摩登家庭

Modern Family S08E11

Part 4 Nov. 28, 2019, 11:51 a.m.

but it's like her needs come before everyone else's.
你认识这样的人吗
You know that kind of person?
我好像真有认识呢
I think I do, yeah.
等等为啥我开始聊起我妈了
Wait, why was I talking about her?
不知道啊我本来是问
I don't know. The question was --
"你昨晚做什么了"
"What did you do last night?"
这问题我还在等你回答
And the question stands.
抱歉
Sorry.
我前夫
Ex-husband.
他就不能跟我儿子共处超过三小时
Honestly, it's like he can't be with my son
并且不问我一些没意义的愚蠢问题吗
for more than three hours without texting me some inane question.
原来你有个儿子啊
Oh -- Oh, you have a son?
我的一生挚爱
Love of my life.
离婚这事对他打击挺大
He took the divorce pretty hard.
他比较特别你懂吗
He's...different, you know?
他比较...
He's really --
他很有创意内心敏感
He's creative and sensitive,
在学校常常受欺负
and he gets picked on a lot at school.
真是幸好有他的舞蹈班
You know, it's like, thank God for his dance class.
感觉那里好像是唯一
I feel like it's the only place
我能看到他感到真正开心的地方
that I see, like, real joy on his face.
我就知道
I knew it.
你就是个大烂人
You're the worst!
你说什么
Excuse me?
我不是理查德你个白♥痴♥
I'm not Richard, you fool.
我是被你跟你的大平板
I'm the father you and your giant iPad
夺走自己女儿初次芭蕾独舞的父亲
robbed of his daughter's first ballet solo.
我本来期望你有个
I hope whatever reason you had
很好的理由才把自己孩子放在我孩子之上
to prioritize your child over mine was a good one,
而现在我听到理由虽然挺有理
and now that I hear it, it's pretty close,
这我承认但你还是烂
I have to admit, but still.
你真是个神经病
You're a maniac,
但我挺庆幸的
but I'm grateful
因为这是我一生中所去过
because this has been one of the most abysmal dates
最烂的约会之一了
I have ever been on.
大多数人觉得猫咪都很冷淡
People think that cats are standoffish,
但我家的这只每当我回家时...
but my guy, when I come home --
好了我得请你暂停一下了
Okay, I've got to stop you right there.
我其实不是安娜我们之间也不来电
I'm not Ana, and this isn't happening.
我感觉到了
I had a feeling.
我能起码跟你合个影吗
Can I at least take a picture with you
这样我能跟其他女人说我跟你约会过
so I can tell other women we dated?
什么不行
What? No!
你说得对
You're right.
只是因为你真的超漂亮
It's just that you're so pretty.
好啦过来拍一张吧
All right, get in here.
小姐
Ma'am?
曼尼别这样
Manny, come on.
我们去派对要迟到了
We're going to be late for the mixer.
不好意思我让你从冷板凳起来了吗
Excuse me, did I say your time-out was over?
回你床上去
Back on the bed.
对不起嘛再也不整你了
I'm sorry, okay? No more pranks.
我发誓
I promise.
我就是想跟你玩一下嘛真是的
I just wanted to have fun with you. Geez!
我忘了我在里面动了手脚
I forgot I did that one!
曼尼对不起嘛
Aye, Manny! Por favor!
出去你给我出去
Get out. Get out!
卢克我们来谈谈
Luke, we should talk about this!
没什么好谈的
There's nothing to talk about.
你也别想来这个白♥痴♥的派对
And you're not coming to this stupid party.
-我要自己去 -我也是
- I'm going alone. - So am I.
我才不想去上什么傻♥逼♥钟琴课
Like I want to take some stupid bell class
只为了发掘另一个我不擅长的领域
so we can all find out there's one more thing I can't do.
别说了至少你♥爸♥对你有信心
Oh, boo-hoo. Your dad believes in you.
我妈把我当日本整蛊节目的来宾一样
My mom's treating me like I'm on some Japanese game show.
好你赢
Fine! You win!
比爸妈差劲你赢比考大学你赢
You win worst parent, you win college.
祝你万事都赢我就去地下铲屎处
Hope you have fun here while I'm shoveling poo
铲屎就好啦
in some underground poo-shoveling place.
如果你确信自己考不上
Well, why'd you even come here
为什么还要来呢
if you're so sure you can't get in?
我也不知道
I don't know.
大概这是唯一一个我们都能考上的地方
Maybe because this is the one place we might both get in.
和你一起大学才不会那么可怕
That might make this whole thing a little less scary!
我也是因为这样才报名这里啊
Well, that's the only reason I applied, too!
-那我们还吵什么 -我哪知道
-Then why are we fighting?! -I don't know!
那我们还去派对吗
So, are we still going to the party?
去啊等我戴个帽子
Yeah, I'll put on a hat!
我只想让卢克对自己有点自信
I just wanted Luke to feel good about himself, you know?
想给他加加油而已
Cheer him on a little.
大概过分鼓励也不好
Maybe there is such a thing as too much cheerleading.
如果你总是说有多相信他
You tell him he can do anything, and when he can't,
那他一旦失败就会觉得令你失望了
he feels like he's disappointing you.
卢克知道我永远不会对他失望
Luke knows I'd never be disappointed in him.
是吗卢克是很贴心
Does he? Luke is very sweet,
但也不是总那么灵光啊
but he doesn't know a lot of things.
所以我应该适当鼓励他
So I'm supposed to pump him up,
但不要过度鼓励以致他会担心令我失望
but not so much that he's afraid to let me down.
我做不好这件事也挺讽刺的
It's ironic that I'm struggling with this
因为我最厉害的拉拉队招式就是"穿针引线"
since my greatest cheerleading move was threading the needle.
就是7名拉拉队队员这么圈起手臂
It's when your seven cheermates make hoop arms --
不想听
I don't care.
我只想让曼尼能开得起玩笑
I just want Manny to learn how to take a joke.
但大喊"变♥态♥"然后把他
Yes, but there's a difference between a joke
他推进女更衣室还是跟
and yelling "Pervert!" before shoving him
普通开玩笑有差别的
into the girls' locker room.
多好玩啊
Aye, please, that was funny.
而且我这么挡着不让他出来时
Besides, I was the one who broke a heel
还把鞋跟弄坏了呢
trying to keep the door shut.
大学是人生中的重大改变
College is a big change.
我只想让他轻松应对
I'm just trying to keep it light for him.
是为了他还是为了你自己
For him or for you?
好啦
Okay.
这是他人生中第一次离开我
He's leaving me for the first time in his life.
我在婚姻中浮浮沉沉
I've been married, I've been divorced,
也曾不停搬家
I've lived here, I've lived there.
我开过出租车也赢过"星探"节目
I drove a taxi, I won "Star Search."
可不管多少场变故曼尼一直在我身边
Through all the changes in my life, there was always us.
像我的搭档
Like partners.
如果不保持搞笑的气氛我会很难过的
If I don't keep this light, I am going to be very sad.
我知道这不好受
I know. It stinks.
只能祈祷年底时孩子会把你烦得不行
You just have to hope they get irritating enough
你就能开心地送他走了
by the end of the year that you're ready for them to go.
那我应该把口琴还给他
Maybe I should give him his harmonica back.
这么想就对了
That's the spirit.
你吃我这半块牛肉
Here, take my half steak.
我吃你半条鱼
I'll take half your fish.
我偶尔得骗骗我的动脉
I got to trick my arteries every once in a while,
不然他们又要造♥反♥了
keep them on their toes.
虽然我不知道你最近在忙什么
Well, I don't know what you're doing,
但你看上去很好
but you look great.
你气色也不错
And you look great, too.
吧台那里有个空位
Oh, look, there's no line at the bar.
看在往日情分去喝杯鸡尾酒如何
How about a Rob Roy for old time's sake?
中士你还记得呢
Oh, you remembered, Sarge.
我怀孕的时候只喝这种酒
That was the only drink I could keep down when I was pregnant.
他们俩怎么了
Who are those people?
你听到了他们是"中士"与"小豆宝"
You heard them. They're "Sarge" and "Pea."
我从没听他们这样称呼对方
Two nicknames I have never heard in my entire life.
我才不信他们俩能这么和谐
This kindness, I don't trust it.
-我懂暴风雨前的宁静 -对