好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S07E06
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 4:58 p.m.
This one's...
这一种是
apple cinnamon.
苹果肉桂味
Nice.
不错
Want a lick?
尝一尝
No, thanks.
不 谢谢
You sure?
确定?
Tastes kind of like oily pie.
味道有点像油馅饼
I'll pass.
免了
Okay, more for me.
好吧 我再来点
You know, I appreciate this,
知道吗 我很感激你对我这么好
but I don't think it's going to solve my back problems.
但我不认为这能解决我的背痛
Well, not right away.
嗯 不能马上解决
But if we do this enough, who knows?
但如果多按一按 谁知道呢
You might feel so much better, you'll want bigger boobs.
说不定你感觉越来越好 就想要大点胸了
I don't think so, Charlie.
我不觉得 查理
Fair enough.
很合理
I want 'em bigger, you wan'em smaller.
我想它们大点 你想它们小点
so i compmize just they are
那就各让一步保持原状吧
God, I love th we can talk these things out.
能把这些话说出来的感觉真好
I made an appointment for a consultation
我预约了整形外科
with a plastic surgeon.
的医生做咨♥询♥
What
什么
The more I think about it, the more I think Alan's right.
我越想越觉得艾伦是对的
No-no-no, no, no. Alan's never right
不 不 不 艾伦从来没对过
Ask anybody.
你问问别人
He's like an idiot savant without the savant part.
他像个学究其实是个白♥痴♥
I'm hoping youl come with me for support.
我希望你来支持我
Hey, you can always cunt on me for support.
我一直是你的坚强后盾
I love you for who you are, not the size of your breasts.
我爱的是你的人 不是你的胸围尺寸
Thank you.
谢谢你
Of course it goes both ways, you know.
当然这也是双向的 知道吧
One of these days I'm gonna need you to love me for who I am,
总有一天我也需要你爱的是我的人
despite my old man balls.
而不是我的老蛋蛋
"Old man balls"?
老蛋蛋
They get long, baby.
操劳过度啊 宝贝
Hey, don't throw away your D-cup bras.
别把你的D罩丢掉
We may be able to re-purpose them.
说不定还能改作他用
Hi, Mom.
嗨 妈
Oh, Alan. To what do I owe
艾伦 我怎么摊上
this unannounced and inconvenient pleasure?
这种没有通知的麻烦事?
Uh, just hoping to ask for a favor.
只是想您帮个忙
I see.
我明白
Please tell me that there's
麻烦你告诉我袋子里有个
a severed head in that bag and you want me to hide it.
血淋淋的人头要我帮你藏起来
No, just socks and underwear.
不是 只是袜子和内衣
How many pair?
多少双?
Come on, Mom, don't make me beg.
来吧 老妈 别让我求你
All right.
好吧
You know where the guest room is.
你知道客房♥在哪里
Thank you.
谢谢
Uh, , uh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
我希望没有打扰到您
Not unless y want to talk to my gentleman friend.
没有 除非你想跟我男朋友聊天
I was joking, Edgar. Don't stop.
开玩笑的 埃德加 不要停
Good night, Alan.
晚安 艾伦
Night, Mom.
晚安 老妈
Edgar.
还有埃德加
Lord..
主啊
you' blessed me with a lot:
你保佑了我很多
more moneyhan I know what to do with,
钱多得不知道怎么花
a beautiful home,
漂亮的房♥子
and a surprisingly resilient live
还有意外的愉悦生活
You have truly given unto me with both hands.
你确实赐予了我这双手
Which brings me to my request.
而这也带来了我的请求
Of all the gifts you've bestowed upon me,
在您授予我所有的礼物当中
none are a greater testament to your glory
没有一项能比切尔西的神来之胸
than Chelsea's heavenly breasts.
更能证明你的圣明
I don't know why you cldn't have thrown in a sturdy spine
我不知道您为什么不附送一根
so she could tote those things around,
强壮的脊柱让她能负载
but who am I to question your methods?
不过我怎么敢质疑您呢
Anyway, you probably know thathe's thinking about
总之 你应该知道她正考虑
tampering wi your great work, and I was just
修改您的杰作 我只想
hoping that you could, you know, talk to her,
您可以 就是 跟她说
return her to the pathof righteou
让她回归正途
and bodaciousness.
和充满敬畏
Amen.
阿门
Oh, one more thing.
哦 还有一件事
I'm sorry we haven't talked recently, but I had
我很抱歉最近没有向您祷告 但我
a little crisis of faith after last year's Super Bowl.
在去年的超级杯之后有点信任危机
Water under the bridge.
过去的已经过去
I got healthy on the NBA Finals.
NBA总决赛后才算恢复
Nice work with Kobe, by the way.
顺便说下 科比最高
Looks like somebody missed their period again.
看来又是哪个女的月经没来
So, uh, where's Edgar?
埃德加呢
Oh, he didn't stay tonight.
他没在这过夜
Kind of a booty call.
原来是打快炮啊
More like a dine and dash.
其实是吃快餐
What'd you do to piss your brother off this time?
你这次又做什么事情惹到你哥哥了
Nothing. I-I just suggested that Chelsea's back pain might benefit
没什么 我只是建议乳♥房♥♥缩小整形术
from breast reduction surgery.
可能会对切尔西的背痛有所帮助
You suggested that Charlie's fiance get smaller breasts?
你建议查理的未婚妻缩小乳♥房♥♥吗
Yeah.
是的
While you're at it,
既然你这么说
why not try and reinstate prohibition?
何不试试重拾禁酒令呢
Well, anyway, Charlie an I have decided
总之我和查理决定
to take a little break from each other,
分开一小段时间
so I'll only be here a couple of days.
所以我只会在你这里呆几天
Oh, Alan.
哦 艾伦
I know I'm a little old to run home to mom.
我知道我老大不小了 不该老跑到老妈这里
Believe me, if I had money for a hotel,
相信我 如果我有钱住宾馆
I'd be there right now.
我早就住过去了
Well, it's nice to know that my investment
看来我在脊椎按♥摩♥学校的这笔投资
in chiropractor school was pesos well spent.
是赔得血本无归了
Hey, you know I-I think things are starting to look up.
知道吗 我觉得事情开始好转了
feel like I'm at a real turning point, career-wise.
感觉就像是我职业生涯的真正转折点
You're an eternal optimist, aren't you, Alan?
艾伦 你永远都是个乐天派 对吧
Yes. Yes, I am.
是 是 我就是
Oh, that just breaks my heart.
真是让我伤透心啊
So, we'd make an incision here...
所以 我们要在这里切开
And here...
还有这里
And one more here.
再在这里
Oh, God.
天啊
Then we would remove some fatty tissue,
然后我们会移除一些脂肪组织
reshape your breast and relocate the nipple.
重塑你的胸部 重新安置乳♥头♥
Oh, not the nipples.
哦 不要动乳♥头♥
I thought you were going to be supportive.
我原以为你会支持的
I am being supportive.
我是在支持啊
I just didn't know we were going to play Mr. Potato Head
我只是不知道要拿咱们的乳♥房♥♥
with our boobs.
玩土豆先生游戏
They're not our boobs, they're my breasts.
这不是咱们的乳♥房♥♥ 而是我的乳♥房♥♥
Hey, if we were to dust 'em for prints right now,
如果现在给它们做指纹鉴定
who's suspect number one?
谁会是头号♥嫌疑人
I take it you're not entirely on board with this.
我明白你不是完全赞同这个手术
No, no, no, no, I'm trying.
不 我试着支持了
I mean, I don't want her to be in pain,
我不想让她受背痛煎熬
but come on, look at those babies.
但是 看看那对宝贝
They're perfect.
他们太完美了
The only way you could improve on 'em is
你唯一能改进它们的方式
if you could make 'em squirt money.
就是让它们能挤出钱来
Don't worry.
别担心
They'll still be perfect when I'm done,
我做完手术后它们仍会保持完美的形状
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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