摩登家庭
Modern Family S08E16
Part 3
Nov. 28, 2019, 11:51 a.m.
某天晚上 雷纳问我
The other night, Rainer asked me
是否愿意做
if I would be into
耳烛
candling.
你们知道那是什么吧
You know what that is, right?
-当然 -当然
- Yes! - Yes!
就是做那个...
It's when you do the...
然后 然后...
and then -- and then you --
然后再噗噗
and then you do the -- the boop, boop.
耳烛就是点燃一根中空的蜡烛放入...
Candling is where you light a hollow candle and insert it...
一边耳道内
into one of the ear canals...
以清除耳垢
to remove ear wax.
老天
Ah -- oh, God.
问题是 我不知道自己是否
The thing is, I don't know if I want to be
想和雷纳那么亲密
that intimate with Rainer.
我真的准备好看到他流出的耳屎了吗
Am I really ready to see gunk coming out of his ear?
万一看完觉得他不性感了怎么办
I mean, like, what if he stops being sexy?
就是这样的亲密事
Well, it is intimacy like that
才能让人分出随便谈谈与真爱的不同
that separates casual dating from something more serious.
那你之前说的呢
But what about what you said earlier,
即使你们这么坚定的伴侣也有个人界限
how even committed relationships like yours have boundaries?
说什么 什么界限
Excuse me, what boundaries?
我手♥机♥没电了 能借用你们的吗
Hey, my phone died. Can I borrow one of yours?
你跟她说我们有界限吗
You told her we have boundaries?
你跟他们说我让你给我做耳烛吗
You told them I asked you to candle me?
我感觉我们快喝不了茶了
Okay, I feel like this tea's getting away from us.
玉米片 来买♥♥玉米片啊
Nachos! Get your nachos here!
走开
Get!
走开
Get!
干扰球 裁判 吹哨啊
Goaltending! Ref, do your job!
我只是个药剂师
I'm a pharmacist.
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
菲尔
Phil.
你似乎有点紧绷
You seem a little tight, man.
德安德鲁·乔丹
Hey, DeAndre Jordan.
没有没有 只是稍稍有点怯场
Uh, no, no, no, just working out the jim-jams.
反正前半重在了解对手
First half's about getting a read.
好吧
Yeah, right.
我都不知道粉丝还能指导呢
I didn't realize that fans were coaching.
而且你帮的是家长队
And you're helping the parents.
教师是我们国家的支柱
Teachers are the backbone of our country.
滚吧
Get out of here.
当父母是这世上最艰难的工作
Parenting is the hardest job in the world.
我受够了你自作聪明的样子
I'm so sick of you acting like you know everything.
你去看心理医生真是屁用都没有
Going to therapy did nothing for you.
首先 你别转队了
First of all, stop transferring.
曾有过一场违背口头协议的转队闹剧
其次 不如我指导那支队伍
Secondly, how about I coach that team,
你指导这支队伍
you coach this team?
10块海豚币赌你和菲尔输定了
10 Dolphin Dollars you and Phil are going down.
10块连个泡棉海豚都买♥♥不起
10? You can't even get a Foam Flipper with that.
何不赌50海豚币
Let's make it 50.
德哥 别这样
D.J., please.
50块现金怎么样
How bout 50 real ones?
好 那就5000美金
Okay. Make it five grand.
一下抬这么高吗
That's the jump?
为我赢下这场
Go win this for me.
好
Okay.
我们是同一队的
We're on the same team!
犯规 有人对我犯规
Foul! Somebody fouled me!
别假摔了
Stop flopping!
菲尔 加油 专注点
Phil, come on, man. Focus!
我们刚赌上了奥♥运♥金牌
We just bet our Olympic gold medals.
为什么 没人逼你做到这一步
Why? No one's making you do this!
我不想让你不自在
I hate that I made you uncomfortable.
我只是想让我们对彼此更真实
I-I just wanted us to be real with each other.
我也想这样
I want that, too.
我准备好了 我会给你做耳烛
I think I'm ready. I will candle you.
瞧瞧
Oh, look at that --
两个真实的陌生人打破隔阂
two virtual strangers breaking down walls
而我原先都不知道我们有隔阂
when I didn't even know we had any.
我告诉海莉我们有界限
When I told Haley we had boundaries,
只是指某些事
I just meant that there are certain things
我不会想请你做
I'd rather not ask you to do.
比如呢
Like what?
不管我们有何需求
We should be open and honest
都该对彼此坦诚
about whatever our wants and needs are.
既然我们决定坦诚以对
As long as we're being real,
我有件事要向你坦白
there's something you need to know.
我什么事情都愿意...
There is absolutely nothing I --
别打扰我看好戏
Shh! I want to hear this.
把你的手给我
Give me your hands.
好 深呼吸 海莉加油
Okay, deep breath. Come on, Haley.
我的眉毛是画出来的
I draw in my eyebrows.
素颜的我长这样
This is the real me.
他吓跑了吗 他还在不在
Did he leave? Is he still here?
我还在 而你还是一样的美丽动人
I'm still here, and you're still beautiful.
别再逃避我了
Stop running from me.
好吧
Fine.
我也有件事要向你坦白
I have a confession of my own.
看完好戏再说
Two seconds.
我从来没告诉过任何人
I've never told anyone this.
我用胶带给脖子拉皮
I use tape to pull my neck back.
我就知道
I knew it!
好帅好勇敢
Wow. So brave.
我现在感觉好赤♥裸♥
I feel so naked right now.
我也是
Me, too.
他们看起来根本没差别 是不
They look exactly the same, right?
有差 他们看起来很幸福
No, what they look is happy
因为他们勇敢地
because they are brave enough
-向对方展现了自己脆弱的一面 -小卡
- to be vulnerable with each other. - Cam --
你知道有多讽刺吗 你不敢叫我
It's just ironic that you won't ask me
帮你做那件神秘的事
to do whatever it is
因为你怕我会评判你
because you're worried I'll judge you,
然而我现在就在评判你 因为你不信任我
but I'm judging you now for not trusting me,
这样真的很伤人
and that hurts.
你说得果然没错
You're right, of course.
这样做真的使我们的关系更亲密了
This is only bringing us closer together.
当然啦 平时是找谁帮你弄来着
Uh-huh! Who'd you say normally does this?
我以前办公室附近的一家店
Uh, this place near my old office.
万不得已时也会找莉莉
Lily in a pinch.
好啦 应该刮干净了
Okay, well, I think that's it.
不行 你还要再刮一遍
Oh, no, you have to go over it one more time.
够了 又不是在给桥上漆
Okay, we're not painting a bridge.
我已经找了两遍了
Okay, I've checked twice.
都没找到最后一个毒衣柜的发♥票♥
There's no invoice for this last closet.
肯定有的
Well, there has to be,
一定要找出来 不能被我爸看到
and we've got to find it before my dad does.
会不会是你不小心放碎纸机里碎掉了
Is there any chance you accidentally shredded it?
淡定 就算真的碎掉了 我也能轻易拼回来
Don't worry. If I did, it's an easy restore.
我可是地区拼图大赛60岁以下组别的冠军
I was regional jigsaw champion in the under-60 category.
这诡异的喷嚏
That weird sneeze.
听着就跟新闻上那个得病男的症状一样
You sound like the guy who was sick on the news.
怎么会 那人都快要散架了
No, that guy was falling apart.
你不可能被感染了
You can't be infected.
你并没有跟那块木板接触过
It's not like you've spent any time around that wood.
你又不会去仓库
I mean, you don't hang out in the warehouse.
-我见识过他们有多爱脱你裤子整你 -天啊
- I've seen how much those guys pants you. - Oh, my God.
我妈妈交了个新男友
My mom has a new boyfriend,
她不想让他知道她有孩子
and she doesn't want him to know she has kids,
所以每次他来我家 我就要到会议室过夜
so when he comes over, I sleep in the conference room.
会议室里有个样板衣柜
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