好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S07E03
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 4:58 p.m.
No.
不行
Come on, nothing's gonna happen.
拜托啦 不会出事的
Look, you wanna eat or not?
你到底是想吃还是不想吃了
Fine.
好吧
What if we went to an empty parking lot?
如果咱们去了个没车的停车场呢
Could I drive it then?
那时候我能开车了吧
Damm it, jake, how many times I gotta tell...
靠 杰克 我到底要告诉你多少遍
What the hell was that?
那是什么鬼东西
I don't know.
我不知道
Sounds like you ran over a cat.
听着像你把一只猫给碾了
Told you you should let me drive.
我早说过应该让我开的
U know, chelsea's gonna completely freak out.
切尔西肯定会崩溃的
No, she will not be happy.
不会的 她只会不高兴而已
Doesn't even look like a cat anymore.
这猫被压得连它妈都不认识了
More like a cat pancake.
看起来就像猫咪煎饼
Catcake.
猫饼
Sorry.
不好意思
What am i gonna tell her?
我该怎么跟她说啊
She doesn't have to know.
她不一定要知道的啊
You're right.
说得对
She thinks sir lancelot's missing, so he stays missing.
反正她认为兰斯洛特爵士不见了 那就让她这么觉得吧
Sir squished-a-lot.
压死洛特爵士
Okay, okay, let's just think what we gotta do.
够了 我们得好好想想对策
We have to get rid of the body,
首先我们得把尸体处理了
Clean up the mess then act like nothing's happened.
把现场清理干净 然后装作啥事都没发生
Good plan, except...
计划不错 可惜
Except what? Say, "cheese!"
可惜啥? 来 笑一个
What are you doing?
你在搞什么啊
Making sure I get to drive yo car whenever I want to.
只是确保只要我想 我就能开你的车而已
What?! Give me that!
什么 把手♥机♥给我
Too late, I already emailed it to myself.
太晚了 我已经发到我邮箱了
You're bluffing.
你在虚张声势罢了
Perhaps.
很有可能哦
But can you really afford to take that chance?
可这个风险你担得起吗
hush, little baby, don't say a word
安静的小可爱 别说话
daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird
爸爸要给你买♥♥一只嘲鸟
if that mockingbird don't sing
如果这只小鸟不能为你歌♥唱
Forget it, I'm not sleepy.
别唱了 我不困了
Let's go in the hot tub!
咱们一起去泡澡吧
Uh, but I don't have a bathing suit.
可我没有带泳衣
Me neither.
我也没有
Come on, stroke.
神啊 快让我中风吧
Judith, ugh.
是茱蒂丝啊
Oh, this just keeps getting better and better.
屋漏偏逢连夜雨啊
oh, hey, look who's up.
哇 看看谁醒了
Hi, sweetie.
小甜心 你好啊
You need a little change?
你的尿布该换了吧
oh, yeah.
还真是啊
let you in on a little secret.
告诉你个小秘密吧
Before this day is over,
在今天结束之前
I might need to change my undies, too.
我的内♥裤♥说不定也得换
Uh-oh, it's your mommy again.
又是你妈妈打来的
Shh.
嘘
Hello?
喂
Oh, hey, judith, what's up?
嘿 朱蒂丝 怎么了
So, how's laguna?
拉古娜怎么样啊?
Laguna's fine.
拉古娜很不错
Um, listen, my mother's not answering the phone
听着 我妈没接电♥话♥
So I need you to go check on her and the baby.
所以我想让你去看看她和宝宝怎么样了
me? You, uh, you want me to drive all the way to sherman oaks
我? 你要我大老远开车去雪曼橡树街
To check on your mother who you assureme was clean and sober?
去瞧你那神志绝对清醒的妈妈?
What's that?
那是什么声音
Uh, uh, that is the... Is the tv that I am watching.
那是 那是我在看的电视节目
The... Baby channel.
宝宝频道
A... Uh, uh. Documentary about obese babies.
关于肥胖婴儿的纪录片
Tragic.
杯具啊
Okay, listen, I-I will check up on your mother for you
好吧 我会帮你去探望下你妈妈的
But, uh, you owe me one.
不过 你可欠我个人情哟
Oh, alan...
艾伦...
Not bad.
不错嘛
What's not bad?
什么不错
Uh, I an, it's not a bad idea for me to check up on her.
我是说 去探望下你妈是个不错的注意
Thank you. Call me when you get there.
谢谢 你到了打我电♥话♥
oh, dith...
朱蒂丝...
Look who mowed the front lawn
瞧瞧谁刚割过草坪
So, we're agreed.
这么说 我们达成一致了
We will never speak of this again.
我们再也不会提这件事
Well, that kind of depends on you, doesn't it?
其实这得看你 对吧
I've already got the shovel, jack.
我可拿着铁锹呢
I can dig another hole.
我还能再挖个洞
Charlie, I'm home!
查理 我回来了
Hi, sweetie, how was work? Okay.
嗨 亲爱的 工作怎么样啊 还行吧
I was a little worried about sir lancelot.
我有点担心兰斯洛特爵士
Have you see him?
你看见他了吗
No, haven't seen him, not a trace.
没 没看见
What about you, jake?
你呢 杰克
No, but if I was a cat I'd probably be on the beach.
没 不过如果我是猫应该会去沙滩
'cause, you know, the beach is one big litter box
因为要知道 沙滩就是一超大的猫砂盆
And the ocean is a giant fish bowl.
而大海就是个超大的鱼盆
Kind of like having a sushi bar in your bathroom.
就好比你厕所里有家寿司店
Wow, how great would that be?
哇 那多棒啊
I guess.
我猜也是
I'll still feel better when he comes back.
还是他回来了才能安心
We all will.
他会的
You're quite the little liar, aren't you?
你还真是个谎话精啊 对吧
I'm 15. My life depends on it.
我15岁 我过日子就靠这了
Chelsea, uncle charlie's gonna take me driving.
切尔西 查理舅舅要带我去兜风
Can we bring you back anything?
要我们帮你捎什么吗?
That wom just cut you off!
那娘们别你车头了
Learn how to drive, you whore!
学学怎么开车吧 你个破鞋
Yeah, I'm talking to you!
没错 我说的就是你
Lenore, ooh, lenore... Lenore, lenore, we should probably keep down.
勒诺 勒诺 我们还是小点声吧
We don't want to wake the baby.
别吵醒了宝宝
What baby?oh, right!
啥宝宝 哦对了
Hello, judith.
你好 朱蒂丝
Yeah, I was just about to call you.
是啊 我正想给你打电♥话♥呢
Uh, the baby's fine, nothing to worry about.Dith.
宝宝很好 没啥可担心的
Hey, judy, judy, judy!
嘿 茱迪 茱迪 茱迪
Uh... Yeah, yeah, that's her.
没错 是她
Uh-huh, blotto.
烂醉如泥
Uhno, no.
不不
No, no need to rush home, everything's under control.
不用急着回来 一切尽在我掌握
We're in the car, millie's sleeping in the back seat
我们在车上 米莉在后座上睡着
And we're heading for malibu.
我们正开去马里布
Ehab-ray.
戒酒中心
Ehab-ray?
戒酒中心?
You said you were taking me for crabcakes at gladstone's.
你说你是带我去格拉斯通(加州地标性餐馆)吃蟹煎饼
Well, I'm sorry, but you just don't have a choice here.
我很抱歉 你让我别无选择
The hell I don't.
我偏不
Lenore? Lenore? Lenore!
勒诺 勒诺 勒诺
Red light.
红灯
Slow down, slow down, stop!
减速 减速 停
You're making me realy nervous, you know that?
你让我很紧张 知道不
Hey, you mind getting me another grape soda
嘿 你不介意再给我来罐葡萄汽水吧
Yeah, I mind. Get it yourself.
我介意 要拿自己去拿
Fine. I just have to send this jpeg to chelsea real fast.
行啊 那我只能把这张照片传给切尔西咯
Okay, okay.
行啦 行啦
Look who finally came home!
瞧瞧谁回家啦
Who?
谁
Sir lancelot.
兰斯洛特爵士
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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