好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S07E10
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:01 p.m.
In the coat room banging Judith's sister.
在更衣室搞茱蒂丝的妹妹呢
Oh, right.
哦 对了
Wish you had that video.
真希望你有那段视频
So why does Chelsea want a prenup?
切尔西为什么要签婚前协议呢
Apparently she's got three fancy apartment buildings
显然 她拥有三幢高档住♥宅♥
she doesn't want me to get my hands on.
不想让我染指
Really? Anything I could live in for free?
真的吗 我可以免费住那里吗
You know, house-sit,
做个看门人
building manager in lieu of rent.
收房♥租的大厦管♥理♥员♥
How did this become about you?
这怎么和你扯上关系了
Fine, I'll stay here.
好吧 我还是留在这里吧
Oh, good. I was worried.
太好了 我担心死了
The point is, Chelsea's been keeping a secret from me.
问题是切尔西瞒着我这件事
Well, maybe she just wants to make sure that you loved her
也许她只是想确保你爱她本人
for herself and not her property.
而不是她的财产
Oh, so I don't even get the choice?
那我就没得选了吗
I would think that you would be happy.
我觉得你该高兴才对
This means she's financially well-off
这说明她经济宽裕
and doesn't care about your money.
不会计较你的钱
Which makes me trust her even less.
这就让我对她更不放心了
What?
什么
Alan, think it through.
艾伦 好好想想
If she's not interested in my money,
如果她看中的不是我的钱
then why is she marrying me?
那她为什么要嫁给我呢
I have no idea.
说的也对
Exactly.
没错
We may have to consider the possibility that Chelsea's insane.
我们也得考虑切尔西是个疯子的可能性
I see your point.
我明白你的意思
She look like she's sorry?
她看上去有丝毫歉意吗
Yeah.
是的
Sorry she ever met you.
抱歉她遇到你了
Hey, Chels.
嘿 切尔西
Hello, Alan.
哈喽 艾伦
My nipples just got hard.
我的乳♥头♥刚刚变硬了
Yeah, well, too bad.
太糟糕了
She deceived me and she doesn't trust
她欺骗了我
that our marriage is going to last.
不相信我们会白头偕老
Aren't you the one who wanted the prenup in the first place?
你不是最初提出婚前协议的人吗
That's different. How is that different?
那不一样 怎么不一样了
Because when I brought it up,
因为当我提出来的时候
I thought I had more stuff than her.
我以为我比她有钱
Okay, let me get this straight.
好吧 说白了就是
You're upset because you're marrying a woman
你很不安是因为你娶了一个女人
whose only character flaw is that she happens to have her own money?
她唯一的缺点就是有钱
I knew you wouldn't understand.
我就知道你不懂
* So we take each other's hand *
我们牵着彼此的手
* 'Cause we seem to understand *
因为我们明白
* The urgency *
心里那股冲动
* Just remember *
记住
* You're the one thing *
你是我的唯一
* I can't get enough of... *
对你我永远不知道满足
That's the last time she ever moved her pelvis like that.
那是她最后一次像那样扭屁♥股♥
So, are we going to talk,
那么 我们是要好好谈谈呢
or you're going to sit there pretending to read?
还是你坐在那里装着看书
I'm not pretending.
我没有装
If I didn't know how to read,
如果我不识字
I would've told you a long time ago.
早就会告诉你了
I wouldn't have deceived you.
我不会欺骗你的
Don't be such a child.
别这么孩子气
I'm the child?
我是小孩吗
You're the one who's been keeping secrets.
你才是那个保守秘密的人
Wasn't really a secret.
并不算什么秘密
I would've told you if you'd asked.
你要是问我 我早告诉你了
Oh, really?
真的么
So it's my fault that I didn't ask you if you're a land baron?
这么说我没问你是不是地♥产♥大亨是我的错咯?
What else should I be asking you?
我还该问点啥呢
Were you born with a penis?
你生下来时是带把的吗
Is this your home planet?
这里真你的母星吗
Okay, now you're being ridiculous.
你现在太荒谬无边了
No, no, no, what I'm being is committed to this relationship.
不 不 我现在是对这段关系太忠贞不二了
Really? You're committed?
啥 你还忠贞不二?
Yes, and I've jumped through hoops to prove it to you.
是的 我上刀山下火海就是为了证明给你看
What hoops? Dancing lessons?
什么刀山火海 不就舞蹈课么
No, not dancing lessons.
不 不是舞蹈课
Yeah, okay, dancing lessons.
好吧 是舞蹈课
And meeting your mom, and being nice to your friends,
还有跟你妈见面 对你的闺蜜们表现友好
even all the ones that don't like me,
即使其中之一根本不喜欢我
and letting you put these stupid throw pillows on my bed.
还让你把这些傻帽样的枕头放在我床上
Did I ever complain about that? Constantly.
我有抱怨过一句么 滔滔不绝
And yet here they are.
它们还在这儿
With your frilly curtains
还有你那镶花边的窗帘
and your girly lamps.
女人气的台灯
It's like living inside the I Dream Of Jeannie Bottle.
就像我生活在《太空仙女恋》(1965年首播的著名剧集)中一样
So I'm supposed to be grateful
那我应该有所感激
because you've behaved the way a fiance is supposed to behave
感激你作为一个未婚夫该对他所爱的女人
towards the woman he loves?
该做的事咯
Oh, yeah.
好吧
Okay, I see.
好吧 我明白了
Now you're going to turn it around on me.
你已经扭转乾坤 都算到我头上了
Make me the bad guy.
让我做坏蛋
Where are you going?
你去哪
I'm sleeping on the couch.
到沙发上去睡
In my house.
在我的房♥子里
Which you know I own
你知道我有这套房♥子
because I bragged about it the first night we met.
因为我们认识的第一晚我就吹嘘个不停
Alan.
艾伦
What? What-what's wrong?
什么 怎么了
Chelsea and I had a fight.
切尔西和我吵架了
Oh. I'm sorry to hear that.
听到这我很抱歉
You want to talk about it?
你想要谈谈
I just did. Now go sleep on the couch.
我刚谈完 你睡到沙发上去
Wait, if you and Chelsea had the fight
等下 是你和切尔西吵架
why do I have to sleep on the couch?
干嘛要我睡到沙发上去
You ever hear of crap rolling uphill?
不是东风压倒西风就是西风压倒东风
Now get out.
给我滚吧
You know, just using the word "please"
用请这个词就能
would go such a long way with me.
让我心甘情愿出去
Fair enough.
有道理
Please get out
请滚出去
before I pull your pajama bottoms up so far
在我把你的睡裤拼命往上扯
you'll be wearing your balls as a bolo tie!
直到把你的蛋蛋当做领结前滚出去
There, was that so hard?
这又有何难呢
I'm sorry for keeping a secret from you.
我很抱歉对你有所隐瞒
Is there any way I can make it up to you?
我有啥能为你效劳的吗
Okay, I would be remiss...
好吧 我想提一点
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
抱歉 抱歉 抱歉 真的很抱歉
You let me lay down naked on top of you!
你竟然让我在你上边裸睡
I didn't know it was you! I thought it was a dream
我不知道是你啊 我还以为我在做梦
and then when I realized it was you, I didn't know what to say
之后我才意识到是你 我不知道该说什么
and you're so soft and warm and...
你身体式那么的柔软那么的温暖
Oh!
痛啊
Oh, I deserve that.
我罪有应得
What the hell's going on in here?
这里发生什么事了
Your brother's a pervert!
你弟弟是个变♥态♥
You woke me up to tell me that?
你把我吵醒就是为了说这个
I came down here to apologize for keeping a secret.
我下来是为了我有所隐瞒而道歉
It was dark, and I thought it was you under the covers,
当时很黑 我还以为是你在毯子下面
so I laid down naked on him and he let me!
然后我就裸睡下去 而且他没有反抗
You let Chelsea lie naked--
你让切尔西裸睡在...
Wait a minute. You came down to apologize?
等下 你下来是为了道歉的
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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