好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S07E21
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:04 p.m.
What's unencumbered?
什么是无拘无束
Uh, no restraints.
没有限制
We can do whatever we want.
我们想怎样都可以
Okay.
好的
I want to drive.
我想开车
Later. Pick something else.
等一下 选样别的
well, very funny.
好 很搞笑
Uh, so you want to go toot for toot Well, check this out.
你是想比赛吗 来看看这个
That is a bran muffin and a half a grapefruit, my friend.
这是糠松饼加半个西柚 兄弟
Yeah, well, this is grilled cheese sandwich,
是吧 好 这是烤奶酪三明治
pigs in a blanket and a waffle ice cream sandwich.
香肠薄饼还有威化雪糕三明治
Well, this is an antidepressant
好 这是抗抑郁药
and a mochaccino.
加摩卡咖啡
Keep an eye out for a gas station.
留意一下加油站
Aw, hell, she ain't gonna miss one.
管他呢 少一粒她又不会死
Hey, Russell.
嗨 罗素
Oh, hey, Charlie.
嗨 查理
You want a muscle relaxer
你想来瓶肌肉松弛剂吗
You take one with a Viagra,
外加瓶伟哥
and you're essentially Gumby with a Pokey.
让你如虎添翼的黄金搭档
No, thanks.
不 谢谢
I actually have a prescription from a doctor.
实际上我有医生处方
Whoa. Look at you
哇 瞧瞧你
following the letter and spirit of the law.
带着一纸公文 还"有法必依"呢
Sleeping pills.
安♥眠♥药♥
Those can be fun.
这就有意思了
You know, with a couple Red Bulls
要知道 就着这药喝几罐红牛
so you don't fall asleep.
你就不会打瞌睡了
Party is over, Russell.
夜夜笙歌♥已经是过去式了 罗素
I need to get some sleep.
我需要些睡眠
Oh. Well, then you don't want this.
那你不要这些了
Nope.
不
You want something organic,
你需要些有机的
something created by Mother Nature.
来自大自然的药
What do you got in mind Ganja.
你是指什么 大♥麻♥
You trying to sell me pot?
你在卖♥♥大♥麻♥给我?
Ah, not just pot.
不只是大♥麻♥啊
I call this Ojai So-high.
我管这叫"加州万岁"
Two hits, and a couple of chicken burritos,
喝上两杯 加这一根墨西哥鸡肉卷
and it's "Goodnight, Irene."
然后就是"晚安 艾琳"了
Don't you need a prescription for that?
这玩意不需要处方吗
What are you, a cop?
你是谁 警♥察♥吗
Okay, okay, but you're just driving the price up.
好吧 好吧 手续费该你出啊
Hello.
你好
Oh, Dr. Gollygupta.
咖喱古塔医生
Russell here.
我是罗素
Oh, hello, Russell.
你好 罗素
How are they hanging?
那些货怎么样
Twice the length of my penis, thanks for asking.
我老二长了一倍 谢谢慰问
My friend here needs a prescription.
我朋友需要一张处方
All right, uh, let me see him.
好的 让我看看他
Oh, okay.
好
Charlie, I'd like you to meet Dr. Gollygupta
查理 来见一下来自斯里兰卡
of the Gollygupta Hypertension and Glaucoma Clinic
咖喱古塔高血压与青光眼诊所
in Sri Lanka.
的咖喱古塔医生
Please to turn your head and cough.
请转下头和咳一下
Just turn your head... Yeah.
头转一下 对了
There you go.
就是这样
Oh, that's no good.
噢 情况不好啊
I'll send you a prescription.
我会发处方过去
Excuse me.
不好意思
Hello, DirecTV customer service.
你好 电视直销客服中心
Roger speaking.
我是罗杰
Oh, here it is.
来了
Ah. Great news, Charlie.
好消息 查理
You've got glaucoma!
你得了青光眼
You know, for gas station sweatpants,
你知道吗 就加油站的运动裤来说
these aren't bad.
这还不错
I beg to differ.
恕我不能同意
May I say that you have become a very good driver
我可以说 你已经是很好的司机了
Grand Theft Auto, Dad.
多亏侠盗猎手手(游戏) 老爸
It'd like driver's ed, but with pimps and hos.
我喜欢模拟驾驶 但要带着皮条客和妓♥女♥
Well, whatever.
嗯 管他呢
So, uh, have you given any more thought
那你有没有考虑过
to what you want to do after high school
高中毕业后要干什么
If this is the college talk,
如果是说大学的事
I think we need to both be realistic.
我想我们都要现实点
Hey, hey, I know
我知道
a big university is probably out of reach for the time being,
重点院校可能暂时读不上
but there's still junior colleges,
但还有大专
community colleges, trade schools.
社区大学 中专(杰克理解成换学校)
Hmm, man, I'd like to trade schools right now
老兄 我巴不得换学校呢
'cause this one's kicking my ass.
现在念的这个让我生不如死
Come on, Jake.
别这样 杰克
You know what I'm talking about.
你知道我说什么
You have to start making plans.
你必须开始制定计划
Did you have plans when you were my age?
像我这么大的时候你有计划吗
Yeah, I had big plans.
当然 我有着宏伟的计划
What happened to 'em ?
结果呢
Just drive.
开你的车
My life isn't over, you know.
我这辈子完了 你知道的
Okay.
好吧
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
那些没能杀死我们的 使我们变得更坚强(出自尼采《超越善恶》)
Well, then, you must be like The Hulk.
那你得像绿巨人那样
Let me tell you something, young man.
让我告诉你 年轻人
Chapter two of your father's story has yet to be written.
你♥爸♥爸的故事第二章还是待续
Is chapter one "I Crapped My Pants"
第一章 "我拉裤子里了"
Is that what I think it is?
这是我想的那玩意儿么
Yeah. I got a prescription.
是的 我拿到处方了
God, I love California.
天哪 我爱死加州了
Just walk into a store and buy your weed.
随便进家店就能买♥♥"草"了
No more schlepping out to Reseda
没有傻♥逼♥蠢货在罗斯达车站外
and trading a piece of tail for a short bag of stems and seeds.
用几个马子去交换几小包货了
You're welcome to join me here.
那你一起来吧
No, no, not while I'm working.
不了 工作时不吸
All right.
了解
Okay, I'm done working.
好了 我完事了
Man...
老兄
if I'd known you liked the wacky weed,
如果我知道你沉湎于此
I wouldn't have spent the last eight years
我在过去八年又何必
getting baked under the deck.
在露台下面自♥制♥呢
You know, when I was on break.
在我休息的时候
Actually, this is the first time I've touched the stuff
自打92年的ZZ Top乐队(老牌蓝调摇滚乐队)演唱会后
since a ZZ Top concert in '92.
我今天是第一次摸这玩意
I got so paranoid, I locked myself in a Porta Potti
我异想天开地把自己锁在活动厕所里
and tried to tunnel home.
想挖地道到家里
Well, good news.
好消息
Pot's a lot stronger now.
厕所现在坚固多了
What do you think
觉得怎样
I've rolled better joints on the back of a motorcycle
我在摩托车后面卷得都比这好
while digging a bullet out of my boyfriend's shoulder.
那时我还在帮我男人从肩膀上挖子弹勒
All right, fine.
好吧
You try it.
试试看
Oh, man, I hope this helps me sleep.
真希望这个能帮我入睡
I can't take another night,
我可不能再忍♥受一晚上
wandering around the house, thinking about Chelsea.
在屋子里游荡 满脑子的切尔西
Yeah, yeah, boo-hoo.
对对 大哭包
Let's fire up this bad boy.
把这逼样点着吧
This is stupid.
太愚蠢了
We should've just left it in the car.
我们该把它留在车里的
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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