好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S07E21
Part 1
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:04 p.m.
Bill, did you notice that girl in the bikini
比尔你注意到那个穿比基尼的女孩
coming down the slope? I did...
从斜坡上下来吗 注意到了
You might want to eat something
你想不想吃点东西
so that when you throw up later,
这样等会你大吐特吐的时候
it won't just be alcohol and stomach juice.
就不会只有酒精和你的胃酸了
Way ahead of you.
你别着急啊
I call it an Egg McBourbon.
我管叫它鸡蛋梦幻波本
So this is your life now
你就打算这样混日子了
You just sit here miserable and alone,
痛苦而又孤独的坐着
waiting for Chelsea to call
期盼切尔西打个电♥话♥
I'm not waiting for her to call.
我才没盼着她打电♥话♥呢
I'm watching TV. Hmm.
我只是等着看电视
And occasionally, I cry.
偶尔的时候 我会放声痛哭
You do realize you're watching the Weather Channel
你知道你现在看的是天气频道吗
All the way to the South East...
一路向西南方向
Happy?
行了吧
Oh, yeah, The Pet Channel.
真会选 看起来宠物频道了
Who doesn't enjoy seeing a dog get his anal glands expressed
有谁不喜欢看狗狗舔自己的屁屁
Chelsea?
切尔西吗
Your ex-wife.
你前妻
Speaking of having one's anal glands expressed.
说到曹操就接到曹操电♥话♥
Hi, Judith. What's up
朱蒂丝怎么了
Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry.
天啊 真让人伤心
That's terrible.
真是件杯具
Oh. Her grandfather died.
他祖父死了
He was 94. It's no big deal.
他都94岁了 也到日子了
Well, he's in a better place now.
他现在在天堂了
He has to be.
他必须要去
He lived in Sacramento.
他住在萨克拉门托
I'm sorry. What's that ?
不好意思你说啥
You're kidding.
不是开玩笑嘛
Oh. Oh, I-I...
我一直以来
I always loved that clock.
都很喜欢那个钟
He left me his grandfather clock.
他祖父的钟留给我了
Very old, worth a fortune.
很古老了 还值老钱了
I can sell it and buy a new car.
我可以卖♥♥了换辆新车
Oh, Judith, that's just tragic.
朱蒂丝 真让人伤心啊
So, uh, when are they going to deliver the clock
那他们啥时候把钟给我送来
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
是啊 可不是吗
I guess your grandmother does have more important things
你祖母确实有更重要的东西
to box up now...
需要装箱
like your grandfather.
比如你祖父
You're right, not funny.
你说的对 我笑话太冷
She never got my sense of humor.
她从来都不理解我的幽默
Uh, well, I guess I'll just drive up
我想我♥干♥脆自己开车过去
to Sacramento and pick it up.
然后把它带回来
Uh, once again, my deepest sympathies.
再次说句 我真的很伤心
Okay.
好的
Score!
真他奶奶的棒耶
Help me out here.
能帮我理解下吗
Why would Judith's grandfather leave you a valuable antique
为啥朱蒂丝的祖父会给你这衰人古董钟
He liked me. I was the only one in the family
他喜欢我 在她家我是唯一个人
who would sit for hours listening
愿意一坐几小时听他说
to his stupid stories about Korea.
那些在朝鲜的傻故事
He fought in Korea?
他参加过朝鲜战争
No, he was a sex tourist.
他就是个寻找艳遇的背包客
Very creepy.
挺吓人的
You know, I always admired that clock.
我一直很喜欢那架钟
I remember the first time I saw it, I said,
第一次看见的时候我就说
"Bill, that is a hell of a clock you got there."
比尔 这真是一架很牛的钟
Uh, and he was hard of hearing,
可他耳朵不太灵光
so that led to the Korea stories.
就接着讲他在朝鲜的故事了
Oh, hey,
对了
you want to drive up and get it with me
你想不想开车送我去
Let's see.
让我想想
Do I want to drive six hours to Sacramento
我愿不愿意开6小时车去萨克拉门托
to pick up a dead guy's clock
就为了拿一个死鬼的破钟
With me.
和我一起耶
Don't take this the wrong way,
你别会错意啊
but I would rather get a maple syrup enema
我宁愿用枫糖浆洗肠
and then sit on an anthill.
然后一屁♥股♥坐在蚁巢上
You didn't just make that up.
你不是刚刚想到这句的吧
No. No, I've actually compiled a list of things I'd rather do
我只是列举了只要不用和你在密闭的空间呆着
than spend long periods of time with you in an enclosed space.
宁愿忍♥受的事情
Want to hear some more?
还想听听别的吗
No, thank you.
不用了
You sure 'Cause I got a beauty
你确定吗 有一个是绝妙的包括了
that involves hemorrhoids, a bottle brush and sea salt.
痔疮 瓶刷 海盐
I get it.
了解
I'll just take Jake.
我♥干♥脆带杰克去
Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.
等会
So both you and Jake are gonna be gone? Yes.
你和杰克都要去 是的
Score!
真他奶奶的棒耶
Here's ordinary cat litter
这是普通的猫砂
after five days of continuous use
经由一只健康的猫
by a relatively healthy cat.
经过五天的反复使用
Yuck! Looks bad, smells worse.
天啊 看起来恶心 闻起来更恶心
Now, here's Magic Pussy Litter
现在让我们看看神奇猫砂的表现
with its patented Cluster Busters...
它具有专利的技术
That is really cool.
真的好酷啊
Hey.
嗨
Hey.
嗨
What you watching
你看啥呢
An amazing breakthrough in cat crap technology.
具有突破性的清理猫便便的神奇技术
Dad says you're vegging in front of the TV
我爹说你在电视前虚度光阴
'cause you still miss Chelsea.
是因为你想念切尔西
Well, he's right for a change.
他说我该换个方式还是对的
You know, I kind of do, too.
我也很想念她
Remember how she would come down in the morning,
记得她早上总是走下楼来
and lean over to pour cereal for breakfast,
靠在这倒一份麦片做早点
and you could see right down her robe
你就正好可以从她领口一路看下去
Too soon?
太快了吗
What are you doing up so late ?
大晚上你折腾啥
I was hungry.
我饿了
Want to join me for a grilled cheese sandwich
想和我一起吃烧烤奶酪三明治吗
Nah. Pigs in a blanket
不要 热狗面包吗
I'm all right.
不用了
Two ice cream sandwiches on a waffle
华夫饼夹两个冰淇淋三明治
I'll pass.
真的不用
It's no trouble,
不麻烦的
I'm making 'em anyway.
两只羊也是赶
I'm fine.
谢了
You know, I really am sorry about you and Chelsea.
对你和切尔西的事我真的很难过
Well, thanks, buddy.
谢了哥们
Her boobs are real, right
她的胸是天然的对不
Yup.
是的
Outstanding.
妙极了
When can I drive?
什么时候让我开
When I get tired.
等我累了
Relax, take in the scenery.
淡定 看看风景
Okay, now what?
好了 然后呢
I don't know.
我不知道
Um... we enjoy each other's company.
嗯 我们享受彼此的陪伴
All right.
好吧
Okay, now what?
好了 然后呢
Oh, come on.
别这样
This is a golden opportunity to get to know each other
这是相互了解的绝好机会
as more than just father and son.
可以不只是父子关系
What else are we?
那还有什么关系?
We're two men on the open road, free and unencumbered.
我们好汉两个 大路朝天 自♥由♥自在无拘无束
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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