同志亦凡人（2000）

Queer as Folk S03E03

Part 3 Oct. 21, 2020, 3:07 p.m.

Oh my God, you're a bigger fucking snob than I am.
天呐你简直比我还势利
Must be why I love you.
怪不得我这么爱你
What's this?
这是什么
It's a poster I'm working on for a charity event.
我为一个慈善活动画的海报
I wish somebody would throw a benefit for us.
我希望有人能为我们办个慈善活动
Actually, I'm getting paid.
事实上我是收钱的
Like... as in, dollars?
收钱美金吗
As in, 500 of them.
对啊 500美金
No shit! How did you swing that?
靠你哪来的生意
Someone I know.
朋友介绍的
Someone you know... someone we both know?
朋友我也认识的那个吗
Uh, he needed an artist.
他需要一个美术人员
And even though he works with dozens of them
尽管他每天在公♥司♥
all day long in his office,
和一堆美术人员打交道
he miraculously thought of you.
但他还是奇迹般地想到了你
Maybe he thought I was...
也许他认为我
best qualified for the job.
最适合这份工作
Or maybe he's just trying to win you back.
也许他只是想再次赢回你的芳心
He can try all he wants.
他想怎么努力尝试随他的便
What makes you think I would ever go?
你凭什么觉得我会乖乖回去
Oh, I don't know. He's rich, gorgeous,
我不知道他有钱又帅气
he can make cash magically appear...
随时随地可以变出现金
Fuck the money.
叫他的钱去死
Fuck him.
叫他也去死吧
I want to be with you.
我想跟你在一起
Prove it.
证明给我看
I'm not going to prove it.
我才不要证明呢
Come on.
来吧
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."
"我是多么地爱你让我逐一细数"
Oh, you can do better than that.
这太烂了你可以做得更好
No, this one's on me.
别这杯我请
So what do you want this time?
你们这次又想要什么了
We've decided to give Gus a sibling.
我们打算给盖斯生个弟弟或妹妹
And just when you started to get your shape back?
你不是刚开始恢复身材吗
Oh, fuck you.
去你的
Well, luckily I haven't shot a load in two hours.
幸亏我两小时没射过精了
This will just take a second.
一秒钟就好
Oh, not now!
不是现在
Well, when do you want it?
那你什么时候想要
I don't.
不是我
There's been a slight change of plans.
计划有一点小变动
I'm going to be the one to carry our next child.
下个孩子由我来生
You?
你
I thought you were barren.
你不是不孕吗
I wasn't barren.
我并不是不孕
I had endometriosis.
我有子♥宫♥内膜异位症
But she's cured.
但她现在痊愈了
Praise the Lord.
赞美主
So, what do you say?
你意下如何
It's impossible.
不可能
Huh, Melanie's one of the leading causes of erectile dysfunction.
茉蕾妮是导致勃起障碍的最重大原因之一
Thank you.
谢谢
Besides, I agreed to inseminate you,
再说我答应给你捐精
not your husband.
不是给你老公
But if we get someone else,
但是如果我们找别人
our kids won't be related.
两个孩子就没有血缘关系了
Have you ever met my sister?
你难道没见过我姐姐吗
That's not much of an argument.
这个论据不成立
We had a deal.
我们有过协议的
You're the ones that changed the terms.
是你们改变了协议条款
Me and Melanie, mom and pop...
我和茉蕾妮成为妈妈和爸爸...
I'd say that went well.
我觉得进展不错
Jesus Christ!
老天呐
Do you realize people eat here?
你们知道这是饭桌吗
They're all fresh and new.
这些都是崭新的没用过
Hand picked from the pleasure boutique.
我们亲手在情趣店挑选出来的
I just want to sleep with the guy, not...
我只是想睡他又不是...
drill for oil.
要挖石油
Well, that's why we brought these,
所以我们才带了这些来
to help you achieve your goal.
帮助你达成心愿
Which would you say most resembles Detective Horvath?
哪个最接近霍瓦特探长的尺寸呢
How the hell would I know?
我怎么会知道
I've only kissed him.
我们只接吻过
Now put those things away.
把这些玩意儿拿走
Not so fast.
别这么快下定论
Now, you asked for our help,
既然你有求
and that's why we've come:
我们必应
To teach you.
来教教你
The art... of oral sex.
口♥交♥的艺术
We're going to share with you secrets known heretofore only to gay men.
我们会传授你只有基佬才精通的房♥中秘术
Techniques passed down from generation to generation
这些技巧自太古时期起
since time immemorial.
就代代相传
Once you've passed the course,
你通过这门课程后
we guarantee Horvath will forever regard you as his goddess, his queen.
霍瓦特绝对会把你奉作他心目中的女神
Now, shall we begin?
开始吧
All right.
首先
Let us relax the jaw.
活动活动下颚
Rotating it first clockwise...
先按顺时针方向转
Then counter-clockwise...
再来逆时针方向
Yeah. Good.
对很好
Now wag the tongue.
接着颤动舌头
Yeah, that's the way.
没错就这样
Next, grasp the shaft firmly with our right hand,
然后用右手稳稳地握住它
left if we're a southpaw; creating a velvet vise.
左撇子就换个手握成柔软的阴♥道♥状
Now open wide,
接着张大嘴
being sure to cover the teeth,
注意盖住牙齿
allowing for a smooth and unobstructed entry.
这样才能使之顺利且无伤害地进入
Comme Ca...
像这样
Boys, you know I love you.
孩子们你们知道我爱你们
I just need to ask one question.
但我有个问题
If it's about suppressing the gag reflex,
如果是关于如何抑制干呕反应的问题
w-we're getting to that.
我们等下就会说到
Are you out of your fucking minds?
你们是他妈疯了吗
There's no way I'm gonna... do this.
我才不要干这些
There are parties in Beverly Hills
好多主妇到比弗利山庄
where housewives pay 1,000 bucks a head...
花上千块去学这些
So to speak. To learn what we're teaching you, for free.
可以这么说吧而我们现在在免费教你
Debbie,
黛比
you want to make Horvath happy, don't you?
你想让霍瓦特开心对吧
Sure I do.
当然了
And even have a good time yourself?
同时也想让自己享受"快乐"
So what's the harm in learning how to do it the right way?
那么何乐而不为呢
One,
一
two...
二
It's chilly out here. I didn't want you to get s...
外面很冷我不希望你...
Thank you.
谢谢
I am all right.
我没事
I'm sorry.
我很遗憾
For what?
为了什么
For Paul. For you.
为保罗也为你
I just didn't expect it to be so soon.
我只是没想到一切来得那么快
If I'd known, I would've...
要是我早点知道我就会...
gone to see him more often.
多去看看他了
You were busy.
你太忙了
Yeah, right.
是啊
That's always a good excuse, not to visit someone
对于不去看望曾跟你分享人生的旧情人
you once shared your life with, your bed...
这还真是个好借口
I'm sure he understood.
我相信他一定也能理解
And forgave you the same way you forgave him.
就像你原谅他那样原谅你
Then why am I so goddamn angry at him right now?
那我现在为什么这么生他的气