好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S07E11
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:01 p.m.
Easy come, easy go.
来得快 去得快
Sorry.
不好意思
Looks like the grandkids are getting
貌似今年外孙们还要牛肉干
beef jerky and Lotto scratchers this year.
和乐图玩具啊
Here.
拿去
You're too kind.
你太好人了
Don't mention it.
别提了
You got a big heart.
你真是心胸广阔
Thank you.
谢谢
Double or nothing they don't make the first down.
再赌他们不能拿下首次进攻
Oh, hey. Where you been?
嗨 你去哪里了
Out on the beach.
去沙滩了
So, how'd it go?
那怎么样了
Fine. I'm getting her a grape soda.
挺好 我来给她拿葡萄汽水
No, no, no, no, no.
不 不 不 不
You don't bring the grape soda to her.
你不要给她拿汽水
You bring her to the grape soda.
你带她来这里喝
Her who?
她是谁
Hang on.
等下
You bring her here.
你带她来这里
She sees your beautiful house.
看看你漂亮的房♥子
She thinks you've got it going on,
她认为你要更进一步
and then you've got a shot at...
然后你就有机会...
Well, I don't know what you got a shot at, but you got a shot.
嗯 我不知道你有机会干嘛 但你反正有机会
Whoa, whoa, catch me up.
喂 喂 怎么回事
Do you see what I'm saying?
你明白我说什么吗
So I should bring her here?
所以我应该带她来这?
Absolutely.
当然了
Women love this house.
女人喜欢这房♥子
It's an aphrodisiac.
这是催情剂
I don't think she's afro anything.
我觉得她不是黑人血统
She's more like Chinese.
她更像中国人
Wait, who's Chinese? What's going on?
等下 谁是中国人 到底什么事
He met a girl on the beach and I'm helping him out.
他在沙滩认识一女孩 我在帮他忙
What about Celeste?
那斯莱丝特呢
Uncle Charlie said my life shouldn't stop just 'cause she's not around.
查理叔叔说我的人生不该因为她不在而停顿
So you're encouraging my son to cheat on his girlfriend?
这么说你在鼓励我儿子背叛他女朋友?
Oh, come on, there's no cheating going on.
少来了 不存在什么背叛
Are you cheating? I'm not sure.
你有背叛吗 我不确定
You're not cheating.
你没有背叛
Yes, he is.
有 他就是
How would you feel if Celeste was somewhere right now
如果斯莱丝特现在在别处跟别人调情
flirting with some other guy?
你有什么感受
How do you know she's not?
你怎么知道她没有
She's with her mom.
她跟她妈妈一起
And you're with your dad,
你也跟你♥爸♥一起啊
but that's not stopping you, is it?
但也没有阻止你 对吧
Good point.
有道理
No, no, it's a lousy point.
不 不 这是歪理
Relationships are built on trust and mutual respect.
恋爱关系是建立在信任和互相尊重之上
Oh, grow up.
噢 成熟点
Relationships are built on diamond earrings and Viagra.
恋爱关系是建立在钻石耳环和伟哥之上
Now go take the young lady her grape soda.
现在拿汽水给那小女生吧
I still think it would help
我还是觉得如果
if I had some corn dog money to flash around.
我有点买♥♥热狗的钱会管用
Go.
去吧
Shame on you.
你太无♥耻♥
What's the big deal?
有什么大不了的
It's not like he and this Celeste girl are sleeping together.
他跟斯莱丝特又没上过床
No, no, but I think that once a relationship reaches any physical level,
不 不 但我认为一旦关系发展到肢体层面
there's an implied commitment.
那是有隐含承诺的
Yeah, that's because you married the first girl
是啊 那是因为你跟第一个
who touched your wiener.
碰你小鸡鸡的女人结了婚
Not true.
才不是
The first girl who touched my wiener was Maxine Chernakoff.
第一个碰我小鸡鸡的女孩是玛克辛·珍纳可芙
And she refused to marry me.
并且她拒绝嫁给我
As did the blind girl at camp, the school nurse
还有露营时的盲妹 学校的护士
and crazy cousin Wendy.
和疯表妹温迪
I hope you're proud of yourself.
但愿你引以为傲
I'm more proud of him.
我更为他而骄傲
I mean, he actually got her back here
我是说 他没有把人打晕
without hitting her over the head
也没有用粗麻袋装
and stuffing her in a burlap sack.
就真的把她带回来了
Pretty girl.
靓女啊
Yep.
对啊
You'd think she'd have more self-esteem.
你还认为她很有自尊呢
Hey, Jake may be dull-witted, but he does have
杰克可能有点迟钝 但他
a certain je ne sais quoi with the ladies.
对那女生肯定有点什么感觉的
Well, maybe six years of picking his underwear up with a rake
嗯 可能六年来用夹子帮他捡内♥裤♥
has made me immune to his charms.
让我对他不感冒
Hey. Nice work talking her into coming back here.
做得不错 说服她进来这里
I didn't really talk her into it.
我其实没有说服她来
She had to pee.
她要尿尿而已
Yeah, but you gave her the grape soda that made it happen.
是 但那是你给她的葡萄汽水发挥作用
Now, Jake, you're just hanging out
杰克 你现在跟她只是
with this girl, right-- as friends?
像朋友般的闲聊对吗
So far. What does that mean?
目前是 你什么意思
It means I haven't made my move yet.
就是说我还没有采取行动
What move?
什么行动
I'm not sure.
我不确定
That's why I haven't made it yet.
所以还没有采取嘛
Anyways, I don't think it's going to get serious.
总之我不认为会有什么发生
She doesn't even live here.
她甚至不住这儿
She doesn't?
她不住这儿?
No, she's just in town for the holidays visiting her aunt.
是 她只是进城度假探望她姑妈
She pronounced it "awnt," but I figured it out.
她说是姨妈 我猜是姑妈
Oh, dude, you have hit the jackpot here. I have?
帅哥 你中大奖了 是吗
This girl is most likely looking for a hot story
这个女孩很可能寻找一段艳遇
to tell her friends back home,
作为回家后的谈资
and you, you cute, little, clueless bastard,
而你 可爱年少 傻头傻脑
can be the star of that story.
说不定能成为她故事的主角
Really?
真的吗
Yes, so stop wasting time.
是啊 别浪费时间了
What are you even doing in here?
你到这里来干嘛的
I had to fart, and I didn't want to do it in front of her.
我想放个屁嘛 总不能在人家面前放吧
Attaboy. Good thinking.
好孩子 想的很周到
I thought it was you. I thought it was you.
我以为是你放的呢 我以为是你呢
Oh, that must be Mom.
肯定是老妈来了
Mom? What's Mom doing here?
老妈 她来这干什么
Well, it's Christmas Eve, Charlie.
今晚是圣诞前夜嘛 查理
I know. Why isn't she out stealing toys in Whoville?
我知道 为什么不叫她去谁城偷玩具呢(出自圣诞怪杰)
Merry Christmas, one and all.
各位圣诞快乐
Hello. Hi, Mom.
你好 老妈你好
Boys, this is the legendary TV producer
孩子们 这位是传奇电视节目制♥作♥人
Mr. Marty Pepper.
马蒂·佩勃先生
Hi. Hello.
你好 你好
Marty, these are my sons,
马蒂 这两个是我儿子
Charlie and Alan.
查理和艾伦
Is it important which is which?
有必要分清楚谁是谁吗
Not really.
无所谓啦
Would you help me with the wheelchair?
来帮我搬一下轮椅
I'll call you Scooter.
我就叫你张三
And you, uh, Dutch.
叫你李四
Uh, Mom...
老妈
are, uh, are you and he, um...?
你和他是那个...
Oh, good Lord, no.
天啊 当然不是了
The man is 1,000 years old.
这位都快万万岁了
It's a wonder his scrotum doesn't get tangled up in the wheels.
他的阴囊没缠在轮子上都是奇迹了
So he's just a friend?
那他只是普通朋友而已
Yes.
是的
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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