好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S07E05
Part 1
Nov. 18, 2020, 4:58 p.m.
Not yet. Not yet.
还不可以 不可以
Ok,wait for the traffic until cleared
等前面没有车了再走
And then turn into the left lane.
转进左边的车道
Not yet. Not yet.
等等 再等等
Okay. Go
好了 走
Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.
快点 快 快 快
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
基♥督♥ 耶稣 菩萨保佑
All right, good.
挺好
Good, well done.
不错 开的不赖
Thank you
谢谢捧场
What are you doing?
你干啥呢
Driving.
开车呗
Both hands-- ten and two.
双只手 10和2
Twelve.
加起来12
No, no, like a clock.
哪和哪啊 我是指钟面
10:00 and 2:00.
10点钟和2点钟的位置
I have no idea what you're talking about.
完全不知道你讲的哪国外语
Put your left hand on the wheel.
左手老实放在方向盘上
Fine.
好啦
You got to like that he can add ten and two.
你也该欣慰了他至少知道10加2等于多少
Yeah.
有道理
And he did it in his head.
而且他还是心算的
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
嘿嘿 说你呢
Concentrate on the road.
专心点看着路
What? You listen to the radio while you drive.
你开车还要听广播呢
I'm an experienced driver.
我开车经验丰富
You drive like an old woman.
你开车就跟欧巴桑一样
An experienced old woman.
那也是个有经验的欧巴桑
My point is, never take your eyes off the road
永远不能让视线离开路面
Hey, don't distract the kid.
行了吧你 别唠叨了
He can barely crap and read at the same time.
这孩子连拉屎的时候都不能看书
I can, too! Don't look at me!
我可以 别看我
Look at the road! Don't yell at him! Jake, look out!
看路啊 别冲他喊了 杰克小心点
Look out!
小心啊
Will you guys just let me drive?
我说你们两个八婆能不能闭嘴
Fine, fine.
好 好
Drive.
你开车我们闭嘴
So, Charlie, when's your, uh...
那啥 查理 你未婚妻
when's your fiance back in town?
啥时候回来
Uh... next week.
下周
Huh. So, uh...
哦
so her dad's out of the hospital?
那她老爸出院了
Huh.They give him new hip and send him home.
是的 换了个胯骨出院了
So he had a bad hip?
他老爸的胯骨不太好啊
No, Alan, he has a bad tooth,
不是 他的牙齿不太好
but he went to the wrong doctor.
不过他找了个不咋地的医生
You don't have to be snide.
别假惺惺的了
You don't have to ask dumb-ass questions.
你根本不用问这些不着四六的问题
He didn't ask me anything.
他啥也没问我啊
Yellow lighht, yellow light, yellow light. Speed up.
黄灯 黄灯 黄灯 加速
Speed up, speed up, speed up! Slow down, slow down, slow down!
加速 加速 加速 减速 减速 减速
Okay, I've just about had it with you two.
我真是受够你们俩了
Now, if you don't quit it, I'm got to turn this car around
如果你们不给我闭嘴 我就把车停下来
and nobody's going to the movies.
咱们就都别去看电影了
Man, I've always wanted to say that.
天啊 我一直好想说这句话
I have to go to the bathroom.
我要去厕所
You should have pee when he made that left turn, like I did.
你应该和我一样在他左拐的时候尿
Oh, there's, uh... there's three over there.
那边有三个的座位
Too far away.
离得太远了
Why don't you ever wear your glasses? Because I don't need them.
你咋就从来不带眼镜 因为我不近视
Oh, really? So, why did your eye doctor prescribe them?
真的吗 那为啥你的医生给你开了一副眼镜
It's racket.
他就是个蒙古大夫
I think they print those charts blurry,
他们故意把视力表印的模糊
and then teld you it's your eyes.
然后再和你说是你眼睛的问题
Look, can we just sit down?
我们赶紧坐下来吧
No, no, slide... slide over one.
往里 往里坐一个
Slide over one. I need the aisle.
我要靠走道
Why do you always need the aisle?
你为啥老是要靠着走道
Because he's got a prostate the size of an apple,
因为他的前列腺就跟个苹果一样大
and he has to pee every five minutes.
所以他每五分钟就要去尿尿
There's nothing wrong with my prostate.
我的前列腺很正常
I've got a teeny bladder. It's genetic.
只是我的膀胱比较小 爹娘给的没办法
Another reason I think you were adopted.
这是你被收养的另一个证据
Ha, ha.
哈哈
Wasn't fun when I was six, not funny now.
我六岁的时候就没觉得这好笑 现在也一样
For God's sake, can't you at least wait
看在老天的份上 你就不能等一会
until the lights go down?
哪怕等到灯关了以后
I'm hungry.
人家饿了
Deviled egg?
辣鸡蛋?
No.
不要
Close the lid.
赶紧扣上盒子
It smells like a box of ass.
闻起来就像一盒子臭屁
I don't know why they call them deviled eggs.
真不明白为什么叫辣鸡蛋（魔鬼鸡蛋）
I think they're just heaven egg.
我感觉就像天堂鸡蛋
Why can't you just sneakn candy like a normal cheapskate?
为啥你不像别的小妞一样带包糖进来
Way ahead of you.
英雄所见略同
Still got these left over from last Halloween.
这还是万圣节剩下的存货
Shh.
闭嘴啦
What the hell are you doing?
你在搞什么鬼呢
How am I supposed to have a rum and Coke
要是不加朗姆酒
without the rum?
怎么能叫朗姆可乐呢
You're not supposed to bring liquorinto a movie theater.
电影院里是不可以带酒进来的
Oh，it‘s fine to bring a box of ass
带进来一盒子屁就可以了
Charlie Where are you going?
你在干什么呢
I'm going to sit over here.
我离你们远点
But... but this is family time.
但是 现在是家庭活动时间
I like this family better.
我更喜欢这家人
Oh, damn it!
该死的
I have to pee.
我要去撒尿
Oh, great.
该死的
Focus!
焦距
Focus!
焦距
Focus!
焦距
Another great movie choice, Alan.
艾伦 你又选了一部好电影啊
Excuse me, but it was recommended
不好意思啦
by four out of five critics
电影推荐里五个人有四个人给了好评
who were not plowed when they saw it.
他们看的时候都挺好的
Can we please just get some ice cream?
我们就买♥♥点冰淇林好吧
You sure we need to buy some?
你确定我们一定要买♥♥不
Your dad probably has gelato in his pants.
你爹的裤兜里没准就有雪糕呢
Uh-oh.
啊喔
What? Nothing.
咋啦 没啥
You know those girls? Kinda.
你认识那些小妞 算是吧
You want to go over and say hello?
你不用过去问声好
Alan, don't be an idiot.
艾伦 别跟个白♥痴♥一样
No teenager wants to be seen out with his father.
现在的年轻人不愿意见什么老爸级的人物
Especially when his father stinks of deviled ass eggs.
特别是那个老爸的味道跟个臭鸡蛋一样
Yeah, but teenagers love to be seen
可不是吗 年轻人特别喜欢
with degenerate rum-soaked uncles
见那些年老体衰的臭酒鬼叔叔
who always dress like they're on line at Epcot Center.
何况他还穿的像网络版艾波卡特乐园里小丑
Well, pardon me for having a personal style.
这叫穿衣服的风格
Will you guys please, please shut up?
我说你们两个能不能别互相咬了
Hi, Jake.
杰克你好
Hey.
嗨
Oh. She's cute.
哇 她好可爱
You guys go to school together?
你们一起上课吗
Of course they go to school together.
这不是废话吗
Where else is he going to meet a girl like that?
否则他还能在别的地认识这样的小妞
He has outside interests. He could've met her anywhere.
他有课外活动 没准在别的地认识的呢
He only has two outside interests,
他就只有两项课外活动
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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