好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S07E10
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:01 p.m.
I'm weak because you broke my spirit at age five.
我之所以脆弱是你在我五岁的时候搞得我精神崩溃
Oh, boo-hoo for you.
哦 真为你感到不幸
Guys, guys, can we please not do this?
我说你们不要这样 行吗
What?
怎么样
Just saying hello.
只是随便打个招呼而已
I'm going to go put this stuff away.
我上去把东西放下
Thanks again for the scarf.
谢谢您送的围巾
My pleasure, dear.
不用客气 亲爱的
Looks beautiful on you.
你戴上简直美呆了
Thank you.
谢谢
That woman is just a treasure.
她可是个难得的女人
I know.
我知道
Worth her weight in gold. Yes, she is.
简直就是无价之宝啊 的确
Speaking of which, have you talked to her about a prenup?
说到宝贝 你跟她提前过婚前协议吗
What?
什么
No, I'm not going to ask her for a prenup.
没有 我不会让她跟我签那个的
Charles, 50% of all marriages end in divorce.
查理 超过一半的婚姻都是以离婚收场的
And guess which half the guys
猜猜看是哪一半男人
who can't keep it in their pants fall into?
关不住自己裤裆里的鸟儿?
Hey, I have never once cheated on Chelsea.
可是我从来没做过对不起切尔西的事
How long have you known her?
你认识她多久了
I don't know-- about a year and a half.
不太记得了 一年半吧
How long do you plan on being married?
那你俩打算结婚有多久了
Criminy, I need a prenup.
妈的 看来我还是得签个婚前协议
And...one,two,three.one two three.
一 二 三 一 二 三
Very... nice, two, three.
非常...好 二 三
You're doing great, sweetie.
宝贝 你跳得不错
Have you been practicing?
你最近有练习吗
No, no, no.
没有 当然没有
I'm a musician.
我可是位音乐家
It's instinctive.
全凭直觉
So, the pictures Jake e-mailed me
所以杰克发给我
of you and Alan cheek to cheek was just what,
你和艾伦脸贴着脸的照片
a tender moment between brothers?
只是你们兄弟俩的温柔一刻?
How old do kids have to be
小孩一般到了多大
before it's legal to punch them?
揍他们才不算犯法啊
Come on.
拜托
You'd never hit Jake.
你才不会揍杰克呢
That's exactly what I want you to tell Child Serves.
这句话你留着跟儿童保护中心说吧
I think it's great that you cared
我觉得你会练习
enough about this to practice.
就表示你对这件事很上心
So, I get some points in the bank?
那这次能往我的爱心账户存几分啊
Whole bunch.
满分
Good. Good.
不错 不错
Speaking of the banks, I've been thinking.
说到账户 我最近一直在想
Now, don't overreact,
先说明 你别太激动
but maybe we should start talking about,
但或许咱们是时候该谈论这个了
you know, the possibility of getting some kind of a--
也就是可能采取某种措施之类的
what do you call them?-- prenup.
你管那个叫什么来着 婚前协议是吧
Sure.
当然可以
You want your lawyer to draw it up or mine?
你是想让你的律师来起草协议还是我的?
Now switch partners with the couple to your left.
现在请跟你左手边的夫妇换舞伴
Hello.
你好啊
Hi.
你好
Are you two getting married?
你们俩是准备要结婚吗
Yeah.
对
That's wonderful.
真好
It took me 38 years
我花了38年的时间
to get my husband to dance with me.
才说服我的丈夫跟我一起跳舞
Well, better late than never.
晚点总比没有强啊
He's only doing it now 'cause I caught him
他之所以愿意是因为
banging our church organist.
我抓到他和我们教堂的风琴手偷♥情♥了
Want to help a nice lady give a little payback?
你想帮助一位好心的太太报复她丈夫吗
Switch!
交换
Hi. Missed you.
想死你了
Me, too.
我也是
So, you were saying you're okay with the prenup thing?
所以说你对婚前协议一点都不介意咯?
Yeah. In fact, I was trying
对啊 其实我还在想着
to figure out a way to bring it up.
怎么跟你提起来会比较好呢
Really? Why were you going to bring it up?
真的吗 为什么你要跟我提这个
Well, I just think it's smart
我只是觉得这是个明智之举
for both of us to protect our property.
能让咱俩都好好保护自己的财产
What property do you have?
你都有什么财产
Um, not a lot.
不是很多
Just a little real estate.
就是点不动产
Real estate?
不动产?
No big deal.
没什么大不了的
Just a few apartment buildings.
就是几栋公♥寓♥大厦
Buildings?
大厦?
And switch!
交换舞伴!
Keep walking, pal.
伙计 找别人去
When were you planning on telling me you own buildings?
你打算什么时候告诉我你还有几栋大厦
Um, I didn't think it was that important.
我觉得那不重要
Well, it's important enough for you to want a prenup.
如果你要签婚前协议的话 那就变得重要了
Hey, you're the one who brought it up.
哎 是你先提起来的好不好
Yeah, but I'm not hiding anything from you.
对 但是我对你没有半点隐瞒
You know everything I've got.
我的家底你一清二楚
A house on the beach, a car in the garage
海边一幢房♥子 车♥库♥里一辆车
and a worthless douche in my guest room.
客房♥里一个不值钱的蠢蛋
What about all the royalties from your music?
音乐获得的版税呢
Yeah well, uh...
是 那个...
you've got buildings.
你有房♥子呢
Just three.
只有三幢
Just three?
只有三幢吗
Why are you getting so upset?
你怎么变得这么烦躁呢
I thought I knew you.
我以为我了解你
I had no idea you had some secret life as a slumlord.
我根本不知道原来你背地里原来是个包租婆
I'm not a slumlord.
我才不是包租婆呢
Two of the buildings are in the marina,
其中两幢房♥子在码头那里
and one's in Brentwood.
另一幢在布伦特伍德
Oh, my God, that's even worse.
天啊 那就更糟糕了
Why?
为啥呢
We've been together almost two years.
我们在一起都快两年了
Would it have killed you to pick up a check once in a while?
偶尔买♥♥下单你会死啊
Switch!
换人
Hello again.
又是你啊
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
女士们先生们 请欢迎
for the first time as husband and wife,
初次结婚的
Mr. and Mrs. Alan Harper.
艾伦·哈勃夫妇
* Now I've had the time of my life *
我迎来了此生最美好的时刻
* No, I've never felt like this before *
这种感觉前所未有
* Yes, I swear it's the truth *
我发誓事实如此
* And I owe it all to you *
因为有了你
* 'Cause I've had the time of my life *
我拥有了此生最美好的时光
* And I owe it all to you... *
因为有了你
How was dance lessons?
舞蹈课怎么样了
Want to know how dance lessons were?
想知道舞蹈课怎么样了吗
I'll tell you how dance lessons were.
我来告诉你吧
Chelsea wants a freakin' prenup!
切尔西想要签该死的婚前协议
Just 'cause you dance like a middle-aged white guy?
因为你跳舞跳得像个中年白人吗
I'm not middle-aged.
我才没到中年呢
Oh, sorry.
抱歉
You. You're middle-aged.
你 你才是中年人
I'm younger than you.
我比你年轻
You're also broke,
你还破产了
losing your hair and sleeping on my hide-a-bed.
头发脱落 寄养在我家
Always gotta bring a gun to a knife fight, don't you?
你总是想小题大做是吧
What the hell are you watching?
你在看什么呢
It's my wedding video.
这是我的婚礼录像
No kidding. Where am I?
开玩笑吧 我人呢
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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