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Modern Family S08E03

Part 3 Nov. 28, 2019, 11:50 a.m.

What are you talking about?
我在说我这两管大炮
I'm talking about... my guns.
好了来看看你的发言稿
All right, let's look at the speech.
我觉得相当好
I think it's pretty good.
我开场先开布朗校长那几个孩子
I'm opening with a joke about how Principal Brown's kids
看着都像邮递员的玩笑
look like the mailman.
全选删除
And select all, delete.
我必须做自己
Hey! I got to be me.
不你必须不像自己
No, you got to be less you.
如果你想赢就要比曼尼更曼尼
If you want this, you got to out-Manny Manny.
艾丽克斯毕业时我给你买♥♥的西服呢
Oh! Where's that suit I got you for Alex's graduation?
都过一年了
That was a year ago.
我现在穿不上了
I can't fit into that anymore,
因为我的两管大...
because of my gu--
知道了别说了
I know, I got it.
这本来是满的
This was full.
对不起
Sorry.
你会失望的
You're just gonna be disappointed.
大家早上好啊
Good morning, everyone.
如果你饿了我在烤面包机后藏了几块饼干
If you're hungry, I hid some cookies behind the toaster.
被我找到了
I found them.
我想了想你昨天说的话
Oh, I was thinking about what you said yesterday,
你说得对
and you were right.
我们应该能自己做决定
We should be able to make our own decisions, you know?
我只能说再次谢谢你
Ay, all I can say is, thank you again.
戴恩·艾德娜跟你的养父们问好
Dane Edna, say hi to your foster daddies.
罗纳多这是什么情况
Ronaldo, what's going on?
我们要在罗纳多带胡娇
Oh, we're taking care of Dane Edna
去亚洲做手术期间照顾戴恩·艾德娜
while Ronaldo takes Pepper to Asia for a medical procedure.
他没事
Is everything okay?
别担心
Oh, don't worry.
别说出去他要去老挝做个下巴沟
Between us, he's getting a monkey chin in Laos.
所以这个月大家都有乐子
Oh, so it's a fun month for everyone, huh?
我会想念这个美丽天后的
Mm, I'm going to miss this beautiful diva.
她的胃有点挑剔
Her tummy can get a little fussy,
所以如果你们不确定该给她做什么吃
so if you're ever wondering what to cook for her,
问问自己"帕蒂·卢波恩会吃什么"
just ask yourself, "What would Patti LuPone eat?"
知名百老汇老牌女明星
抱歉我没问你的意见
Oh, I'm sorry. I-I didn't ask you about this,
但这真的对我很重要
but it's really important to me.
你也说过会支持我的任何决定
And you said you'd support any decision I made.
我不知道你在做什么
I'm not sure what you're doing,
因为你如此难以捉摸
because you're being so subtle,
但如果你觉得这个家里需要
but if you think a giant, slobbery dog
一条流着口水的大狗那么我绝对配合
is what this household needs, then color me gung ho.
这是她的药
Here are her medicines.
-箔纸包装的是从菊花塞 -好
- The ones wrapped in foil don't go in the mouth. - Okay.
对了我很抱歉
Ah, yeah. I'm so sorry.
我们训练她要把碳水化合物带离我们身边
We've trained her to take carbs away from us.
我无法理解
I don't get it.
你看着超棒我爱极了
You look amazing. I love it!
你为什么给我买♥♥这身衣服
Why did you buy this for me?
因为我觉得你在台上演讲时
'Cause I thought you would look great up there
穿这套会很帅
when you give your big speech.
我在竞选主席老妈我要穿西服打领带
I'm running for president, Mom. I'll wear a suit and tie.
那你就可以直接穿去自己的葬礼了
Well, then you'll be dressed for your funeral.
孩子你得了解你的观众
Kid, you got to know your audience.
你不认为我能和同龄人有共鸣啊
You don't think I can relate to my peers?
那这下真是完了个蛋
Well, this is a fine kettle of fish.
我会尽可能温柔地说
I'm gonna say this as gently as I know how...
你会输掉
You're going to lose!
我没打算吼出来但至少你知道了
Well, I wasn't gonna yell it, but at least it's out there.
等等你觉得我会输
Wait. You think I'm going to lose?
但你从未觉得我会输过
But you never think I'm going to lose!
听着你是个好孩子
Look, you're a great kid.
我们只是想说多点便装星期五风
All we're saying is be a little more Casual Friday,
少点圣灰星期三[基♥督♥教大斋首日]风
a little less Ash Wednesday.
是啊走上台说些
Yeah. Go up there and be like,
"你们好啊牛逼兄弟们"
"Yo! What's up, ballers?!"
"星期一放假去吃点披萨什么的"
"Mondays off. Like, pizza and whatever."
感觉有点奇怪
This is feeling a little weird.
相信我们
Trust us.
你们觉得有用我就听话
If you really think it'll help.
趁着没忘把披萨饼的事记下来
Hey, write that pizza-pie thing down while it's fresh.
希望你不介意
I hope you don't mind.
我同意他们在房♥子里玩取物游戏
I decided it was fine if they played fetch in the house.
没问题我支持这个决定
Not at all. I support that decision.
我真期待接下来会发生什么
Well, I look forward to what's about to happen.
-好吧 -取到了
- Okay. - There we are.
-好了 -很好
- All right. - Nice.
我出发了教练比赛见
Okay, Coach. I'll meet you at the game.
好谁是冠军
Yes! Who's a winner?
-我是冠军 -谁是冠军
- I'm a winner! - Who's a winner?!
我是冠军
I'm a winner!!
老天
Oh, my...
好吧我先说
Okay. I'm gonna go first.
我小心眼故意报复
I was petty and vindictive,
我会找别人照顾这条狗
and I will find someone else to look after the dog.
你有要说的吗
Do you have anything to say?
谢谢你我知道让你说这话有多不容易
Thank you. I know that couldn't have been easy.
小卡我对天发誓
Cam, I swear to God --
好好你说的对
Okay, okay. You're right.
我应该先跟你商量的
I should have consulted you first.
今晚的比赛结束后
I'll tell Dwight that he has to move out
我会告诉德怀特他必须搬出去
after the game tonight.
谢谢你
Thank you.
虽然你们不在乎但还是说一声
Not that anybody cares, but for lunch,
我午饭只吃到一粒润喉糖
I had a lozenge.
这事多久能办完
So, uh, how long is this going to take?
我只是需要再订一些宣传用的飞盘
I just need to reorder some promotional Frisbees,
顺便和梅尔夫打声招呼
and say a quick hi to Merv,
这位天才在过去十多年里
the genius who supplied me with coasters
一直帮我做杯垫和钥匙链
and key chains for over a decade.
他甚至还把我的脸印在枕头上呢
He even put my face on a pillow.
这个故事让我想找个枕头来闷死自己
That story makes me want to put a pillow over my face.
咱速战速决行吗我四点还得去做美黑
Can we just get this over with? I have a spray tan at 4:00.
美黑谁需要做美黑
Spray tan! Who needs a spray tan?
冬天没得晒太阳的人需要
Someone in winter.
所以美黑优♥惠♥劵就得跟冰铲配
That's why you put a coupon on a ice scraper.
厉害吧又挣够钱送我一个孙子去好大学
Boom! Just sent another grandkid to Brandeis.
他一出手就是正中红心
He shoots, he scores!
你能相信这位青年才俊的孙子都上大学了吗
Can you believe this young man has a grandkid in college?
年轻与否都是由生活方式决定的
Mm! It's all about lifestyle.
真的我每天健走八公里
Really, I walk five miles a day,
还做过一大堆整形手术
and I've had a tremendous amount of plastic surgery.
关于你那幢急于卖♥♥出去的房♥产
Oh! I had a brainstorm on that property of yours
我脑力激荡了一番
that you're trying to unload.
就是死过人那幢
You know, where the people -- Ckkk!
是啊
Yeah.
你把它当成卖♥♥点
You lean into it. Hmm?
你叫它"大屠♥杀♥庄园"
You-You call it "Massacre Manor,"
"唐顿墓园"
"Downton Stabby,"
"杀人魔曼森[大宅]"
"Charles Mansion."
类似的双关梗我能想出无数个
I mean, like, I-I got a million of them.
其实大概还能想出仨
Actually, I probably -- I have three more.
瞧见没大♥师♥
See? A master.
梅尔夫这是我女儿海莉
Aww. Merv, meet my daughter Haley.
很高兴见到你
Nice to meet you.
你♥爸♥告诉我
Your daddy tells me
你被麦德逊大道[广♥告♥业]的热情感染了
that you have come down with the Madison Avenue flu.
他说的话我一个字都听不懂
I don't understand anything that's happening here.