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Modern Family S08E19

Part 1 Nov. 28, 2019, 11:52 a.m.

听着
Listen up.
如果你们谁敢当二五仔
Any of youse goes stool-pigeon on me,
就等着穿进芝加哥大衣[棺材]吧
you'll find yourself in a Chicago overcoat.
亲爱的你不会一直到婚礼现场
Honey, you're not gonna talk like that
都要这样说黑话吧
all the way to the wedding, are you?
到那座天桥都忍♥不了
Or all the way to that overpass?
至少你还挺好看的
Hey, at least you look cute.
谁替我挑的衣服
Who picked my outfit?
我啊
I did.
我爸和洛林决定办一个1920年代主题婚礼
My dad and Lorraine decided to have a 1920s-themed wedding.
多么浪漫的时代啊
Such a romantic time.
是啊过度开垦沙尘暴 3K党禁酒令
Yeah, dust bowls, the Klan, Prohibition.
我...我相信他们会提供酒的
Oh, I'm -- I'm sure they'll have alcohol.
自助加油吗
Self-serve?
我猜油猴们肯定在后面扔[杀]骰子玩呢
I guess the grease monkeys must be out back shooting dice.
能让他们来把我们杀了吗
Can they come out here and shoot us?
天啊低头
Oh, God, look down.
海莉
Haley?
我们要去参加一个高档的地方行吗
We're going somewhere fancy, okay?
哪里过去吗
Where, the past?
你好啊吉米
Hi, Kimmy.
你也跟我们一样不想乔装打扮吗
You didn't feel like dressing up, too?
想要你们美丽的招子忘记见到过
What do you say those pretty peepers of yours
著名的黑帮老大菲林杰
never saw the famous gangster Phillinger
改自1930年代的知名银行劫匪与黑帮分子约翰·迪林杰
和他的前妓♥女♥接应车手要多少钱呢
and his ex-prostitute getaway driver?
我看...十块大洋应该...
I think a, uh -- a sawbuck should do the --
太大张了我去换点零钱
That's too much. I'm gonna get some change.
祝你们盛装日开心
Enjoy dress-up day.
老妈你得管管你男人
Mom, you need to control your man.
我可受不了听这角色说话一整天
I cannot listen to this character all day.
你们了解老爸也了解老爸的老爸
Guys, you know your dad. You know your dad's dad.
我们面对的是神秘的傻瓜力量
We are up against unimaginable forces of goofy.
记得他是因为爱才这样做的就行了
Just remember he does it out of love.
条子来了我们快闪人吧
It's Johnny Law! Let's hot-foot it!
菲尔
Phil!
这什么情况
What the hell is all this?
我接了一个辣酱的急单
I got a rush order for my sauce,
我平常的那个厨房♥被订走了
and the kitchen that I usually use was booked,
所以我只能全部自己做
so I have to do everything myself.
我昨晚好像没睡好
You know, I think I slept funny last night.
别这样我知道请你帮忙也是白搭
No, don't. I know better than to ask for your help.
那就好我还要去打高尔夫呢
Ah, good, 'cause I have a tee time.
能顺路捎上我去取毕业舞会的燕尾服吗
On the way, could you take me to pick up my prom tux?
听着像你爱做的事情啊
That sounds like something you'd love to do.
我的确非常不想去
I so don't want to do that.
我明年就70岁了
I'm turning 70 next year.
我知道我状态很好
I know -- I look great.
这把年纪的特权之一就是
One of the few perks of getting up there
可以毫无愧疚地直接拒绝别人
is the ability to say no without guilt.
"能送我去机场吗" 不行
"Can I have a ride to the airport?" No.
我有兴趣看你外甥女的独奏会吗
Do I want to see your niece's recital?
没有
Nuh-unh.
"想要参加马拉松竞走来结束全球..."
"Want to do a walk-a-thon to end global --"
你就别白费唇舌了
I'm gonna stop you right there.
昨晚有人进我房♥间吗
Was anyone in my room last night?
我昨晚把你安顿睡下后就没了
Not after I tucked you in.
很好我房♥间有怪物
Great. I have a monster.
我想你肯定搞错了
I'm sure you're mistaken.
没有今晚我上♥床♥睡觉前一定要抓住它
Nope. And we have to catch him before I go to bed tonight.
乔世界上没有怪物
Joe, there's no such thing as monsters.
冷静我没打算叫你帮忙
Calm down. I'm not gonna ask you to help.
看样子今年我可以享清福了
Shaping up like a pretty good year.
早餐吃蛋糕吗这才像话嘛
Cake for breakfast? Now we're talking.
别别碰
No, don't touch that!
那是为胡娇叔叔今晚的
I'm making that for Uncle Pepper's
化妆派对准备的
costume party tonight.
主题是著名电影角色二人组
The theme is famous movie duos.
小爸和我要扮成《荒野猎人》里的小李子与熊
Daddy and I are going as Leo and the "Revenant" Bear.
名演员莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥在2015年的电影
对了
You know what?
小帕哪儿去了
Where is Pam?
她说她两小时前就能到
She said she was gonna be here two hours ago.
她完全不尊重别人的时间
She has no respect for anyone else's time.
她说她要过来住一两天
You know, she says she's gonna pop in for a "Short stay."
我们就好像得重新安排我们的生活了一样
It's like we're just supposed to rearrange our lives?
我花了很长时间才终于明白这个道理
It's taken me a long time, but I've finally learned
一提到小卡姐姐的事情
that when it comes to Cam's sister,
我说的任何话都可以并且会被用来打我的脸
anything I say can and will be used against me.
你说我们是不是应该让酒保
Do you think maybe we should, you know,
别再卖♥♥酒给小帕了
have the bartender cut Pam off?
天啊她有点要发酒疯了
Oh, God, you know what? She is getting a little bit messy.
小帕米奇尔觉得你可能...
Uh, Pam, Mitchell thinks you're kind of
在让自己出丑
making a fool out of yourself.
去死吧米奇尔
Go to hell, Mitchell!
你麻利儿地快去死吧
You go straight to hell!
女王陛下终于大驾光临了
Well, her majesty has finally arrived.
我能感觉到你有多生气
I can sense how angry you are.
我知道我知道我迟到了
I know. I know. I'm late.
没有家人永远不算迟到
No, there's no late when you're family.
虽然米奇尔刚刚还在说
Although Mitchell was just saying --
什么风把你吹来了
What brings you into town?
当模特
Modeling.
你说什么当模特吗
I'm sorry. Modeling?
素♥人♥模特
Real-person modeling.
在老家他们把我放到饲料商店的广♥告♥牌上
Back home, they put me on a billboard for the feed store,
结果大受欢迎
and I caught the bug.
下一站好莱坞
Next stop -- Hollywood.
好吧那你要在城里待多久
Okay. So how long are you gonna be in town?
谁知道呢
Well, who's to say?
我还希望是知道呢
Well, I was hoping it'd be you.
梦想是没有期限的
You can't put a date on a dream.
说到这个
‭Speaking of,
我得去参加一个试镜
we need to take me to an audition,
我有点紧张所以我希望你俩
and I'm a little jittery, so I was hoping you guys
能陪我去给我点精神支持
would want to ride along for moral support.
其实米奇尔和我有个...
Oh, actually, Mitchell and I have a r--
我们今天很忙是不是啊米奇尔
We have a really busy day. Isn't that right, Mitchell?
对啊
Uh, yeah.
不会花很长时间的快走吧
Oh, this won't take long. Let's go.
在路上我还可以练习一下我的关节痛表情
On the ride over, I can practice my joint pain grimaces.
你还好吗
Are you okay?
很好啊很好
I am! I am!
我知道很好很厉害
Oh, yeah, I know. You're good. You're good.
又来
Again?!
乔好久都没用过这个勾衣服的破摇篮
Joe hasn't slept in that chewed-up sweater snagger
但歌♥洛莉亚不让我扔那孩子碰过的
in years, but Gloria won't let me get rid of anything
任何东西我需要个计划
the kid has ever touched, so I needed a plan.
幸运的是当你拒绝一切的时候
Fortunately, when you say no to everything,
就腾出了时间来构思绝妙计划
it frees up time to concoct ingenious schemes.
看乔哪都没有怪物
Look, Joe, there's no monsters anywhere.
床底下没有
There's nothing underneath the bed,
帐篷里也没有
nothing inside the teepee.
你们确定吗
Are you sure?
当然怪物需要藏身之处
Yes, monsters need places to hide.
他们不像邪灵
They're not like the evil spirits,
就围绕在我们身边
which are all around us.
-什么 -没有啥也没有宝贝
- What? - ‭No, no, nothing, baby.
-啥也没有 -看我的窗户开着
- Nothing. - Look, my window's open.
可能他就是从窗户进来的
Maybe that's how he got in.
不可能
Impossible.