好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S07E01
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 4:57 p.m.
Okay, seriously, what did you do today?
行啦 说真的 你今天都干嘛了
Nothing.
没啥啊
Just a regular day.
很普通的一天
Had coffee with you, hung out with Alan a little bit,
跟你喝咖啡 跟艾伦晃了会儿
then came home, had a drink, took a nap,
然后回家 喝了点小酒 睡了会儿小觉
next thing I know you're walking in
接着就是你淫言浪语地
the front door with your whore talk.
回到了家
All right, whatever.
行啦 随便吧
Oh, yeah, there was one other thing.
对了 的确还有件小事
Really?
真的?
Yeah, I ran into an old buddy.
是啊 我跟一个老伙计偶遇了
What's her name?
她叫什么
Her?
她?
Why do you assume it's a her?
你怎么就知道一定是个女的呢
When you've seen one of your old guy friends,
你要是碰见的是个哥们
you don't try to hump me into a coma.
能干到差点精尽人亡?
Fair point.
说得好
It was Mia.
是米亚
Mia, the old buddy you almost married?
米亚 你差点跟她结婚那个老伙计?
Yeah.
是
And?
然后呢
And nothing.
然后没有了
Well, she did ask me if
嗯 她问我能不能
I'd help her out with this music thi she's doing.
帮她发展音乐事业
BuI said no. How come?
但我拒绝了 为什么
I thought 'd be inappropriate.
我觉得不是很合适
Why? You still have feelings for her?
为什么 你对她还有感觉?
No, no, of course not.
不 不 当然不是
Then why wouldn't you help her out?
那你为什么不帮她呢
What?
什么
I mean, if she's just a friend,
我是说 如果她只是你的朋友
then why would it be inappropriate?
那有什么不合适的
Okay.
好吧
no reason？
没有理由?
So you're saying I should help her out?
那么你是说我应该帮她
Unless you still have feelings for her.
除非你对她还有感觉
I guess I'll help her.
我想我会帮她
Good.
很好
Good.
是福
Or bad.
还是祸
probably bad
估计是祸
I'm gonna go with bad.
我是肯定躲不过了
Hi, Charlie!
嗨 查理
We were st having a little
我们刚刚在海里
moonlight skinny dip in the ocean.
洗了个月光浴
Good thinking.
好主意
Nothing more romantic than seaweed
没有什么比海藻挂在
hanging om a cold, shriveled penis.
又冷又缩的老二上更浪漫的了
There's no seaweed--
没有海藻
Don't put it on the table!
别放在桌上
Sorry.
对不起
Alan, what do you say we take a hot shower
艾伦 你觉得我们去洗个热水澡
and un-shrink the Snuffleupagus?
然后重新做下伸展运动怎么样啊
He'll be fine.
我小♥弟♥弟♥会好的
It's Bert anErnie I'm worried about.
我担心的是蛋蛋
I think rt has ascended to my rib cage.
估计它都快缩到我胸腔里去了
You go ahead. I'll be right there.
你去吧 我等下来
ey-doke. Okay.
好的 好
Hey, uh, can I ask you something?
嗨 我可以问你个事吗
I am not gonna help you find your missing testicle.
我可不想帮你找失踪的睾丸
No, no, it's about Melissa.
不是 不是 是关于梅丽莎
What about her?
她怎么了
Well, now that we're seeing each other again,
嗯 现在我们又在交往了
the fact that she still lives with h mom
实际上她跟她妈住一起
presents kind of problem.
有点麻烦
Why?
为什么
'Cause you crakled mom's Elmo?
就因为你挖过她妈的古井?
It was just light necking.
那只是稍微亲热了下
I never touched her Elmo.
我从未碰过她的古井
Anyway,
总之
since you set the precedent
既然你开了让女朋友
of having girlfriends move in here,
搬进来住的先例
uh, I was wondering if maybe...
呃 我在想是不是可以
No.
不行
Why not?
为什么
You let Chelsea move in.
你让切尔西搬进来
It's my house.
我是主
You ara guest.
你是客
And by "guest," I mean leech I tolerate until our mother dies
而"客"是指在妈死之前我要忍♥受的蛀虫
and she n't lay a guilt trip on me
仅仅是因为这样她就不能怪我
for kicking your ass to the curb.
让你睡马路牙子
You're gonna kick me out whenom dies?
妈死了之后你就要让我滚蛋?
You're planning on being here until Mom dies?
你打算妈死之前都在这住?
Okay, okay, we're gettg off subject.
好了 好了 我们跑题了
What about Jak You let Jake move in.
杰克呢 你允许他搬进来
You're not helping your case here, Alan.
你这是在白费功夫 艾伦
But m just saying...
但我刚才说
I said no!
我说不行
Hmm. Hey, Bert, welcome back.
嗨 伯特 欢迎回来
That's a pretty mouth, but it ain't made for singing.
好一张漂亮的嘴巴 但不是为唱歌♥而生
What's it made for?
那是为什么而生呢?
Eating.
吃饭
I thought maybe she meant oral sex.
我还以为她说的是口♥交♥
So?
怎么样
Wow.
哇
You want to run it again? I don't.
你想再来一次吗 不想
I mean, there's a danger of over-rehearsing it.
我是说 物极必反嘛
Yeah. Plus I kind of nailed it, right?
而且我唱的也没话说是吧
I don't see it getting any better.
我是看不出来还有什么进步空间了
That is so sweet, Charlie.
你太会说话了 查理
Thank you.
多谢
I don't know how I'd do this without you.
没有你我可怎么办啊
Hey, I don't derve any credit.
不能归功于我啊
God gave you that voice.
是上帝赋予你这副嗓音
I had nothing to do with it.
跟我可是没一点关系啊
Oh, hello.
你们好
There she is!
她来了
Chelsea, this is Mia. Mia, this is Chelsea.
切尔西 这是米亚 米亚 这是切尔西
We were just rehearsing.
我们刚才在练歌♥
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mea to interrupt.
不好意思 我没想打搅你们
What? No-no, no, there's nothg to interrupt.
哪的话啊 没什么可打搅的
She's singing, I'm playing piano,
她唱歌♥ 我弹琴
Alan, Berta and Jake are right therin the kitchen.
艾伦波塔杰克都在厨房♥
Guys, Chelsea's home.
大伙啊 切尔西回来了
I should get going. Good.
我该走了 好啊
I mean, you don't have to, but good.
我意思是 你不必走 不过走就走吧
Rehearsal was good.
歌♥练得不错啊
You've got yourself a terrific guy here.
你男朋友真挺棒的
I know. Nice to meet you.
我知道 很高兴认识你
Nice to meet you, too.
我也一样
I'll see you Saturday at the studio?
那我们星期六录音棚里见了?
You bet.
当然
* Y'll never find...
你再也找不到...
No, no, save your voice.
先别唱 保护好嗓子
Yikes.
难听死了
So, how'd it go?
怎么样
Well, uh, how can I puthis?
我该怎么说呢
She's the picture you stick on the cover
她就是北♥京♥奥♥运♥会开幕式上
of an album by a fat girl who can actually sing.
唱"歌♥唱祖国"的那位林妙可
That's not what I mean.
我问的不是这个
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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