摩登家庭

Modern Family S08E11

Part 1 Nov. 28, 2019, 11:51 a.m.

我让人帮您把这放到礼物桌吧
Can I have that dropped at the gift table for you?
我自己拿着就好这份礼物很特别
Ah, I think I'll hang onto this. This is a special gift.
是个恒温酒柜有36个瓶位不锈钢制
It's a wine fridge -- 36 bottles, stainless steel,
有双温区可分别存放白酒和红酒
dual temp zones for your whites, your reds.
她不在乎刚才那个神父也一样
She doesn't care. Okay. And neither did the priest.
名为"帅炸了"的神父
Father O'GodHe'sHot.
可不是吗他的唇多性感啊
I know. Those lips, right?
-这样说神父合适吗 -合适吗
- Is that appropriate? - Appropriate?
你也从来没骄傲地抱着我们
You never carried us around as proudly
像你现在抱着那玩意儿一样
as you're carrying around that thing.
30年前我没有免费帮你贝姬姑妈做衣柜
30 years ago, I didn't do your Aunt Becky's closets for free.
全家的人都说我是小气鬼
The whole family got together and decided I was cheap --
叫我"铁公鸡"
called me "High Pockets."
我们就来看看她儿子布莱恩
Well, we'll see what her boy Brian says
收到这个被时尚杂♥志♥评为
when he opens what Esquire Magazine called
"再也不需换新的恒温酒柜"时会怎么说
"The last under-counter wine fridge you'll ever need."
铁公鸡
High Pockets.
我们直接到吧台去吧
Can we just find the bar?
我如果说不去是不是会超好笑
How funny would it be if I said no?
我勒个...妈
Mother of...us.
妈她怎么会在这儿
Mom! What is she doing here?
她跟这些人都没亲戚关系啊
She's not even related to these people!
天啊
Oh, my God.
只有你我和爸妈
You, me, Mom, Dad, alone.
没有歌♥洛莉亚在这帮忙吸收仇恨的能量
Without Gloria to absorb the hate.
我怎么慌了我好慌啊
Okay, why am I scared? I'm feeling scared.
因为你正回想起过去的每一次家族聚会
Because you are flashing back to every family event
最后都是爸爸用气音吼妈妈说
that ended with Dad whisper-screaming at Mom,
"你冷静点" 而她都会狂甩手拿包
"Would you calm down?" while she would swing her pocketbook
直到包包像墨西哥陶罐一样爆开掉出一堆药丸
around until it burst open like a pill-packed pinata.
天啊我不想再当闹笑话的那家人
Oh, God. I-I don't want to be the make-a-scene family. Again.
爸爸在他们为酒柜颁发个英雄奖给他之前
Well, Dad's not leaving until they award him CNN Hero
是不会走的
for bringing the wine fridge,
所以我们要不各领走一个家长
so maybe we just each take a parent
尽量不让他们碰到面
and try and keep them apart as much as possible?
这是我们最可能平安度过今日的方法了
Probably our best shot at an uneventful day.
但我们能不能别争让对方去陪着...
But can we please not fight over who has to care of --
妈
Mom!
米奇尔
Mitchell!
你好
Hi.
见到你真开心宝贝儿
Oh, it's so good to see you, honey.
我找来一份校园地图你看看
Hey. I got us a campus map, and look at this --
里面有一章特别介绍我以前大学兄弟会呢
My old college frat has a chapter here!
根据继承权力我有权
By legacy rights, I'm entitled
使用主层的洗手间和登记借走飞盘
to use the main-floor bathroom and sign out a frisbee.
酷
Cool.
你用这带子健身得挺猛啊
Wow, you're really giving those bands a workout.
想释放一些紧张情绪
Oh, just burning off some nervous energy.
他们不会在参观大学途中问问题吧
They don't ask questions on a college tour, right?
卢克我歌♥洛莉亚和曼尼要去参观大学
Luke and I, Gloria, and Manny are going on a college tour!
是曼尼的保底大学对卢克来说则是机会渺茫
Safety school for Manny, long shot for Luke,
这很伤他自尊心
which hasn't been great for his self-esteem.
幸好作为曾经的拉拉队队员
Luckily, as a former cheerleader,
我还记得怎样鼓舞士气
I haven't lost my gift for lifting spirits.
虽然我的身体已经不再柔软摆不出N字了
Though I can no longer make an N with my body.
这样健身挺有效的
This is a great workout.
不
Ow! No!
抱歉抱歉你们快来看
Sorry, sorry! Guys, come look!
我做了顽皮的坏事
I did something very bad.
曼尼在睡午觉
Manny is taking a nap,
我就把小猪放到床上去了
so I put a pig-a-let in the bed!
天啊
Oh, my God.
你从哪里弄来的
Where'd you get that?
你还记得我们遇到的那些农民吗
You remember those farmers that we met?
你想象不出他们为了一点小钱愿意做出什么事
You'll be surprised what they'll do for a couple of big tips.
你听到什么了
What did you hear?
要死了什么鬼啊
Aah! Whoa! What is that?!
是只小猪
It's a pig-a-let!
你真该看看自己的表情
Man, you should see your face!
它还舔了我的脸你干啥啊
Ohh, it licked my face! Why would you do this?
曼尼别那么神经紧绷
Aye, Manny, don't be so uptight!
我在帮你备战大学生活
I'm preparing you for college
到时你就可以融入大家交上朋友了
so that you fit in and make some friends.
两部电影皆描述了有关大学兄弟会的故事
我从电影《动物屋》里学来的招数
I took the idea from watching "The Animal House,"
还有《单身男子俱乐部》
"The Old School" Movie...
上大学是为了接受高等教育不是恶作剧整人
College is about higher education, not pranks.
书呆
Nerd!
-她在那儿呢 -美女
- There she is! - Hey, lady.
我不能给你们免单
Yeah, I can't give you free stuff.
-我们走吧 -好保重
- Let's go. - Okay, take care.
等等等等等等
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
天啊是她
Oh, my gosh. It's her.
谁啊
Who?
坐在那边外套美鞋子赞的金发女
The blonde over there in the cute jacket and fab shoes.
如果真是我想的那个人我们超讨厌她
If that's who I think it is, we hate her so hard.
昨晚我被打劫了没错
Last night, I was robbed. That's right.
我去看莉莉的舞蹈演出
There I was at Lily's dance recital,
屏住呼吸期待
breathlessly anticipating
我宝贝女儿的首次芭蕾独舞
my baby's first-ever ballet solo.
马上到了
Okay, here it comes.
为了这一刻花掉的两千块舞蹈课钱都值了
This moment is worth every cent of the $2,000 in lessons.
啥
What?
天啊我看不到了
Oh, my gosh. I can't see.
不是说了不许拍摄吗
Didn't they say no filming?
不好意思女士
Excuse me. Miss?
你看到她多过分吗
Did you just see that?
那个可怕的女人劫走了我
That horrid woman robbed me
当骄傲爸爸的珍贵时刻
of my proud daddy moment
害我得向女儿说谎
and forced me to lie to my daughter.
"你跳得太棒了莉莉" 可是是真的吗
"You danced beautifully, Lily!" But did she?
我咋知道啊
I have no idea!
你昨晚怎么不把她击倒啊
Why didn't you smack her down last night?
我是指用语言击倒
With words, obviously.
等等男同可以扁女人吗
Wait, can gays smack women?
不行
No.
不行你知道吗
No! You know what,
我昨晚本来要大骂她的
I would have cussed her out last night,
可那自私的老巫婆在她女儿一跳完
except the selfish hag left the moment
就溜走了
her daughter's dance was over.
希望这餐厅不禁止暴♥乱♥
I hope there's no rule in here about causing a commotion.
我们是觉得不需要
I mean, we didn't really feel the need
特地竖个牌子写明不可以毕竟是文明社会了
to put it up on a sign because, you know, civilization.
我遵从的是老天爷的法律
Well, I answer to a higher law.
给我回来
Hey! Get back here!
你都不确定是不是她
You don't even know it's her.
你凭黑暗里看到的一个后脑勺
You're basing this off of the back of the head
就认定这是她
of someone you saw in the dark.
或许你能从"背后"认出前男友但...
That may be how you recognize your old boyfriends, but...
不好意思
Excuse me.
虽然我很欣赏你的招数并打算不给你功劳
As much as I admire that and do intend on using it
就让米奇尔来试这招但做人要有底线
on Mitchell without giving you any credit, there is a line.
妈我都不知道你要来
So, Mom, I didn't know that you would be, uh, be here.
我本来也没打算来
Oh, well, I wasn't planning on it --
离婚后都没见过这些人了
I haven't seen these people since the divorce --
但我新老公要去工作
Yeah. But then my new hubby had to work,
我于是心想 "写个新故事吧迪迪"
and I thought -- "Write a new story, Dede."
就是啊
Yeah!
你一个人来的吗还是...
So, are you here alone, or...?
你好美啊这条裙子真漂亮
You look great! This dress is beautiful!
谢谢