摩登家庭

Modern Family S08E13

Part 1 Nov. 28, 2019, 11:51 a.m.

好了
Okay.
螺丝刀
Screwdriver?
备用螺丝刀
Backup screwdriver.
我家族是代代相传的能工巧匠
I come from a long line of handy men.
以前我爸爸什么都自己修好
My dad used to fix everything --
修剪草机修车子还阉[修]猫
lawnmowers, cars, our cat.
所以当维修工人试图坑我后
So it made sense that I tackled the clothes dryer
我自然就决定自己修烘衣机
after the repair guy tried to rip me off.
我才不要花350刀
I'm not paying $350
来修一个只值28刀的湿度传感器
for a moisture sensor that costs $28.
我会自己修好它
I'll fix it myself.
维修工作很复杂的
It's a complicated job.
你知道我以前在俄♥罗♥斯♥是干什么的吗
You know what I did back in Russia?
我知道啊
Yeah, yeah, I know.
你是个医生要不就科学家
You were a doctor or a scientist.
我是修烘衣机的
I fixed dryers.
我意思是我♥干♥这一行很久了
I've been doing this a long time is my point.
本大爷可不是任人宰割的软柿子
Well, your Phil Dunphy is no push-over.
恐怕要坚定地拒绝你了
I'm afraid it's a hard nyet.
其实这些衣服也够干净了
I guess these are clean enough.
我很快就能把这机器修好亲爱的
I'll have this thing running in no time, honey.
我有维修教学影片
I have an instructional video,
而且我把拆下来的每个零件都做了标记
and I'm labeling each part as I take it out.
"右后角
"Right-back corner.
弯弯的小东西
Tiny elbow-y thingy.
我的右手边即是烘衣机的左边"
My right. Dryer left."
你们不能到别的地方修吗
Can't you do this somewhere else?
是啊烘衣机才是该自己搬出去住的那个人
Right, the dryer's the one that needs to get its own place.
宝贝反正你也该起床了我们要上烹饪课
Honey, you have to be up anyhow. We've got our cooking class.
我想早点到抢占前排的炉子
I want to get there early and grab a stove up front.
天啊妈妈你跟那个厨师
Oh, my God, Mom. You and that chef.
你能不能轻点骚
Keep it in your apron.
妈妈很迷恋电视上那个大厨查尔斯·杜蒙特
Mom's obsessed with this TV chef Charles Dumont.
她每天都收看他的节目
She watches his show every day.
不过她好像也没有专心听
Not sure she listens, though.
加少许糖
A pinch of sugar,
你的味蕾就会像法国人一样弃械投降
and your taste buds will surrender like the French.
抱歉这个哏有点太干...奶酪了
I'm sorry, that joke was a little fromage-y.
-他说盐吗 -是糖啦糖
- Did he say salt? - Sugar. Sugar. Sugar.
我还真想让他尝尝我有多甜呢
Mmm! I'd love to give him some sugar.
但我很肯定他刚刚说的是盐宝贝
But I'm pretty sure he said salt here, baby.
-试试味道 -不要
- Take taste. - Oh, no. Aah!
-嗯 -好吃吗
- Yeah. - Yeah?
确实别有"风味"
That's got something in it.
烹饪搭配的酒快喝完了
Oh, almost out of cookin' juice.
好了下一步非常重要
All right, the next step is very important.
你真的不用暂停吗
You sure you don't want to pause it?
不用
Oh, no, I'm good.
不能再这样下去了
We got to fix this.
我们不能告诉她她做的菜有多难吃
We can't tell her how bad her food is,
因为那会让她伤心欲绝
because that would destroy her.
所以当我得知杜蒙特大厨要来城里
So when I found out Chef Dumont was coming to town,
我就给我俩报名上课让他来当坏人
I signed us up for his class so he could do it.
场面挺激烈的是吧
I know. Pretty intense, huh?
现在我就把传感器
Now I just grab the sensor
放到...
and put it --
里面棉絮挺多啊
Oh, a little linty.
早知道应该先清空...
I probably should have emptied...
零件都没事吧
Aah! Are the parts okay?
没事
Yeah, they're fine.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
我不知道...
I don't know --
好了乔把球投过来吧
All right, Joe. Fire it in here, buddy.
好棒
Ooh! Yes!
太好了我不用跟这个儿子也说
Good! Now I don't have to tell another son
有些男孩的天赋跟其他男孩不同
that some boys have different gifts.
干得好小强棒
Good job there, slugger.
这是怎么回事歌♥洛莉亚
What the hell's going on here, Gloria?
我觉得自己好像已经死了
I feel like I died.
我是以游魂视角在看我再婚的家人
I'm watching my family as a ghost.
别傻了如果你真死了
Don't be silly. If that happened,
我早就已经把这些家具全换掉了
I would have changed all this furniture.
我请了盖里教练
I hired Coach Gary.
他会教乔怎么投球
He's gonna teach Joe how to throw.
乔是他们队里最弱的一个
Joe is the worst on his team.
我听见了哦
I hear you!
你儿子交给我保准没问题杰
Your son's in good hands, Jay.
去年我带领队伍拿下了冠军
I led my team to the championship last year.
本来幼儿组不该计分的
We weren't supposed to keep score,
但我在脑子里偷记下来了
but I did in my head.
这太离谱了
This is crazy.
这种事情孩子应该跟自己爸爸学
Kid's supposed to learn the stuff from his dad,
例如打棒球开车
baseball, how to drive a car,
还有怎么跟新泽西州人打架
how to fight a guy from Jersey.
当你觉得你已经拿走了他的刀...
If you think you took his knife...
他身上还有一把
He's got another one.
乔的投球方式都是跟杰学的
Joe learned to throw by copying Jay,
可是杰投得乱七八糟因为他肩膀不好
but Jay throws all crazy because of his bad shoulder.
像这样投孩子
Like this, buddy.
我勒个...
Son of a...!
我勒个...
Son of a...!
乔在尿尿时会用口哨吹
It's the same reason Joe whistles
《感伤之旅》也是这个原因
"Sentimental Journey" when he pees.
1944年发行的歌♥曲
你看起来人挺好的
You seem like a nice guy and all,
但我来教他就行了
but I got this.
没问题盖瑞教练懂的
Hey, no sweat. Coach Gary gets it.
别忘了带走你的球
Hey, uh, don't forget your ball.
没关系杰有些男孩的天赋跟其他男孩不同
It's okay, Jay. Some boys have different gifts.
-我去开门 -好的谢谢
- Let me get the door. - Ok, thank you.
你好有什么事吗
Hi. Can I help you?
我来找莉莉
I'm here for Lily.
我知道这一天迟早会来
I always knew this day would come.
她应该不是来认亲的
Probably not what she's here for.
你怎么会认识我们女儿
How do you know our daughter?
不认识她雇我来打扫卫生
I don't. She hired me for a cleaning job.
啥
Oh. What?
真准时啊
Wow. Right on time.
等一下莉莉你请了清洁工吗
Wait, Lily, did you hire a cleaning lady?
是啊用你手♥机♥上的应用请的
Yeah, with an app on your phone.
爸爸说我的房♥间乱得跟猪窝一样
Daddy said my room was a pig sty.
我们回头再讨论你对猪的这个
Okay, we'll double back to that unnecessary
没有必要且有违事实的辱骂
and inaccurate slam on pigs.
而且我想小爸的意思是叫你自己打扫房♥间
And I think daddy meant for you to clean your room.
我们不能让你帮她打扫房♥间
We can't have you cleaning our daughter's room.
这样会传递错误的信息
It just -- It sends the wrong message.
我们也可以给你们差评的知道吗
We get to review you guys, too, you know.
你去打扫房♥间
Go clean your room.
这不公平你们什么都用手♥机♥应用解决
It's not fair. You guys use apps for everything.
我们才没有
No, we don't.
这个嘛...
Well...
好吧我们出去吃饭时会用"优步"叫车
Okay, there's Uber for when we eat out...
在家吃饭会用"美团"叫外卖♥♥
and Postmates when we eat at.
各种家务就交给"寻人理事"找帮手
And TaskGrabBag for stuff around the house.
"洗衣到府" "车位地图"
And Washio and ParkMe
还有那个请专人来
and the one where the guy comes over
帮家里壁炉生火的应用
and builds a fire in your fireplace.
"专人取火"啊我喜欢那个
Oh, LogBuddy. I love LogBuddy.
我们必须以身作则
We need to start leading by example.
从现在开始我们都要更自力更生
From now on, we're all gonna be a little more self-reliant.
首先我自己来生火