yeah?
查理 咋啦
Why aren't you ready?
你怎么还没准备
Ready for...?
准备虾米?
You've got to be kidding me.
你是拿我开涮呢吧
I've told you at least three times
我已经说了不止三次了
We're having dinner with my girlfriend gail tonight.
我们今晚和我的闺蜜吃饭
Excuse me, gotta pee.
对不起 去尿尿
I swear to god, you never listen
你就从来没听过我说话
When i'm talking to you.
我和你说话的时候
It's like you just tune me out
感觉你无视了我的声音
You look like you're paying attention,
看起来你是仔细在听
But your mind is a million miles away.
可是你的脑子早就不知道跑哪里去了
Do i need to pee?
我要不要去尿
Nah.
才不用呢
I mean, i could.
我可以去下
Might be traffic.
也许会堵车捏
Probably should pee.
也许真的要尿
Yeah, better pee.
没错 最好去尿
Now we're going be late, and i'm going
现在我们要迟到加丢人了
To be embarrassed all because u don't listen.
就因为你无视我
Boy, she's got great boobies.
感谢老天 我老婆胸真美
So, charlie, i've heard so many nice things about you
查理 我听了很多你的好话呢
Really? from who?
真的 谁和你说的
Hello.
傻了你
Oh, right.
哦 对哦
Thanks.
谢谢
I guess i only hear the complains
主要我听到的都是抱怨
You don't hear anything.
你啥话都没听
That's not true.
才不是的
You're right. it's not.
是啊
He hears what he wants to hear.
他只听想听的
So i'm right.
我说的嘛
Well, you stil make a great couple. thank you.
你们是完美的一对 谢谢
And i'm really looking forward to your wedding.
真的好期待参加你们的婚礼
I'm sure it's going to be beautiful.
我敢肯定婚礼一定美伦美奂
What'd i do?
我说错啥了吗
Nothing. i told you she's going thugh a bad breakup.
不是啦 告诉过你她刚刚经历惨烈的分手
When did you tell me that?
你啥时候说的
In the car, on the way here.
在来的时候 在车上说的
God.
天啊
It's going to be okay.
一切都会好的
I know. it's just hard.
我知道 只是心里真的好难过
I thought i knew him.
我以为我理解他
I thought we were going to be together forever,
我以为我们会走到最后
Like you and charlie.
就像你和查理一样
Hard to believe somebody got tired of doing her.
真难以置信有人厌倦这小妞
Ooh, french fries looksgood.
法式薯条看起来真不赖
Why did i order the baked potato?
我咋点了烤土豆呢
Isn't that right charlie? absolutely.
查理你说是不是 绝对的
Now, is this the one who's the old college roomte?
这小妞是她的大学室友吗
I should really listen more.
我真该多听她说的话
I mean, i knew he was insensitive...
我知道他这个人不敏感
Boy, i bet, if they were roommates,
我敢打赌 如果他们是室友
They did some experimenting.
她们肯定亲热过
Why is it that girls can experiment wh other girls
为啥女生可以和别的女生亲热
And not be gay, but if a guy
但是又不是真的拉拉
So as muchisses another guy-- woop, bad memory.
换成男人就... 哇 别去回忆
Drink... drink, drink, drink.
喝 赶紧喝酒
So you're just all alone in that big apartment?
那你就一个人守着那个大房♥子
He even took the dog.
他连狗都牵走了
Bastard.
王八蛋
What? it's my first drink.
咋啦 我才喝第一杯
Not u.
不是你
Brian took rufus.
布莱恩把鲁弗斯都带走了
Oh.
这样
Who's rufus?
谁是鲁弗斯
For that matter, who's brian?
谁是布莱恩
Life of brian-- that was pretty nny.
《布莱恩的一生》（喜剧）那个片子好好笑
Brian's song, not so much.
布莱恩的歌♥就不咋地了
James caan was great in it, though.
詹姆斯卡安（教父中与马龙合作）真是出色
The godfather, rollerball...
《教父》啊 《极速风暴》啊
Yeah, i can so see these two kissing in aorm room.
真想看看她们两个在宿舍亲热的样子
That's really sweet, but i couldn't impose.
那真的太好了 只是我不想让你们为难
We insist. Right, charlie? absolutely.
我们坚持的 对不查理 绝对的
There.
好了
You'll come stay with us for a few days and heal.
你过来和我们住一起 缓解一下
I don't know what to say.
我真不知道该说什么
Say yes.
你就说好的
Um... yes.
好的
Good.
好
After dinner we can go back to her apartment
吃完饭去她家
So she can pack a bag. absolutely.
好让她收拾行李 绝对的
You'll love charlie's place.
你会喜欢上查理家的
It's right on the sand.
就在沙滩上
Very quiet, restful.
很安静舒适
Dear penthouse forum...
亲爱的《阁楼》杂♥志♥
I always thought your letters were made up,
我一直以为你们的读者来信都是瞎编的
Untill my fiancee's college roommate Came to stay with us for a few days.
直到我未婚妻的大学室友来我家住几天
Right, charlie? Absolutely.
对吧 查理 绝对
Hey, alan?
嗨 艾伦
Alan?
艾伦
Beight there.
马上来
What's up?
怎么啦
What were you doing?
你在干嘛
Um, shaving.
刮胡子
At night?
晚上刮?
Well, not souch shaving as... trimming.
其实更准确地说是...修整一下
So, uh, how was dinner?
晚餐吃得怎么样
Forget dinner.
先别提什么晚餐
Please tell me you weren't using my razor.
拜托你告诉我不是在用我的刮胡刀
Mine doesn't have the floating heads.
我的没有浮动刀头
I don't believe you.
我不敢相信
I put at thing on my face.
我还要用来刮脸呢
I was going to clean it bere i gave it back.
我打算洗洗再还你
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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