好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S07E19
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:03 p.m.
alcohol destroys brain cells.
酒精还会摧毁脑细胞
Alan, Alan,
艾伦 艾伦
you gotta tailor the pitch to the audience.
你得为观众量身定做
What do you mean?
什么意思
Forget brain cells.
别说啥脑细胞
Jake, listen to me. This is very important.
杰克 听我说 这很重要的
Alcohol can make a tough to get a boner.
酒精会让你硬不起来
You're kidding.
说笑吧
I can't tell you how many times I've said,
我都数不清我说过几次这种话了
"This has never happened before."
"这以前从没出过这事"
Huh.
好吧
Where are you going?
你去哪
To check out your theory.
核实你的理论
Remember, he's your son, and you love him.
记住 他是你儿子 你很爱他
Dr. Alan Harper. May I help you?...
我是艾伦·哈勃医生 有什么能帮忙的
Oh, oh, hi, Lyndsey.
你好 林赛
No, no, you're not interrupting.
没 你没打扰
Just doin' some stomach crunches.
就是在做些腹肌运动
Hang on.
等会
And... a thousand.
一千下
So what's up?
怎么了
Uh, tonight?
今晚么
Sure, sure, I'd love to.
好的 没问题 我很乐意去
Yeah, yeah, I know that place.
恩 我知道这地方
8:00? Perfect.
八点么 很好
See you then.
准点见
How about that?
这个怎样
She called me. Wants to have drinks.
她叫我去喝几杯
Nice. What are you gonna tell Jake?
很好 你打算怎样跟杰克说捏
Who?
谁
I mean, what do you mean?
我是说你啥意思
I mean, are you gonna tell him
我是说 你打算告诉他
you're hookin' up with his buddy's mom?
你准备上他朋友的妈妈么
Okay, first of all, nobody said anything about hooking up.
首先 没人说会上♥床♥
It's just drinks.
只是喝酒而已
And-and second of all, Jake went out and had drinks last night
其次 杰克昨晚跑出去喝酒
and didn't tell me.
也没有告诉我
Man, that's the most lame-ass rationalization
这是我从你口中听到的对
for questionable behavior I've ever heard from you.
可疑行为的最扯淡的合理化解释了
Yeah, so?
是啊 然后呢
Kudos.
干得不错
Hey, Uncle Charlie? You're wrong
查理大伯 你错了
It is so nice to get out of the house
能离开房♥子跟另外个
and spend time with another grownup.
成年人在一起感觉真棒
I know.
深有体会
It's hard to be a single parent.
单亲家长难做啊
Thankless, really.
完全是吃力不讨好
Oh, tell me about it.
可不是嘛
Dealing with the ex.
和前任打交道
Setting boundaries.
划清界限
The loneliness.
寂寞难耐
E frustration.
情绪沮丧
It's all worth it though.
但一切付出都是值得的
Yeah, my son is the greatest gift of my life.
是的 儿子是上天赐予我的最好的礼物
Mine, too.
同感
I can't imagine loving anything more than I love Jake.
我绝不可能爱任何事或人 超过爱杰克
To our children.
敬孩子们
Our children.
为孩子们干杯
Tell me I'm a good mom!
说我是位好妈妈
Oh, you're a good mom!
你是位好妈妈
I'm a dirty mom!
我是个放荡的妈妈
Oh, you're so dirty!
你可真荡
Uh, whoopsie!
抱歉
Automatic flusher.
自动感应冲水
Do, do that again!
再来一次
Okay.
好的
Not the toilet!
不是说马桶
Sorry! Sorry!
抱歉 抱歉
Hey!
站住
Hey-hey-hey-hey- hey-hey!
等等 站住
Aren't you grounded?
你不是被禁足了吗
Um, I think that's just when my dad's here.
我以为老爸在时才算数
Get in the house...
给我进来
All of you.
全部进来
I thought you were cool.
我还以为你不是老古董呢
No, you didn't.
不 你就以为
How old are you?
你多大了
Sixteen.
16岁
What about you? Same.
你呢 也是16
That's what I thought.
我也这么想来着
We were just goin' down to the beach.
我们就是去海滩逛逛
Nobody asked you.
没人问你话
I want you to listen to this.
我想让你们听听这个
And tell me if it makes you wanna watch the tv show.
告诉我 这是否勾起你们看电视的兴趣
Larry was just a single dad
拉里是位单亲老爹
Till a toxic spil in the science lab
直到某天实验室化学品外泄
Gave him super strength and x-ray eyes
赐予他神力和能透视的双眼
He cooks, he cleans, and now he flies.
原来他只会做饭加打扫 现在还会飞天
Superdad!
超级老爹
He's a super-bad, fightin' mad
他是超级老爹 神经兮兮
College grad, wearin' plaid superdad!
大学毕业 披着毛呢长披肩的超级老爹
Oh, my god, that's great!
天啦 太好听了
Absolutely fantastic. Yeah, I would so watch that.
实在是太棒了 我一定看这节目
You wrote that?
是你创作的吗
You think?
真的吗
Yeah, definitely. Yeah.
超赞
Oh, yeah, really makes you wanna see the show.
肯定会让人坐在电视前
Thanks. Thank you.
谢谢 谢谢大家
All right, well, I guess you guys all wanna get going.
那好吧 我想大家都想去海滩了
Yeah. Yeah, let's go.
是的 我们走吧
Psst, Jake.
过来 杰克
Yeah?
什么事
If you've got a choice, take the tall one.
如果你有戏 选那个高的
Why?
为什么
Trust me.
相信我
It's my superpower.
这是我的超能力
Thanks.
谢谢
Super uncle!
超级大伯
I'm back.
我回来了
Oh, good. I was starting to worry.
太好了 哥哥我正担心你呢
How'd it go with Jake?
杰克怎么样
Hardly knew he was here.
差点没发现他住这儿
Can you keep a secret?
你能保守秘密吗
The real question is "can I remember a secret?"
问题是 我要能记住你说的秘密才行
You were right.
那倒是
That's no secret.
这算啥秘密
I-I mean about Lyndsey.
我是说林赛
Who's Lyndsey?
林赛是谁
Eldridge's mom.
埃尔德里奇的妈妈
Who's Eldridge?
埃尔德里奇又是谁
Jake's friend.
杰克的朋友
The drummer?
那个鼓手
Anyway, we did wind up having sex.
言归正传 我俩以做♥爱♥划上了约会的句号♥
You and me?
咱哥俩儿?
You really need to get into a program.
你真需要去参加个戒酒互助会什么的
It's not funny anymore.
这一点也不搞笑
Humor is very subjective.
幽默是很主观的
Come on, be serious.
得了 正经点
I'm just telling you about Lyndsey
我跟你讲林赛的事
because I may need you to cover for me with Jake.
是因为可能需要你在杰克前打下掩护
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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