摩登家庭

Modern Family S08E08

Part 1 Nov. 28, 2019, 11:51 a.m.

意大利千层面早餐
Ahh, breakfast lasagna!
很棒的决定亲爱的
Great call, honey.
离它远点
Stay away from it.
这是给大家今晚吃的
It's for everybody tonight.
还得等两餐呢
That's two meals away.
喂
Hello.
上校怎么了
Hey, Colonel, what's up?
妈咪伊凡能来吃晚餐吗
Mommy, could Ivan come for dinner?
不行先生
No, senor,
因为今晚全家人
'cause tonight the whole family
都会来吃晚餐
is coming over for dinner,
因为我们要投票决定
'cause we're gonna vote on
我们今年要去哪里度假
where we're going on vacation this year.
一场由道德污点的投票
A vote with a moral stain on it,
只有拥有土地的成年人才有投票权
since ballots are reserved for land-owning adults.
因为没人想去
Because nobody wants to go
小说家埃德加·爱伦·坡的出生地
to the birthplace of Edgar Allan Poe.
该死的上校害死我了
Damn Colonel screwed me
撤回我请♥愿♥书上他的名字
and took his name off my petition.
我想废除俱乐部通过的愚蠢规定
I'm trying to overturn this dumb rule the club passed
在正厅40英尺范围内禁止抽雪茄
banning cigars within 40 feet of the main lodge.
我的国家通过
When my country passed a law
一项允许人♥民♥淹死14岁的孩子的法律时
that allowed them to drown 14 year olds,
你说"这种事时有发生"
you said, "These things happen."
我刚买♥♥了一盒征服者特别雪茄
I just bought a box of El Conquistador Especiales.
它们应该被人坐在上等皮椅上抽
And they deserve to be smoked in a fine leather chair,
而不是在蜘蛛满地爬区域的喷泉旁边抽
not out by the fountain in some heavily-spidered area.
我不希望家里有这个
I don't want this in my house.
在家没法抽在俱乐部没法抽
Can't smoke at home, can't smoke at the club.
也许斯黛拉的狗窝里有地方
Maybe Stella has room in her doghouse.
她在哪里
Where is she, anyway?
从早上开始就没见她了
Haven't seen her since the morning.
我不知道斯黛拉在哪里
I don't know where Stella is.
我觉得这跟
I think it has something to do
我不得不给她戴的电击项圈有关
with the shock collar that I had to put on her
因为她整天乱往外跑
because she kept running away.
也许我可以告诉杰我以为那是条项链
Maybe I tell Jay that I thought it was a necklace.
他自己可是也想过给她打耳洞呢
He was the one who wanted to pierce her ears.
亲爱的你的早餐在桌上了
Hey sweetie, your breakfast is on the table.
这是什么
Ah, what's this?
让我猜猜
Oh! Ooh, let me guess.
古龙香水广♥告♥里的人吗
The guy in the cologne ad.
我给意大利帅哥取了名叫乔瓦尼
I've named him. It's Giovanni.
他爱上了我
He's in love with me.
他要为了我离开你
Well, he's leaving you for me.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
我们不想这样的
We never meant for it to happen.
那是什么
What's that?
-是吐司做好了 -租了楼上房♥间的
- Toast, toast is done. - Those Russian brothers
俄♥罗♥斯♥兄弟
who are renting the unit upstairs,
-他们 -走了
- are they... - Gone.
因为已经到了30天
Because it's already been 30 days, okay?
规定很清楚
And the rules are very clear.
我知道占屋者权米奇尔
I know all about squatter's rights, Mitchell.
又称不动产权美国部分州可以合法占屋子
占够久还能变业主
你为什么总是得把我当做
Why do you always have to treat me
不负责任的...
like I'm some irresponsible...
蠢货
Idiot?
俄♥罗♥斯♥兄弟还想住一晚
The Russian brothers wanted one more night.
所以我收了现金没告诉米奇尔
So I took cash, and I didn't tell Mitchell,
现在他们不肯走了
and now they won't leave.
我们碰到了非法占屋者
We have squatters.
一开始是白蚁现在是非法占屋者
First termites, now squatters.
至少入侵的白蚁不是我的错
At least the termites weren't my fault.
瞧瞧这美丽的小桌
Look at this beautiful side table
有人把它丢到了街上
somebody just left on the street.
-需要帮忙吗 -不用这个小桌轻到莫名其妙
- Oh, do you need a hand? - No, it's like ridiculously light.
给我爱人[意语]的煎饼
Flapjacks for mi amore?
-谢谢[意语] -我不知道什么更甜如糖浆
- Oh, grazie. - Ugh. I don't know what's more syrupy --
你俩还是卢克的下巴
you two or Luke's chin.
真奇怪我还没吃早餐呢
That's weird. I haven't had breakfast yet.
很抱歉
You'll have to excuse us.
你♥爸♥爸和我
Your father and I watched
昨晚看了一部很浪漫的电影
a very romantic movie last night.
好谷歌♥
Okay, Google,
播放《给佩佩的意面》的原声音乐
play the soundtrack to "Spaghetti for Pepe."
播放中
Playing soundtrack.
抱歉
Ooh. Mi scusa.
-看着点新鞋 -什么
- Whoa. Watch the new kicks. - What?
你又买♥♥了一双新运动鞋吗
You have another pair of new sneakers?
俱乐部的工作薪水多少啊
What is that job at the club paying you?
是小费妈妈
It's the tips, mom.
有位女士
There's this one lady,
帮她扶着门十块
hold the door for her -- 10 bucks.
端给她一杯柠檬冰茶又是十块
Bring her an ice tea with lemon, another 10 bucks.
我拿过的最多小费是
Best tips I ever made was when we passed the hat
我的即兴表演团队"三法则"表演募捐到的
after a performance of my improv group, "Rule of Three."
我们以小品搞笑改编歌♥曲
We were known for our sketches, song parodies,
和正面全♥裸♥闻名
and full-frontal nudity.
喂
Hello?
你们都没有橙汁了
You are all out of orange juice.
我懂了
I understand.
我得出去买♥♥橙汁了
I have to go out for orange juice.
我懂了
Yes, I understand.
我得出去买♥♥橙汁了
I have to go out for orange juice.
米奇尔
Mitchell?
我得出去买♥♥橙汁了
I have to go out for orange juice.
谢谢你们过来我跟俄♥罗♥斯♥人之间出了问题
Thank you for coming. I have a problem with Russians.
跟普里契特家族的人结婚挺好的
Being married to a Pritchett is great.
-非常好 -太棒了
- So great! - The best!
但他们有点爱批评
But they can be a -- a tad judgmental.
-简直是惩罚 -他们是禽兽
- Almost punitive. - They are monsters.
所以我们三个人组建了秘密同盟
That's why the three of us formed a -- a secret alliance
来掩护彼此之间的
to help each other cover up our --
-小错误 -比如去年十二月的时候
- our little mistakes. - Like back in December,
我一时冲动为开放日乱买♥♥了一个
when I hastily purchased an expensive prop
昂贵的道具
for an open house.
非常感谢你帮忙我藏它
Thanks so much for hiding it.
克莱尔会杀了我的
Claire would kill me.
等到周一我就能退掉了
And it's only till Monday, when I can return it.
别担心
Don't worry.
欢迎回家
Oh, welcome home!
-你回来得真早啊 -没有吧
- You're so early, right? - Not really.
我就爱你这样的笑容
There is that smile that I love.
-你带我出去共进午餐吧 -好
- Why don't you take me to lunch? - Okay.
到底是什么情况
What happened here, anyway?
你又吸乔的香味马克笔吸嗨了吗
You get into Joe's scented markers again?
所以现在有可怕的俄♥国♥人在我家赖着不肯走
So now, I have scary Russian squatters who won't leave.
等米奇尔去健身房♥ 我们就有一小段时间
We'll have a small window when Mitchell goes to the gym.
他通常会做做伸展运动在更衣室溜一圈
He usually stretches, takes a lap around the locker room,
然后喝杯奶昔
and then gets a smoothie.
你们俩负责那些俄♥国♥人
You two deal with the Russians,
我来转移米奇注意
and I'll keep Mitch distracted.
-还有事吗 -有
- Anything else? - Yes.
我们家门坏了
Our gate is broken,
斯黛拉不停跑到街上去
and Stella keeps getting out in the street.
我给它买♥♥了一个电击项圈
I bought her a shock collar.
卢克小时候我也想过买♥♥一个
I thought about getting one when Luke was younger.
结果克莱尔靠对他摇零钱罐让他乖乖过来
Claire ended up just shaking a can of pennies at him.
它被吓到躲了起来
It spooked her and she's hiding.