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Modern Family S08E12

Part 4 Nov. 28, 2019, 11:51 a.m.

Didn't your father talk to you about this already?
对啊他说可以送给女朋友
Yeah, and he said it's okay to give it to a girlfriend.
我们走了贝莉才不是他女朋友
We're going. And Bailey is certainly not his girlfriend.
那是她的福气
She would be lucky!
那是贝莉吗
Is that Bailey?
我记得乔对她有意思
'Bause I think Joe has a little thing for her.
他的确有很有"意思"的东西给她
Yeah, he did have a little thing for her.
在这儿他又来了
It's here. He did it again.
我就知道不能放心交给你去教育他
I knew I shouldn't have trusted you talking to him,
就算他杀了人你也会帮他脱罪
because you will let him get away with murder
因为他就是迷你版的你你还特高兴
because he's a mini you and you like it.
更糟的是什么你知道吗
And you know what's worse?
你对曼尼那么小心眼
That you're so mean to Manny
就是因为他跟你不一样
because he's different than you.
首先乔不是迷你版的我
First off, Joe is not a mini me.
垃圾辣鸡蜡鸡
Crap. Crapola. Crapinski.
好吧可能有一点
Well, maybe a little,
也许我却是有点喜欢这事
and maybe I kind of like it.
可你为什么要把乔身上我的影子去掉呢
But why would you want to knock the Jay out of Joe?
你从拥有一个宝贝变成两个宝贝呢
Instead of one trophy, you get two.
到了谢天谢地
Okay, thank God.
她在这呢
Oh, gosh, there she is.
你们怎么来了
What are you guys doing here?
需要水手来完成你们
Need a sailor to cross off number four
情人节心愿表的第四条吗
on that Valentine's day list of yours?
跟萨尔待了一会儿嘴都没把门了
Was that mean i've been around Sal, I've lost my filter.
你知道吗人非圣贤孰能无过
You know what? We all make mistakes.
等我们告诉你一个
Which is a-a funny thing to remember
很可笑的误会后你回想起来都会觉得好笑
when we tell you about a very funny misunderstanding.
卡梅隆米奇尔真是惊喜
Cameron, Mitchell, what a pleasant surprise.
萨尔你还好吗你看起来怪怪的
Sal, you okay? You seem not yourself.
是啊咋不眨眼呢
Yeah, I feel like you used to blink.
我听了你们的建议给维尔纳打了电♥话♥
I took your advice. Called Werner.
跟他说我不想就这么委身下嫁
Told him I wasn't going to settle.
然后...
How did that --
然后呢
How -- how did that go?
他本来觉得我们或许能有未来
He was thinking that we might be something special,
然后我给他下了最后通牒
and then I gave him the ultimatum,
结果他说 "也许我们有缘无分"
and he said, "Maybe we're not actually meant to be."
什么情况萨尔你在干什么
I don't know what's happening. S-sal, w-what are you doing?
收拾收拾
Straightening up.
这是所有东西的...
You know, a place for everything...
-别 -...好去处
- No. - ...everything in its place.
这个如何
Hey, what about this?
这其实是从二战知名战舰上淘来的宝贝
This was actually salvaged from the Bismarck.
好...
That's...
你还助纣为虐
Why are you helping?
爽男人都是坏东西
Feels good. Men suck.
不不不是所有男人
No, no, n-not all men, okay?
我们刚跟雷纳谈了
We -- we just talked to Rainer,
他不是在约会
and, um, that wasn't a date.
什么
What?!
为什么砸了
Okay, why did you break that?
因为现在我气的是你们
'Cause now I'm mad at you!
你们让我跟他分手
You made me break up with him!
我的天我得给雷纳打个电♥话♥
Oh, my God. Now I have to call Rainer,
还有迪兰
and Dylan.
-萨尔亲爱的 -萨尔别...
- Oh, Sal, sweetie... - Sal, you gotta --
酒洒了
You're spilling there.
-提起来瓶口提起来 -笨手笨脚
- Lift it, lift it. - Oh, clumsy, clumsy.
让一切化作灰烬随风而去吧
I'll just make it all go away.
-别我们还在船上呢 -住手萨尔
- No! We are still on board. - No, Sal.
抱歉我们叫你打给维尔纳
We are sorry we made you call Werner.
我们不知道事情会变成这样
We didn't know that that was gonna happen.
你得理解一下你...
So you have to understand that you...
米奇尔你不来帮忙吗
Mitchell you want to step in here?
我吹到都头晕了
I'm getting dizzy.
我...
I am --
-别拦我 -不许再这样了
- Stop it! - Okay, no more.
不许再点火柴了不许了
No more matches. No more matches.
好了可是我也不知道该怎么做
Okay, what -- I don't know what to do.
好吧或许我们可以...
Okay, well, maybe we should just...
维纳尔宝贝的托尼奖奖杯
Werner's precious Tony award.
他把它留在船上做为终极催情神器
He keeps in at sea as the ultimate aphrodisiac.
这不对女人催情吧
For women?
托尼奖是美国剧场界最高荣誉
参选项目包含话剧与音乐剧受到同性恋关注
再会[德语] 托尼奖最佳编曲奖杯
Auf Wiedersehen, award for best orchestration.
-要命了 -不行萨尔萨尔
- Oh, my God. - No. Sal, Sal.
-海利快来帮忙 -不行
- Haley, help. - No.
我可不要告诉你同志儿子
I will not tell your gay son
你把一座托尼奖奖杯丢进海里乐
that you threw a Tony into the ocean.
-你快给我 -不要
- Give it to me! - No!
天啊她掉下去了吗
Oh, my god. Did she fall in?
没有
No.
"她"安全在我手里呢
I've got her right here.
萨尔我们真的很抱歉
Sal, we are so sorry.
如果不是我们出的馊主意
If it wasn't for our stupid advice,
你就不会没事找事事情也就不会变这样
you would've left things alone and things might've been okay.
-你闭嘴 -好好的
- Shut up! - Okay, okay.
冷冷的海水打醒我让我看清了现实
That cold water woke me up to the hard truth --
老娘聪明绝顶闭月羞花
I'm smart, I'm beautiful,
床技过人却放弃寻找更好的人就嫁人了
I'm legendary in bed, yet I do settle.
维纳尔的确是配不上我啊
I mean, Werner is not good enough for me.
我能懂为啥你们俩白♥痴♥为啥不再找了
I mean, I get why you two idiots settled.
毕竟对方就是你们能找到最好的人了
This is the best you're gonna do, right here.
你们俩简直王八配绿豆
You're perfectly matched.
这么看的话某种程度上感觉好甜啊
Well, it's kind of sweet when you look at it that way.
是啊与你相遇好幸运
Yeah. We are very lucky.
情人节快乐
Happy Valentine's day.
是啊情人节快乐
Yeah, happy Valentine's day.
闭嘴懂得察言观色好吗基佬们
Shut up. Read a room, poofs.
玛格丽特说是你负责保管电♥话♥记录
Hey. Margaret said you keep the phone records.
怎么了你为什么需要拿记录
Why? What do you need them for?
我想找出是谁送我的花
I'm still trying to find out who sent me those flowers.
-你收在这里面吗 -别打开
- You keep them in here? - No, don't.
别啊
Don't.
本为什么我的这张照片在你的抽屉里
Ben, why do you have this photo of me in your desk drawer?
我猜可能是有人在整我吧
I think someone's pranking me, probably.
-我要走了 -好的
- I'm gonna go. - Okay.
别走其实花是我送的好了吧
Wait, look. I sent the flowers, okay?
当你去年夏天来这里打工时
When you temped here last summer,
我也被你的魅力所打动
I became tempted by your charms.
谢谢欣赏但你不是都要40岁了吗
Well, thank you, but aren't you like 40?
什么我才26岁啊
What? I'm 26.
我我小时候吃糖上瘾
I -- I had a sweetart addiction when I was a kid
永久伤害到胶原蛋白所以显老
and I permanently damaged my collagen.
我谈过一个又一个
Wow. I've been in a series of bizarre,
离奇又羞耻的恋爱
shame-filled relationships.
你是我妈的员工而我还在家里蹲
You work for my mother. You still live at home.
-再看看你吃的各种药快吻我 -什么鬼
- Look at all those medications. Kiss me. - What?
你刚才的举动很屌♥
Whoa. Okay, that was very cool,
可是我得告诉你我把人生奉献给衣柜
but you should know that I have dedicated my life to closets,
我疯狂迷恋你外公
I am obsessed with your grandfather,
而且睡觉都抱着穿着女睡衣的等身枕头睡
and I sleep with a body pillow that I put a nightgown on.
别再说了你越说越吸引我
Stop, you're making it better.
给今晚客人很多啊先生
Here you go. Busy night, sir.
想必您已经订了位子
I assume you have a reservation?
是的我妻子订的
Yes. My wife made it.
虽然送我礼物这件事她办砸了
She kind of dropped the ball on my gift,
但她成功在大名鼎鼎的恩里克餐厅订到位
but she came through with a table at the legendary Enrico's.
先生很抱歉恩里克是前面另一家餐厅