摩登家庭
Modern Family S08E01
Part 5
Nov. 28, 2019, 11:50 a.m.
你们三个生在那个家真是走运 对吗
You three lucked out a little bit in that department, right?
确实是
We sure did.
我此生最好的工作
Best job I ever had.
养大两个非同凡响的女儿
Raising two dynamite ladies
还有夫复何求的最好的哥们
and the...best buddy a guy could ever ask for.
这是什么
Oh, what is with this?
-今年没有疯狂面包吗 -对啊
- No crazy bread this year? - Yeah!
我们在纽约又待了五天
We stayed in New York for five more days.
我看到大卫·布莱恩在果冻里
And I saw David Blaine in jello,
我一直超想告诉你 但她们不让
and I've been dying to tell you, but they wouldn't let me!
你真是个废物
You're a disgrace.
天啊 你们妈妈和我
Oh, my God! Your mother and I --
非常愤怒 愤怒
Are furious! Furious!
你们一直待在纽约
You were in New York this whole time,
却什么都没告诉...
and you didn't say anything --
听着 我不知道这一团糟是怎么回事
Now, I don't know what can of worms this is,
但我知道这是我的节日
but I know this is my day,
我要你们都冷静下来
and I want you to calm down.
你口袋里有个手♥机♥吗
Is that a phone in your pocket?
这是我的手♥机♥
That's my phone.
我从昨天就在找这个手♥机♥了
I've been looking for this since yesterday.
我会偷东西了
I steal now.
菲尔 你给我发短♥信♥了吗
Phil, did you text me?
是的 克莱尔让我给你发一张
Oh, yeah, um, claire asked me to send you a picture
我们在纽约住的酒店里衣柜的照片
of the closet in our New York hotel.
老天 这是你赤身裸体吗
Oh, my God! Is this you naked?!
什么
What?
为什么
Why?
亲爱的 你能给我爸发张衣柜的照片吗
Honey, will you send my dad a picture of that closet
免得我忘了
before I forget?
天啊 不要
Oh! No.
你们在吵什...
Hey. What's all the --
好吧 不要 谢谢
O...kay. No, thanks.
我已经对一个亲戚有不清不白的想法了
I already have confusing feelings for one relative.
好吧 这事就到此为止
All...right. Can this just be done now?
你是怎么...
How did you even --
等等 照片背景在下雨
Wait a minute. It is raining in the background.
但我们一起在纽约时根本没下雨
But it didn't rain while we were all there.
纽约只有昨天才下了场雨
It only rained in New York yesterday.
天啊 你们留在纽约居然不带我们
Oh, my God! You stayed in New York without us!
我们说谎了
We're liars!
对不起
I'm so sorry.
不 是我的错 是我一直撒谎
No, it's my fault. I -- I kept the lie going.
我们真的要忽略
Okay, are we really glossing over the fact
我也能察觉出猫腻这事吗
that I figured something out?
我来告诉你们还忽略了什么
I'll tell you what else we're glossing over --
你们在父亲节表现多糟糕
how bad you all are at Father's Day.
我一个儿子有偷盗癖
I've got one son who's a kleptomaniac,
另一个喜欢上自己的亲姨
the other who's in love with his own aunt --
即使照你的标准也太恶心人
creepy even by your standards --
还有一个女儿 让我被迫看了她
and a daughter who I was forced to see naked
像刚出生时赤♥裸♥的样子
as the day she was born.
来吧 小卡 来亲我这个娘炮
Come on, Cam. Kiss me like the sissy I am!
-来的真是时候 -天啊
- Right on cue. - Oh, God.
祝我自己父亲节快乐
Happy Father's Day to me.
再来个锦上添花 我刚发现
Icing on the cake -- I just found out
我的妻子有严重的恋父情结
my own wife has major daddy issues.
让我不禁想这才是她和我一起的真正原因
Makes me wonder if that's the whole reason she's with me.
老爸 别乱说
Dad, come on.
我们或许毁了你的节日 我承认
We may have ruined your day, yes,
但你现在只是在穿凿附会
but now you're just spiraling.
每一段感情都有各自的问题
I mean, every relationship has its issues,
但歌♥洛莉亚超级喜欢你
and Gloria adores you!
享受这胜利吧
Take the win.
你们真这么想吗
You think?
爸爸真的好英俊
Papa was so handsome.
-真的 -真的
- Yes! - Yes. Yes. Yes!
好啦
All right!
你们每人盘子里都有一根香肠
You each have a sausage on your plate
我是根据你们每人的性格气质挑选的
I selected based on your individual personality and temperament.
这是血肠吗 为什么我的是粉色
Is this blood sausage? Because mine's pink.
我的也是粉红色...
Oh, my mine's pink, t--
很好笑 老爸
Oh. Very funny, Dad.
咬一口面包
Now take a bite of bread,
抿一口水净化一下味蕾
a sip of water to cleanse the palate.
我的闻起来很辣
Mine smells spicy.
来举个手 谁听到我说"闻闻香肠"了
Show of hands. Who heard me say "Smell your sausage"?
盒子上说这些猪每天被按♥摩♥
The box said these pigs were massaged daily,
然后从背后被杀
then killed from behind to
免得让恐慌荷尔蒙污染了肉质
keep the panic hormone from tainting the meat.
它们从背后被杀
They were murdered from behind?
我要你们注意三件事
The three things I want you to pay attention to
香气 口感还有余味
are bouquet, texture, and finish.
你们可以开始了
You may begin.
能给我来点番茄酱吗
Can I have some ketchup?
别说了 散会吧
We are done here.
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