好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S07E02
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 4:58 p.m.
And "rent," but go on.
还有"租金" 不过请继续
I-I-I just don't think I need your permission
我只是觉得我让梅丽莎住这里
when it comes to Melissa living with me.
不需经过你同意
Well, you're wrong. Nice talking to you.
你错了 谈话愉快
Charlie.
查理
I would hope that... Don't Charlie me.
我希望 别查理来查理去
This is my house.
这是我的房♥子
Not yours, mine.
我的 不是你的
And the fact is if Melissa moves in,
事实是如果梅丽莎搬过来了
that means you've got more people living here than I do.
房♥子里住的你的人就比我的人多了
So?
所以
So there's a principl involved...
所以涉及到原则问题
...that we must discuss.
我们必须好好谈谈
Okay, so what's the principle?
好吧 什么原则
The principle is that...
原则是
you're my brother and I want you to be happy.
你是我弟弟 我要让你快乐
So Melissa can stay?
那么梅丽莎可以住下来
I mean, move in?
我是说 搬过来
Sure.
当然可以
Well, all right then.
那行吧
You know, I was thinking.
我在想
You've got me. Alan's got Melissa.
你有我 艾伦有梅丽莎
Even Jake's got a girlfriend.
甚至杰克都有女朋友了
We need to find somebody for Sir Lancelot.
我们得为兰斯洛特爵士找个伴了
Your cat?
你的猫
Yeah. Doesn't he deserve some happiness?
是的 难道他不该得到幸福吗
He can lick his own crotch. What else does he need?
他都能舔到他自己的胯部 还要伴作甚
Come on, Charlie.
得了吧 查理
Why shouldn't he have so companionship?
他为什么不能有个伴
All right.
好吧
How about we get him nice lady coyote?
我们给他找只小母狼怎么样
Charlie!
查理
What? It'd be good for ol' Lance.
怎么了 这对兰斯洛特爵士挺好的
Get a little exercise running for his life.
逃逃命 做点运动
You're terrible.
你真坏
Let the machine get it.
让那机器自己接吧
Hi, this is Alan.
我是艾伦
And this is Melissa.
我是梅丽莎
We're not home righht now and neither are Charlie and Chelsea.
我们现在不在家 查理和切尔西也不在
Well, Charlie might be home, but he's probably
查理可能在家 但是很可能
in no condition to answer the phone.
没时间接电♥话♥
Leave a message when you hear the beep.
当听到哔声时请留言
Beep!
哔
Hello, Charlie?
你好 查理
It's your mother.
我是你妈
Remember me?
还记得我吗
The woman who carried you in her womb
那个怀胎大概七个半月
for roughly seven and a half month.
生你养你的女人
Anyway, I'd say call me, but what's the point?
我还是得说回我电♥话♥ 但还有什么必要呢
I've long since given up expecting
我已经放弃指望你能关心我
any kind of consideration...
已经很久了
"Seven and a half months"?
七个半月
She always said, "If God wanted us to lose our figures
她总是说 如果上帝想让我们失去身段
he wouldn't have invented C-sections and incubators."
他就不会发明剖腹产和保育箱
Oh, hey, all.
大家好
We're home.
我们到家了
Oh, boy.
老天
Charlie?
查理
Oh, uh, just so you know,
只是想让你们知道
Melissa and I are going put our food on the bottom shelf
梅丽莎和我要把食物放在冰箱底层了
and you guys can take the top and we'll split the door, okay?
你们可以放在上层 我们会把门分开的
That's a great idea.
好主意
No, it's not. It's my refrigerator.
不 那是我的冰箱
Be quiet.
小声点
I bought it. I paid for it.
我买♥♥的 付了钱
Charlie! The whole thing, not just half.
查理 我买♥♥了整个冰箱 不是半个
Stop being a child.
别孩子气了
I'm just saying. I'm not going to forfeit
我只是想说 我不会因为放错了层
a grape sodaust because I put it on the wrong shelf!
而损失任何一瓶葡萄汽水
Mind if we join you guys? Sure.
介意一起聊天吗 当然不介意
What're we watching?
在看什么电视
An Odd couple rerun.
《貌合神离的夫妻》重播
Oh, I never really like that show.
我从没喜欢过那个剧
Why not? I dot really buy the premise.
为什么 我一点都不喜欢那个剧本前提
I mean, you know, who in his right mind would put up with somebody
谁会愿意这么多年忍♥受一个
who drives him crazy for all those years?
让他发疯的人呢
I mean, it would be different if they were related.
我是说 如果他们有血缘关系的话会不同点
That was fun picking out our wedding crystal.
选婚礼水晶挺有意思的
Oh, yeah. Barrel of monkeys.
是的 猴山猴海
I'm so excited about that big punch bowl.
我其实挺喜欢那潘趣酒碗的来着
You know what would be really exciting?
你知道真正有趣的是什么吗
Next time you ask me to go shopping with you,
下次你去购物叫我的时候
use it to cave in my skull.
先用它砸我脑袋
What the hell is this?
这究竟怎么了
Oh, look who's here.
看谁来了
Hey dude, party down.
嘿 伙计 开始狂欢吧
What are you doing?
你搞什么鬼啊
We invited few friends over.
我们只是和朋友小聚一下
You don't have any friends.
你哪门子来的朋友
Yeah, but Melissa does.
我没有 但是梅丽莎有啊
So now they're mine, too.
所以她的就是我的
They don't really like you.
其实他们不喜欢你哦
They do, too.
明明就很喜欢我
Dream on, meat puppet.
你就做白日梦吧你 肉食傀儡
Who said you could have a party?
谁说你能开派对的
I'm sorry. I thought we lived here.
抱歉 我觉得反正我们都住着了
Must we check with you about everything we do?
难道还要每做一件事之前都要得到您的同意吗
Yes!
必须的
What's that guy drinking?
那家伙喝的什么
Is that my grape soda?
是我的葡萄汽水吗
It was on our shelf.
那是从我们的那层架子上拿的
What did I tell you?
我早说过了
Okay, that's it. Charlie...
好了 我受够了 查理
No-no-no. No, no,this is not acceptable.
别拦着我 这太让人无法接受了
Hey, everybody!
各位
Everybody listen up.
各位听好啦
Party's over.
狂欢到此结束
Pack up your crap and get out.
带上你们的垃圾 滚出我家
I'm not kidding!
我可不是闹着玩的
One.
一
I'm counting to three, by the way.
顺便说一下 我只数到三
Two.
二
Ah, screw it.
不走拉倒
I'll leave.
老子走好了
Charlie.
查理
Forget it. I'm out of here.
别说了 我走了
See what happens when I do the right thing?
瞧见我做正确选择的下场了吧
Okay, I think you're really overreacting,
好啦 我觉得你的反应有点太过了
but if you want to spend the night at a hotel, fine.
但是如果你坚持要在酒店过夜的话 随你吧
No, I ll not come over there for a quickie.
不 我是不会过去跟你打快炮的
Good-bye, Charlie.
再见 查理
He just needs to cool off.
他需要冷静一下
We're really sorry, Chelsea.
切尔西 真是不好意思
We probably should have talked to you guys
在邀请我们的朋友过来时
before inviting our friends over.
我们真应该事先和你们商量一下
Your friends?
那是你朋友 好不好
Maybe we just need some kind of system
或许我们应该在客人方面
where we give each other a heads up about guests.
制定点条条框框什么的
That's a great idea.
这个主意太棒了
Excuse me.
打扰二位一下
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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