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Modern Family S08E20

Part 4 Nov. 28, 2019, 11:52 a.m.

我们到床上去睡
L-Let's go to bed.
我不累
No. I'm not tired.
不你脖子和肩膀老是酸痛
No, this is why your neck and shoulders always hurt,
就是因为你总是不躺着睡
'cause you're falling asleep standing up.
来我扶你到床上
Come on, let's get you to bed.
来吧
Come on.
好吧好吧
‭Okay, all right.
我的王子
Ah, my prince.
苍天啊
Oh, my God!
苍天啊
Oh, my God.
苍天啊
Oh, my God.
都给我淡定冷静点冷静点
All right, everybody relax. Calm down! Calm down.
谁开丰田普锐斯
Who drives the Prius?
钥匙上串着超♥市♥积分卡
With a "Whole Foods" reward card?
琼人呢我得赶紧取车
Where's Joan? I need my car.
彩纸屑炸♥弹♥
Confetti bomb.
没停车位了
We're full.
没事了我把琼请回来了
Everything's fine. I've rehired Joan.
我们不需要她
We don't need her.
谁的车钥匙是银色的
Who drives the car with the silver keys?
菲尔到底要不要我出马
Phil, am I doing this or not?
琼停车场就交给你了
Joan, the lot is yours.
好了温蒂你快开走那辆小货车
All right. Wendy, let's get you in that minivan
回家照顾你患糖尿病的猫
and home to your diabetic cat.
你不能单方面重新雇用她菲尔
You cannot unilaterally rehire her, Phil.
就像你不问过我就把她炒掉一样吗
You mean like how you fired her without talking to me?
如果我们有异议
If we disagree about something,
就该通过掷硬币来做决定
we're supposed to flip over it!
也许我们该掷硬币看看还要不要继续合作
Maybe we should flip over whether we should even be partners.
-也许我们现在就该掷 -很好
- Maybe we should do it right now. - ‭Great.
如果是菲尔那面我们继续合作
If it comes up Phil, we keep going.
如果是杰那面我们终止合作
If it comes up Jay, we end it.
你们两个傻子在干什么
What are you two fools doing?
我们合作不来
This isn't working out.
合作愉快的前提是
And it's not gonna
你要平等对待这个人
until you start treating this man like your equal.
你以为自己是了不起的大老板
You think you're some big-shot boss
可以肆意欺负他
and you can just push him around.
-谢谢你琼 -闭嘴
- Thank you, Joan. - ‭Zip it!
你任由他欺负你
You let him do it.
帮你自己个忙
Do yourself a favor --
向杰学习学习比如如何强硬点
learn something from Jay, like how to be tough.
你们才不需要这个破硬币
You guys don't need a stupid coin.
你们只需要彼此
You need each other.
现在说点好听的
Now...say something nice.
我一直一直很欣赏你的霸气
I always -- I always have admired your toughness.
好了该你了
All right. Your turn.
我一直觉得你很...
I always thought you were...
快乐
...happy.
看见没
See?
这才是撒彩纸屑的正确方式
And that is how you do that.
你回来了
Oh. Hey, there you are.
是我错了
Listen, it was wrong of me
说你跟小帕之间
to say something weird was going on
有些不寻常的关系
between you and Pameron.
我脑子肯定哪里抽风了
I don't know what I was thinking.
你们俩很明显有着完美正常的
Clearly, you guys have a perfectly normal
姐姐与同性恋弟媳的关系
sister- and gay-brother -in-law relationship.
你在宝宝监视器上看到了是吧
You saw it on the baby monitor, didn't you?
在夜视画面里看更显诡异
It was even creepier in night vision.
我也一脸懵逼啊
I don't know what happened.
你们俩有着一样的香唇而且...
Y-You both have the same lips and --
一样的吻法...
and you kiss the same and --
我们对同一根篱笆支柱练的吻技
We did learn to kiss on the same hedge post.
米奇尔能借一步说话吗
Mitchell, could I speak to you in private, please?
怎么你还想再来几发拥颈亲热吗
Why? Do you want to do some more neckin'?
你还四处炫耀了吗
You were bragging on it?!
他从婴儿监视器上看到的
He saw it on the baby monitor.
你还偷看你个淫♥虫♥蛤♥蟆♥
And you were watching, you horny toad?
小帕冷静
Pam, let's calm down.
你这样是在给自己找难堪
You're kind of embarrassing yourself.
我知道
I know!
我就是一团乱
I'm such a mess!
我好累啊
I'm just so tired!
而且我看着女皇的马交♥配♥那一幕到睡着
Plus, I fell asleep to the scene of the queen's horses doin' it!
-喂喂喂别剧透啊 -没什...
- Hello? Spoiler alert. - It's just...
对不起我给你们增加负担了
I'm sorry if I've been such a burden.
-没有你才不是负担 -没有你不是
- No, you're not a burden. ‭- No, no, you're not a burden.
起来听我说
No, come on, listen --
说实话其实我挺享受
the truth is, I've kind of enjoyed
当一个宝宝的超厉害爸爸
being super-daddy to a baby,
因为我从没体验过这感觉
you know, 'cause I've never had that.
你说什么呢你当时也很会照顾莉莉啊
Oh, what are you talking about? You were great with Lily.
不是你很会照顾莉莉
No, you were great with Lily.
而一开始时我...
In the beginning, I...
我也是一窍不通所以我都让你主导
I was a mess, so I let you take the lead.
我也说不上或许我只是
I don't know, m-maybe I'm just
想证明点什么给自己看吧
trying to prove something to myself.
亲爱的我不知道你有这想法
Oh, sweetie, I had no idea.
但你真的不需要证明什么
But you don't have anything to prove
因为你已经是很棒的父亲了
because you're a great dad.
你们俩都是
You both are...
但我真是烂透了
but I'm a disaster.
别白沙发起来吧
No, white couch. Let's get you up.
我觉得光靠我一个人照顾不来啊
I don't think I can do all this by myself.
那有个好消息就是
Well, you know what, the good news is,
你不需要一个人照顾
is you don't have to do any of this all by yourself,
因为你的楼下有爱你的家人
because you have a family right down here who loves you
会愿意为你做任何事来帮助你
and will do anything we need to do to help you.
太好了这对我太意义非凡了
Good. That means the world to me.
而且... 我知道这哭声的意思
And besides... I know that cry,
这尿片我不去换
and somebody else is changing that diaper.
-我不去 -我不去
- Not it. - Not it.
所以女人怎么都输啊
So, women can't win.
女人去工作要受不公平对待
They're penalized if they work
而在家当家庭妇女也一样
and they're penalized if they stay home.
没错
Exactly!
卢克在我今早起床
You know, Luke, when I woke up this morning
来到这场游♥行♥前
and came to the rally...
我从没想过我会遇到像你这样的人
I never thought I would meet somebody like you.
轮到你了
You're up!
到我了
It's my turn.
真不敢相信她会信你的烂招
I can't believe she's falling for this.
我这一生都支持女权
I've believed in this cause my whole life.
而你只花一个下午来假装一下
You spend an afternoon faking it
她就亲到你嘴唇边上了
and she kisses you almost on the lips.
我才没有假装什么
I'm not faking anything.
她打动了我
She got through to me.
女人女孩以及支持我们的男性
Women and girls and the men who honor us...
我国女人所要遭受的不公简直就是犯罪
It's a crime what women in this country have to go through,
我全心全意支持她
and I'm with her 100%.
不作出牺牲就永远成不了大事
We will never accomplish anything without sacrifice.
没错
Damn straight!
对不起我也不是故意要这样
I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen, but...
但我跟丹妮尔真的是心灵相通
Danielle and I made a connection
无论要多久我都会在她身旁支持她
and I'm sticking with her as long as it takes.
所以在女人得到真正的平等之前
That's why, until women have true equality,
我决定当独身禁欲者
I will remain celibate.
咱们走人吧
Let's get out of here.
现在千斤顶放下来了
Now that the jack is lowered