好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S12E01
Part 1
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:08 p.m.
Alan.
艾伦
Hurry up.
动作快点
The girls are almost here, and I'm a...
小妞们都快到了 我也...
** Hunka hunka rotting love. *
* 啪啪 腐烂[燃烧]的爱
Sorry, just finishing up my costume.
抱歉 在给我的变装做最后修饰
Who the hell are you supposed to be?
你这他♥娘♥的♥是在扮啥呢
You never saw Pretty in Pink?
你没看过电影《红粉佳人》吗
Oh, right! You're Molly Ringwald.
我知道了 你是扮莫利·林沃德[女主角]
Ha-ha. I-I'm Duckie.
哈哈 我是达奇
You know, the-the best friend, the-the scene stealer?
女主最好的朋友 抢走主角光芒的角色
Some would say the true star of the film.
有些人甚至认为他才是该片的主角
Who played him, Boy George?
谁演那角色的来着 乔治男孩吗
Hey, what do you think about zombie Elvis, baby?
你觉得我这身僵尸猫王装扮如何 宝贝
And don't be cruel.
《别太残忍♥》[猫王歌♥名]
It's great.
很棒
You look like both the impersonator at my wedding
看起来像我婚礼上模仿猫王的表演者
and my ex-wife.
和我前妻的混合体
Thank you. Thank you very much.
谢谢 谢谢各位观众
What decays in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
在赌城腐烂的事 就留在赌城吧
Oh, hey, uh, did your friend Stacy say anything
你朋友史黛西有说
about the girl she's bringing for me?
带给我的妞是什么样的吗
Uh, just that she's supposed to be really cute,
只说她是超可爱的那型
and she just moved out here after a tough breakup.
而且搬过来是因为刚经历一场心碎的分手
Ooh, hot, lonely and damaged.
正点啊 寂寞又脆弱
Duckie's getting lucky.
达奇有得爽了
You know, if Duckie really wants to get lucky,
如果达奇真想有机会爽一发
he'll tell the girls that he's someone that people remember.
就应该告诉妞们他扮演的是广为人知的角色
Like Ferris Bueller.
比如菲利斯·布依勒
Fine, you win again, Broderick.
行行行 你又赢了 布罗德里克
God, you know what I love about Halloween?
你知道我最爱万圣节的什么吗
You can put slutty in front of any job position,
你可以在所有职业前面加上"淫♥荡♥"
and it becomes a costume.
然后将其变为一种装扮
Slutty nurse, slutty librarian, slutty lunch lady.
淫♥荡♥护士 淫♥荡♥图书馆员 淫♥荡♥食堂阿姨
Hey, you didn't know Mrs. Goobadeck
干嘛 你要是认识马克·吐温小学的
from Mark Twain Elementary.
古达贝克女士就信我了
She rocked that hairnet.
她戴着发网的样子风♥骚♥到爆
My chest.
我的胸口
Seriously? W-What's going on?
你是认真的吗 你怎么了
I don't know, I can't breathe, my chest is tight.
不知道 我喘不过气 胸口好闷
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
天啊 天啊
Here, here. Sit down.
来来 坐下
Oh. Uh, well, uh, don't worry.
没事 别担心
I-I'm sure this is nothing, but, uh...
我相信应该只是小问题 不过...
I'm going to call an ambulance, just in case.
为了以防万一 我还是叫救护车吧
Just, uh, just stay calm.
别慌 保持冷静
You're gonna be fine.
一定会没事的
Help! My friend is dying!
救命啊 我的朋友要死了
I can't settle down, I think he's having a heart attack.
我怎么冷静啊 他都心脏病犯了
Oh, my God, I'm having a heart attack.
天啊 我犯心脏病了
Oh. No, no.
不是 不是
I-I'm just saying that to get them to hurry.
我瞎掰的 好让他们快点来
I'm not just saying that.
我可不是瞎掰的
I think he's headed toward the light.
我觉得他离天堂就差几步路了
I can't feel my left arm.
我感觉不到我的左手臂了
Um, uh, you're gonna be okay.
你会没事的
It's probably just gas. Try to fart!
可能只是胀气 把屁放出来试试
Trick...
不给糖
Or treat.
就捣蛋
Oh, ladies. I'm sorry, you just got here during a bit of a...
姑娘们 抱歉你们来的时间有点...
Ooh, I can see your nipples, officer.
妈呀 我能看见你的乳♥头♥ 警官
Anything you see will be held against you.
你所"看"到的一切 都将成为呈堂证供
And I'm Harry Potter.
我是哈利[毛多]波特
But I'm not so hairy.
但我毛可一点都不多哦
She's mine.
她是我的
Didn't work!
放了没用
Don't worry, we're almost to the hospital.
别担心 我们快到医院了
Sir, are you taking any medications?
先生 你有在服用任何药物吗
Well, I take a generic Lipitor and a women's multi-vitamin.
吃便宜降胆固醇药加女性多重维他命
I mean, just so you know, I take the women's
我之所以吃女性维他命
'cause it has more iron.
是因为它含有更多铁质
Same price, more iron.
同样价钱 铁质加倍
Yes, please.
何乐而不为
Is he gonna be okay?
他会没事的吧
We're doing all we can, sir.
我们会尽一切努力 先生
I can't believe this is happening, you know?
我真不敢相信会发生这种事
He's so young!
他还这么年轻
He leads such a healthy lifestyle...
生活习惯这么健康
Well, except for all the pot.
除了吸大♥麻♥之外
You know, the-the weed.
你懂的 大♥麻♥叶
The... the ganja.
麻...
The ol' Mexican spinach.
墨西哥菠菜
Alan, if I live, I'm going to kill you.
艾伦 如果我没死 我一定宰了你
Stop it. You are gonna live.
别乱说 你当然不会死
Is he gonna live?
他不会死吧
We're en route with a 35-year-old male.
我们载着一名35岁男性正在路上
BP is 160/94, pulse is 108.
血压160/94 脉搏108
And he's dressed as zombie Elvis, over!
他打扮成了僵尸猫王 完毕
I-I don't know if you guys need to know that.
我不知道你们需不需要知道这信息
They don't.
不需要
By the way, uh, I'm dressed as...
对了 我扮演的是...
Ferris Bueller?
菲利斯·布依勒吗
Hey, hey, at least I took a chance with my costume.
好歹我有勇气冒险试试新打扮
I mean, Elvis and zombies.
瞧你的猫王加僵尸
It's real original.
真是烂大街的装扮
Next year, it's vampire Obama.
明年是不是要扮吸血鬼奥巴马
Yes, we can!
是的 我们行[奥巴马名言]
Excuse me, do you have anything for the pain?
抱歉你有可以缓解...
In my ass?
傻♥逼♥的药吗
I know, I know.
行行行
I'm just... I'm freaking out because I'm worried.
我 我抓狂是因为我很担心
I mean, you are my best friend.
你是我最好的朋友
And if something were to happen to you,
如果你有什么三长两短
I don't know what I would do.
我不知道我会怎么样
I mean, I-I've already lost a brother.
我都已经失去过一个哥哥了
I can't lose you, too!
我不能失去你
A-And you're more of a brother than he was.
而且你比他更像是我的哥哥
And now Jake's in the Army, and I'm all alone.
而现在杰克又去参军了 我孤独一人
And I don't do well when I'm alone...
我孤独的时候真的不太行
Here, breathe.
给 深呼吸
Thank you.
谢谢
Am I crazy, or is, uh, something happening here?
我发疯了 还是我们真的有点来电
Oh, good, uh, you made it.
太好了 你赶到了
Uh... Oh, I-I'm sorry I pulled you out of your Halloween party,
抱歉把你从万圣节派对中拉出来
I just figured you'd want to...
我猜你会想...
I wasn't at a Halloween party.
我不是在参加万圣节派对
I-I just assumed, since you're dressed...
我会这么认为是看到你穿成...
So what happened?
所以到底怎么了
I don't know.
我也不知道
We were about to go out,
我们本来打算出去玩
and he got chest pains and suddenly collapsed.
他说胸口疼 然后突然就倒下了
He's so young.
他还这么年轻
So fit.
这么健壮
So not you.
这么不像你
Hope he's okay.
希望他一切平安
I never thought I'd have a boss better than your brother,
我从来没想过会有一个比你哥更好的老板
but Walden is good people.
但沃顿是个好人
He's the best.
他最好了
The guy has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met.
他的品德如此高尚 无人可比
Yep, a heart of gold.
是啊 他胸怀宽广
Clogged with arterial plaque.
里面塞满了动脉斑块
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表