好汉两个半（2003）

Two and a Half Men S07E03

Part 2 Nov. 18, 2020, 4:58 p.m.

All right, open the little panel by the front door
打开大门旁边的小面板
And enter pound, star and the code.
键入英镑符号♥ 星号♥和密♥码♥
Pound is the little tic-tac-toe board.
英镑符号♥在那个一字棋的小面板上
Yeah, like on hollywood squares.
是的形状就像好莱坞广场
She still pop the pain pills? No.
她还在把止痛片当饭吃吗没
Good. See if she's got any leftovers.
很好问一下她还有剩的没
Okay, the code is jake's birthday.
好的密♥码♥是杰克的生日
Your grandson.
你外孙
Anyway, it's oh-three-one-four...
总之是0304
Oh, no, no, le-lenore, don't punch it into the phone.
不勒诺别往电♥话♥里输这个
No lenore! Lenore! Lenore!
不勒诺
Okay, okay, okay, calm down, calm down.
好冷静
I-I'll be right there.
我马上赶过来
I-I will turn it off for you.
我来帮你关了
Oh, okay, okay. Bye.
哦好的再见
I gotta go.
我得走了
You couldn't be more of a sucker
你"棍子"软下去后
If you were on the end of a stick.
更像个傻蛋
Why?
为什么
Beuse I'll take any excuse
因为我会找各种借口
To spend some time with my baby daughter?
去和我的宝贝女儿在一起
You don't know you're the father, Alan.
艾伦你还不知道你是不是她爸爸呢
Oh, come on.
别说了
She's got my jawline, my eyes, my ears.
她的下巴眼睛耳朵都得我真传
You left out thinning hair and poopy pants.
你漏了稀疏的头发和满是便便的裤子
That was one time
那是从前的事
And I begged you to stop at ass station.
求求你就别再提了
Oh, Alan, thank god you're here.
艾伦谢天谢地你来了
I pushed all the buttons, but I can't get to stop.
我按了所有按键但是就是停不下来
Well, that might be
那可能是
Because you were adjusting the thermostat.
因为你在调恒温器
Ah, there we go.
啊弄好了
Oh, thank god.
谢天谢地
Oh, here, let me see
让我看看能不能把这个警报也关了
Come here, Millie.
米莉过来米莉
Come to papa...
来爸爸这里
...Was a rolling stone
他是个四处漂泊的人
wherever he laid his hat was his home...
帽子他忘在家里了
Always sang this to jake.
我以前总是这么唱给杰克听
Worked like a charm.
挺奏效的
and when he died
当他死后
all he left us was alone.
他让我们孤儿寡母
Huh, look at that.
瞧瞧啊
Well, you're a miracle worker, alan.
艾伦你简直是个奇迹
Oh, no.
哦不是
I just have knack for babies.
我只是哄小孩有一套
And, uh, and amals.
还有"阿马尔斯"
It's only english-speaking adults that don't like me.
这是英国人对不喜欢自己的成年人的称呼
Well I think you're a wonderful fella.
我觉得你是个很好的人
And if you don't mind my saying,
如果你不介意的话
I think judith was a fool to let you go.
我会说茱蒂丝让你走真是太傻了
Well, she didn't so much let me go
比起让我走
As drop me from an airplane with an anvil necklace.
她更想把我用铁砧项链拴着扔下飞机
Okay, honey, time to get your bety rest.
好了亲爱的是时候睡个好觉了
I'm afraid that's gonna have to be a long nap.
恐怕这个觉会睡得很久
I mean, I hate to say it about my own granddaughter,
我讨厌这么说我自己的孙女
But let's face it-- with those big ears
但我们还是接受现实吧那对大耳朵
She looks a little like a fruit bat.
她看上去就像是大蝙蝠
I think her ear are the perfect size.
我觉得她的耳朵大小很合适啊
You would.
你肯定会这么认为的
How about some wine?
来点酒怎么样
Uh, uh, well, thank you, but I-I really should get going.
谢谢但我真的得走了
Oh, no, come on, join me.
来吧和我一起
Just one. We'll catch up.
一杯而已我们来叙叙旧
Uh... Lenore, it's really none of my business,
勒诺这真的不关我的事
But do you think you should really be drinking?
但你真觉得能喝酒吗
What? You mean, because I've been betty ford?
什么因为我去过贝蒂福特医疗中心吗
Oh, no, no, uh,
哦不是
Because you got kicked out of betty ford.
因为你被贝蒂福特医疗中心开除了
Hey, britney bit me first.
嘿是布莱尼先咬我的
Anyway, I was there for pills.
总之我只是因为嗑药去那里的
I have never had problems with alcohol.
我喝酒从来没问题的
See?
瞧见没
No problem.
没问题吧
Okay, now,
好了现在
Where did I hide those muscle relaxers
我把那些从墨西哥带回来的
I picked up in mexico?
肌肉松弛剂放哪了呢
That's right.
对了
Between my buttcheeks.
夹在我屁屁里了
Turn around.
转过身去
Uncle charlie?
查理舅舅
What?
干嘛
You hungry?
你饿了吗
'cause if you are, we could go get something to eat.
如果你饿了咱们可以出去吃点东西
And I'll even drive.
我来开车也行
Jake, I'm sleeping.
杰克我在睡觉呢
Okay.
好吧
You know, you could nap in the car.
其实你也可以在车里小憩的啊
I just gotta have adult with me.
只要有个大人在旁边呆着就行了
You don't have to be cautious.
你完全可以放心
I'm not hungry.
我一点儿都不饿
Okay, fine.
好了那算了
Hey, want to go see a movie? 'cause if you do...
那你想去看电影吗要去的话...
Maybe after your nap.
又或者等你睡醒后吧
Oh, crap, now I'm awake.
妈的老子睡不着了
Great.
正好
You hungry?
你饿了不
You're lucky you're single, alan.
艾伦你应该庆幸你还是单身
Oh, I don't know.
我倒不觉得
Oh, no, trust me.
不你相信我
I've been married for 39 years!
我都结婚39年了
Really?
真的吗
But judith's 40.
但茱蒂丝才40岁
Do you know what it's like to wake up every morning,
你知道当你每天早上醒过来时
Year after year,
年复一年日复一日
And see the same stupid face lying next to you?
你看见身边的总是同一张傻乎乎的脸是啥感觉吗
Uh, well, all I can tell you is what I told your daughter.
呃我只会告诉你的女儿
If you don't like it, roll over.
如果你不喜欢转过身去就好了嘛
Fred hasn't touched me in 14 years.
弗莱德已经14年没碰过我了
Uh, well, uh, in his defense,
呃替他说句良心话
He did have that stroke.
他的确是中风了
Do you know what happens to a woman's body
你知道一个女人的身体
When it goes unloved for that long?
这么久都没被人爱爱过会变啥样吗
Oh, gee, lenore, I don't really
勒诺我觉得跟您
Feel comfortable talking about this...
谈论这种话题很别扭
now, alan, come on, we're both grown-ups.
艾伦咱们都是成年人了
Think about what I'm saying.
好好想想我说的话
All right, well...
好吧
I'm getting an image of a...
我脑子里开始浮现出
A cave from an indiana jones movie.
印第安纳·琼斯电影里的洞穴的画面
What?!
什么
A cave well, you know-- cobwebs,
洞穴啊就是蜘蛛网啊
Dust, human skulls.
厚厚的灰尘啊还有人类的头骨什么的
This is my vagina we're talking about.
我们说的是我的阴♥道♥啊
Oh, I am well aware of what we're talking about.
我很清楚地知道我们谈论的话题
I've been so lonely.
我是如此寂寞难耐
Oh, oh, I'm...
呃抱歉
I'm sorry, lenore.
勒诺真是不好意思
A stroke's starting to look pretty good.
其实有时中风挺好的
Can't I at least back it out?
至少让我倒车出门吧